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I am the head of the family. 

My job is to protect the family from all evil. 

To ward them off the bad news. 

To make their lives comfortable. And happy. And peaceful. 

It is my job to fight the evil. The bad news. The threats 

This is the family leadership style. The option I exercised all this while. And it dawns upon me that this option doesn’t drive engagement. Even motivation. 

The army leadership option is that of sharing the threat. 

We are (going to be) fucked. Here is why. And I need your help. Failure is not an option. 

You are likely to lose some people in this process. 

But the ones that will save you will be far more critical to your success than the one who continue delivering their best assuming it’s peacetime. 

Don’t assume people do not want to face the threat. They might surprise you. 

I get up everyday at 6am to get my son, Vidur, ready for school. He is 5 and loves going to school. 

In true Kashmiri style, I slide my hand in his tee and run his back (we call it “fush” in Kashmiri). Then I whisper good morning in his ear. He responds back. I ask him the same question everyday, “ache se soye? (Did you sleep well?)”. And he always responds in the affirmative. 

I place him on the pot. He then brushes. I then shower him. Dress him up. Comb his hair. Shoes. A little bit of deo. And then we head out to the bus stop. 

We are always late. Always. The bus is already there waiting for us. 

Because he takes so long getting up. What should take 5 mins takes 15-20mins. 

The other day I came really late from work. And was mentally tired. Knew I won’t be able to get up. Asked Ruchi to get him ready instead. 

At 6am she asks him to get up. He doesn’t respond. We tries thrice with not much movement. Then she says “if you don’t get up now, I will not allow you to go to school today”

That shakes him up. He gets up. Does everything by himself. 

They reach the bus stop at least 5-7 mins in advance. 

——-

When we started nearbuy 7 months back, I had imagined building a certain kind of organization. An institution where people would love to come to work, and in the hours they would spend here they would give their absolute best. 

Without being asked. Or threatened. Or forced. 

That’s what every talk, every book, every research told me. 

People work for the larger cause. 

People do not like living in fear. They abhor insecurity. 

People value appreciation. And acknowledgement. 

Every single colleague of mine, when I asked what they like about working with nearbuy, stating the dreaded words “awesome culture”. 

I use the words dreaded, because it seemed they equated comfort with culture – “I love it here. It’s so comfortable. It’s a great culture”. 

What I wanted instead was – “this organization gives us so much in the name of comfort. I don’t deserve it. I have to get up everyday and run the best 24 hours of my day to deserve it. Every single day.”

During one of the lunches with my colleagues I was asked – what is the one thing you are always thinking?

“I am always thinking – what drives people to give their best? One side tells me – opportunities and autonomy. Another side tells me – threat”

I do not know the answer. 

I just shudder to think that Vidur will grow up believing that threatening is the only way to get work done. 

And that’s a scary world. 

Something is broken. Let’s fix the issue. We will analyze ‘the why’ tomorrow 

Waking up is hard. Let’s sleep today. Will work out tomorrow 

This conversation will be hard. Let me be nice today and give the true feedback tomorrow

The truth is too hard to accept. Let me close my eyes today and wake up tomorrow. 

This isn’t working out. But let me stay. It will fix itself tomorrow. 

I am not going anywhere with this. But it pays for my bills. Will take the plunge tomorrow 

The more you solve for the present, the farther the future becomes 

I smoke only 5 cigs everyday 

I drink only on weekends

I check my phone during meetings only if it’s really important 

I clear all my emails by the weekend

I eat desserts only on weekends

I leave work everyday at 6pm

Here is what discipline is not 

It’s not merely a routine 
It’s not managing an exception 

It’s not about 90% restraint and 10% indulgence 

Discipline is showing up every single day. And doing the right thing every single day. 

And to know that whenever you slip, you go back to where you started from. Not where you left. 

Discipline is not an option. 

It’s a compulsion 

The Front row for a live event is always more engaged 

They cheer

They applaud

They emote

They reflect what you want them to

Question then is, 

how many of such front rows do you have? 

What’s being heard by the back row?

How many of the back row will move to the front row the next time you talk? 

That difficult conversation 

That hard decision 

That painful cut

That reset

Do it today. Do it now. 

Today has got to be the hardest day

Tomorrow is too far away

The past 3 weeks have been rough at work. Lot hitting us that we didn’t plan for, lot hitting us faster than we had planned for. 

And when shit happens, the easiest thing to let go off is the long term. The reason for your existence. Why did you get up in the morning. And why should anyone care. 

Because short term is a great thing. It’s now. It’s instant. It has a believable story. It shows a trend. It’s shows output. 

It doesn’t show outcome though. 

So in the middle of all of this, I just sat down and wrote. 

Wrote down every single emotion I was feeling. Where I fucked up. What signs did I ignore. Which faith did I turn into a belief. And which truth did I say no to. 

And from that emerged an honest document. Strangely, a document that I knew of all along in my head, but hadn’t seen it ever. 

As an entrepreneur, writing will not make you sell more or build better. It’s not possible. 

But it’s necessary. 

I hang out with my friends 

I hang out with my colleagues

With my family 

At the movies

At restaurants

At shopping malls

With my phone 

With TV

With my laptop

I hang out 16 hours a day with something or someone 

15 mins everyday, on my way to work, I close my eyes and think of yesterday, with my earplugs on but with no music, my phone blanked out, no calls, no talk. Where did I fuck up. Why did I. What do I need to do better than yesterday. 

For these 15 mins I hang out with myself 

And I wonder why I don’t do it enough 

Pointing mistakes 

Making decisions

The next time you are in either of these two situations, make the effort of getting up and understanding the impact of what you are about to do. 

It’s easy to sit and point mistake 

It’s hard to understand why it happened in the first place. To see the other side of the story. To hear it out. It’s the right thing to get up and fix it yourself. 

It’s easy to take a decision and forget about it 

It’s hard to understand what the impact will be. What should you measure. What should you improve. What will tell you it was a bad decision. Or a wrong one. It’s the right thing to ask what the decision should be. 

Arm chairs are meant for people who want to be comfortable. 

Successful people are always walking!

Don’t crib 

Don’t be lazy

Don’t judge

Don’t be perfect

Don’t wait

Don’t sit

Don’t review 

Don’t pause 

Don’t let free time enter your schedule 

Don’t let others tell you what to do

Don’t let others tell you who you are

Don’t let laziness happen

Don’t let pain affect you

Don’t have unread emails 

Don’t have doubts 

Don’t have time for haters

Have passion

Have empathy

Have 15 min meetings 

Have a packed day

Don’t stop

Move!