Blog

In response to a question on Quora, I recalled 3 things that I learnt in my first ever job

While the first one was almost an instant realization, the second and third were formed over years and has taken time to transform from a hypothesis to a theorem 

It’s been over 13 years, and it still holds true

If you do what everyone else is doing, you will end up being what everyone else is. To rise above everyone, you have to do things differently

Your manager has a far bigger role to play in your learning than the leadership

Your leadership has a far bigger role to play in the culture of the company than your manager

One of my favorite interview questions is “do you like starting things or finishing things?”

Almost 80% people like to start things. Shouldn’t come as a surprise though. 

Finishing is much harder. 

Finishing that project requires a lot more than starting it 

Driving a conclusion requires a lot more than initiating the discussion meeting 

Making the product work requires a lot more than starting to code the product

Building an organization where people love to come to work requires a lot more than hiring people 

Starting projects is what people do a lot more than completing them 

But thoughts work very differently 

Thinking never truly finishes. And hence, it’s the beginning that’s the hardest. 

Taking the first step to imagine, to listen, to comprehend, to think – is super super hard 

Once you have imagined or reimagined a thought – converting it into action is a unique path you will define, sooner than later (repeat – starting a task is easier than finishing it) 

The key then is – to start a thought 

I have been given some very valuable, gracious feedback on how this blog is a thought starter. 

They think it’s because I am experienced and am living through these emotions before most. 

I know it’s a thought starter because I keep it simple. 

The goal is NOT to define the path, not to be a self help book, but to plant thoughts and ideas. 

To just write in simple language what I thought of a certain situation in my life. 

No fancy words, no complex models, no fancy theorems, no patents filed! 

I am no intellectual. And I don’t pretend to be one. 

But when I read super insightful material written in a manner that only a few people can comprehend, I wish even the intellectuals didnt think of themselves as one. 

Ironically, our need to maintain our intellectual status ends up alienating the same people we wish to change

You get up every morning 

You show up

You slog it out 

You do the right things

You work really really hard

Don’t cheat, don’t steal, don’t beg, don’t lie

Here is the honest truth – people don’t care

The world doesn’t owe you it’s time just because you do the right thing the right way

The world owes you it’s time only because you have made it worth it for them 

Back in the Stone Age, the basic instinct was to survive. From animals, nature, any possible danger. 

Our brains were constantly working. Doing an almost great job of telling us when we need to watch out. 

I am assuming this single trait allowed us to survive through billions of years and “evolve” 

“Unfortunately” the brain has evolved much better than we might have expected.

It still works well to remind us of the danger ahead. What might hurt us. 

But the nature of that danger has changed. It’s not physical as much as it is emotional. It’s not arrows and spears and stones as much as it is words and feelings. 

The brain, everyday, is telling us not to do things that will be dangerous for us

Don’t ask that question. The world will make you feel stupid 

Don’t quit that job. You will lose social reputation 

Don’t wake up. Sleep will give you the needed rest

Don’t say you love her. It will make you vulnerable 

Don’t take that unpopular decision. People will not like you anymore. 

Overtime, dangers to mankind have reduced considerably. We are not threatened by extinction everyday nor do we think we might not return home at the end of the day. 

However overtime, our feelings that the brain manifests as danger, have taken over our actions.

What hasn’t changed though is – who in the tribe wins. 

The one that wins over the danger

And the danger today is our brain telling us to get comfortable. 

Nothing changes your life in 30 seconds 

Don’t fall for the trap, the easy diet, the short cut, the motivational video, the click bait, the pretty face, the higher pay. 

What will it take to be successful?

It will take everything! 

?

Email from a colleague that’s moving on 

?

I am an eternal optimist. People who know me well call me the irrational optimist. 

It’s my belief that the future is always beautiful. Tomorrow is always better than today. 

The operating word I chose to describe the future is better. 

It will be bigger. It will bring in more gratification. It will make you a more aware, a more experienced individual. It will bring peace, a sense of accomplshement or achievement. 

Unfortunately, most of us use the wrong operating word to describe the future. 

Easier 

Tomorrow will be easier than today 

Come to think of it – we have been raised this. 

Study tomorrow so that tomorrow is better (easier, is what they were hinting towards) 

Finish your education before so that you can depend on it tomorrow (education will make the future easier) 

Work hard in your 20s and 30s so that 40s are better (easier again) 

Instead, how about realizing the only truth of life 

Tomorrow is not going to be easier. It will be better, at best. 

And if that’s the case, the right question to ask is not if you are excited about the future. 

Instead,

Are you prepared for the future? 

