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Avoid

People who think of themselves higher than you think of them

They don’t want to grow.

They think they have already done everything

They have a misplaced sense of self worth

Developed largely by their own minds

Not by feedback

Hold on to

People who hold you to a standard much higher than you hold yourself to

They genuinely want you to win

They see in you a much higher order than you do yourself

And they act as the motivating mirror

Always showing you not who you are

Rather who you can be

The most dangerous kinds

People who think of themselves higher than you think of them AND hold you to a

higher standard than you hold yourself to

These individuals give you the impression they wish to help you.

They give the impression they want to fight with you

Not to make you a better version of yourself

But to make you lose

To tell you that even at your best, you are only a shade of who they are

(Most so-called mentors fall in this category!)

Knowing the kind of people around you, is the first step to improving yourself

Eliminating the toxic ones is the best step to improving yourself

Patriotism is when you like your country for what it does

Nationalism is when you like your country irrespective of what it does

Are you a patriot or a nationalist, when it comes to your startup?

Vidur (my 6yr old) has been learning the piano for a year now.
And he is really good at it.
He can read and write notes
And usually understands new notes faster than anyone in class
And then plays it by memory
Has also started creating his own music.
Which doesn't have much sense, but sounds peaceful when I hear it

There is one thing he hates though
Practice
And that worries the shit out of me!

Two words can predict someone's professional outcome accurately

Talent
Hard work

Think of a 2×2 matrix – talented (yes or no) on one axis and hardworking (yes or no) on the other

The worst is of course no talent and not hardworking
But the one after that is talented but not hardworking
Because the hardworking but not talented guy will any day beat the shit out of the talented guy

Hard working people know how to convert their hard work into talent
Talented people are poor. They only have their talent!

People use the term as if it's interchangeable. But it's not.

The titles are of course different
Founder – founded the company
CEO – runs the company

If it's the same person with both the titles, it is supremely critical to know the distinction

And I was made to realize it again day before

Founder – executes.
He knows what it takes to build the company, has a view on the market and the product.
Thus, a review meeting turns into a workshop
Where he identifies a problem and rolls up his sleeve to solve it

CEO – delegates.
He knows he has the team to build the company, bases his views on what his trusted people tell him, has his ears to the ground but knows that he cannot be the one fixing things
Thus, a review meeting remains a review meeting
This should be looked at again.
This is great
What drive this conclusion?
Yeah, we all agree this doesn't work. Fix it!
When he identifies a problem, he trusts his team to find out how to solve it
And he ensures there is nothing in their way, to do so

The important thing then is to know when to act as a founder and when to act as a CEO

During a founder conversation, don't become a CEO
During a CEO conversation, don't become a founder

It's been precisely 2 years since we became nearbuy from Groupon

And I honestly didn't expect such high and lows when we started on this journey.

In my head, it was a lot more stable and a lot more predictable
Instead – it was 2 years of fascinating highs and terrible lows.

And in the middle of all of this – the key is then to manage your own narrative.
What is the story you tell yourself every single day

Managing one's mind remains the single biggest determinant of startup outcome

Everything else – market, funding, team – is a manifestation of your thoughts

How you stand in front of your team, your investors, your customers and your vendors – is how the startup stands during the journey

Reminds me of one of the important statements in the Hard Things about Hard Things

I have come to realize that the physical and mental self are two different beings.
Almost independent.

The physical self seems to have no mind of its own (no pun intended)
It loves to sleep
It loves to eat
It loves to laze
It love comfort

The mental self clearly has a mind of its own, but suffers from severe peer pressure and social influence
What will the world say
I know I can do this but am I good enough
I should eat this; I shouldn't eat this

Overtime, the biggest realization is that the mental self's thoughts are extremely contagious
To your physical self
And to other mental selves

In other words,
How you think
Influences your physical self
And influences the mental selves of others

If you now know that you are the source of a "virus",
What would you choose to spread?

Hat tip: calm is contagious

The most fascinating thing science taught me was hypothesis-led thinking

It's the proposed explanation for a phenomenon. Comes from the Greek word hupothesis, meaning "to suppose"

One takes this hypothesis and sets out to prove it or disprove it.

If proven, you conclude. It becomes a theory or a law.

Here is the trouble with the process
Confirmation bias
The tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or hypothesis

And here is the deal about confirmation bias
Everyone knows that we fall prey to it
Or, in other words
People expect you to fall for it, because they know they have fallen for it

Now imagine people

When I meet someone, I very quickly form a hypothesis on that person
I have become faster over time, because I care for how good I am with it

My hypothesis is not yet my conclusion. It will take time – months and years – before I can safely conclude on an individual.

But I do have a hypothesis.
And I might share it with others, with the intent of proving or disproving it

People call that "being judgmental"
Because they expect confirmation bias to kick in.
They are sure that my hypothesis will end up being the conclusion, because hey, that's how it works.

Having a hypothesis is important

Having the ability to differentiate between hypothesis and conclusion, is even more important

Having the ability to have your hypothesis misunderstood as conclusion, is what eventually matters

Scrolling through your feed

You come across a post by a friend.

It's long. But it has several likes. And a tempting start.

You begin to read it.

You realize it's bullshit. Or something you don't care about. Or don't agree to. Or don't indulge in.

You of course won't comment.

But there is a very high chance, you will end up liking the post.

Because – you don't want to come across as an asshole. You have gone through the effort and the like, in a weird way, is YOUR redemption.

Ever wondered why 👍 is almost allways the end of most conversations?
It's the most useful emoticon out there

In other words, the like is you way of saying – this isn't worth sharing or commenting. I don't care enough.

Because the ones who care enough – engage.

They talk, they encourage, they refute, they probe.
They engage.

Social media likes are quite the opposite. They mean people didn't quite care enough with your content – so they simply said "I agree"

"I agree" means quite the opposite on social media

2 separate incidents caught my attention last week

A "motivational" post on LinkedIn
Usain Bolt has run 115 seconds in all his Olympic races combined and made $119Mn
That's $1Mn per second
#motivation #success
This is bullshit at its best. If I could I would crucify the original writer.

A conversation with a leading founder CEO from India
I met this gentlemen at an awards night sometime back. And he asks me, "so how does it feel to be rising so high in such a short period of time?"
And I replied, "it feels great that my 16 years of hard work is finally paying off"
(His company started 16 years back – and he has worked his ass off to be where he is today. Little do people know)

I am shocked at the amount of motivational garbage nowadays that sells itself on instant / overnight success.

Not caring to look beyond the obvious. The struggle. The background.

And then Elon Musk signed off day before – in an honest admission

It should be clear – success doesn't come overnight. It requires intense hard work, going through massive ups and downs, giving up a lot in life
And there is still no guarantee.

Because people who pursue it don't have a goal in mind. They simply have a process. A way of living life.
They are scared to make goals – what will they do once they hit them?

But the world of today will have you believe otherwise.
That a million dollars per second is success.
That 30under30 is success
That 50under50, if there is any, is bullshit and not worth talking
That a story of consistent hard work isn't as exciting as that of born genius
That winning the lottery is sexier than building a net worth

Winning the lottery is overnight success. But then lottery isn't success.
Don't confuse luck with success!

Saying no to someone is supremely hard.

We are hard wired to belong – to a tribe, a community, a group.
And in the past saying no meant isolation. Perhaps even death.

And while saying no nowadays mostly doesn't come with a death certificate, the habit has stayed.

If I say no – I will not belong. I will hurt the person. A negative image of mine will be created.

Here is a reminder

When you say no – you say no to the request, not to the person.

True grace is refusing someone in a way they don't feel rejected