Debt is largely a misunderstood financial instrument, especially at a consumer level. Somehow taking debt is not considered being financial prudent. While there is enough literature to suggest that debt can be a fantastic lever for growth, if managed well. 

Reason it carries a bad reputation is because of all the horror stories when the debt cannot be serviced. You can lose everything you had, because the debt providers have the first right to your property. 

But the normal world, where debt is serviced well everyday and individuals gain from this debt, largely goes unnoticed. Because hey, it’s the normal. 

There is another kind of debt servicing that rarely talked about. And I consider sheer evil. 

Emotional debt

Debt that we take on our head. Either by choice, or artificially planted. 

There is a fancy name for that too. Emotional blackmail. 

It’s debt, at the end of it. 

Because you tell yourself, irrespective of my situation and my need, I need to service this debt first. 

I cannot leave this job, because I had promised my boss I will stay

I cannot go back to work, because I had promised my kids I would be around 

I cannot take this decision, because it will betray the trust you have in me

I have to tell you how much I love you, and care for you, before I express my love for anything else

I have to fulfill my destiny here, before I fulfill it somewhere else 

Emotional debt is an intangible. It doesn’t exist. We created it. And we allowed it to grow. Because we don’t pay for it everyday. We accumulate interest for that one day when we will repay back the debt in all. 

And this fucks up our judgement. 

Here is what helps

Treating emotional debt as financial debt 

Take it only when you need it 

Pay it in monthly installments

Emotional debt has killed more people than financial debt ever will. 

Right before the gym entrance this morning, I am greeted by a guy I have seen several times working out. 

“The gym is closed”

“Really?” 

Of course the question was a rhetoric. I wasn’t going to believe him. I went up to the door. And indeed, there was a closed sign hanging on the door. 

I pushed the door open

Looked inside

There were folks working out 

I didn’t say anything to anyone. And started to work out. 

A minute later, the “gym is closed” guy enters. And remarks, “stupid people. Why did they put the closed sign on the door, when it was open?”

“To determine whether you would take the world’s declaration as the truth. Or go and find it yourself”, I told myself. 

“Next time, open the door. Irrespective of what it says” – I told him. 

“And I am not talking just gym doors”

This place, this morning, had taught me yet another life lesson. 

As the founder of a pro-consumer tech startup, the right thing to say is “customer is the king”.

The right thing to say is that we are “customer obsessed”

The right thing to say is that “the customer is always right”

Just that – the customer isn’t always right. The customer is always optimizing for their gains. And that can lead them to be petty, to be dishonest, to be unreasonable.

At nearbuy, we make a lot of mistakes. And the nature of our business, where the delivery of the service is not in our control but in the merchant’s control, makes these mistakes more vivid.

And everyday, we work really really hard to fix these problems. Through tech, through working with the merchants, through processes.

We are able to resolve most customer concerns. Some of them happen instantly. Some take time. At no point are these shoved under the “I don’t care about this” carpet.

Sadly (and perhaps understandably) some customers don’t care about any of this.

Yesterday, I had a rather disturbing conversation with a customer. A senior employee at a large MNC. Regular buyer.

He found our customer service “disgraceful” because we refused to give him a 25-30% additional discount on his bulk purchase. He has uninstalled the nearbuy app and vowed to encourage others to do so as well.

“I am really sorry to lose you as a customer”, is all that I could say.

Another customer yesterday claimed that our Buy1, Get1 offer on Sunday brunch was misleading because it was sold for Rs. 19. She felt that for Rs.19 she would get 2 brunches.

We should have absolutely don’t a better job of the words we chose to describe the offer. But to imagine that you would get 2 brunches worth 1200 each, by paying 19 bucks? And then to call the customer service manipulative, when we tried to explain the situation?

Guess what – had the customer raised the issue to make us aware and not raise an alarm, we would have most certainly made the purchase for her, on our expense. Because we like people who genuinely wish to help us get better.

And then I see this on Quora

The response is one thing. The 16k upvotes is  what’s most disturbing.

There is a section of society that endorses this dishonesty. That calls it smart. That calls it “fuck you, business. I only care about my money”

It’s these same set of customers who have tragically seen themselves or their friends and family go through layoffs and shutdowns because of the recent conditions in the market.

The customer today is more powerful than ever before.
You can voice your opinion and make organizations respond to your needs.
You can bring companies down.
You can make them win.

And that makes the role of the customer a very responsible one.

We need your money.
And promise to work really hard to give you value in return.

But more than ever before, we need you to be fai?r.
To demand what you ought to, not what you want to.

Please don’t make us fake customer service.