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I’ll be happy when I find my partner.
I’ll be happy when my parents understand me.
I’ll be happy when my efforts are applauded.

I’ll be happy “when”…

When we attach a “when” to happiness, we make it conditional. Someone else has to take the responsibility to do something that will make us happy. That’s a huge onus to place on those who aren’t even aware they are carrying a heavy load.

The safer and more convenient option is to own our happiness. To be able to control our factors and definition of happiness. To be happy alone.

Happiness in relationships is not contingent. Happiness is a relationship with ourselves. When we have that relationship right, we become happier in all other relationships.

If it made you happy yesterday, don’t put the pressure on it to make you happy today as well.

We humans change. External things don’t.

A wiser choice is to pick something different that matches your current state of happiness.

One of the happiest definitions of happiness is to know that happiness isn’t rigid. Nothing could be a happier realisation!

I often talk about suggesting kids in their 20s to go about exploring different career options. 

But what should you do when you have really found what you love, you’re good at it and the world is ready to pay you for it?

Double down on what you’ve found. Think of what all could be possible and what kindles the fire in you. Ask yourself what is the next level in the field you’ve picked.

And then, work super hard on being the best at it.

Exploration never stops. Vertical one just follows horizontal. Rinse and repeat.

As humans, leaders and wise humans, we love to solve problems for others. It makes us feel better, and we believe that it would make them feel better as well.

Except, that it doesn’t.

Smart people suffer from a problem called The Curse of Intelligence. They want to solve things fast. Make everything aligned. Remove the chaos. 

It hardly helps anyone. The one whose problem needs to be solved – the company, the family or friend have a certain way of operating that is different from who we are as an individual.

A really smart way is to ask questions. Questions help them understand the problem better. So do they help us. 

The best part? The one seeking for help gets it in the manner best for them.

When we talk about secrets to productivity, mostly we think they would be Pomodoro technique, having a schedule, working out, etc.

While all of that is true, there is something way bigger than it: Our rest schedule.

Rest and rejuvenation is not sitting idle, wasting time, and something to be done when we will have more time. It is rather a way of getting more productive. Because even when we are not doing “work” on the outside, amidst the games that we play, the music that we work on or maybe while folding clothes, the mind is working on its own patterns to bring us our solutions.

And that, in turn, accelerates our productivity.

When you’ll do things their way, they will be happy.
And so you kill your own happiness to make them happy.

However, they still don’t get happy.
Guess what happens? You aren’t happy either.

Why not do what makes you happy?

If you’re getting it right for others, you are certainly not getting it right at all.

I stayed at a wonderful place for a week where I paid more than what I earned in a year at my first job. 

Am I surprised everyday at how far I have come?
Yes! 

Do I believe it’s all my doing?
Not at all. It’s insane luck at play. 

Does that stop me from showing up everyday?
Thankfully not. 

Grateful for everything.
Entitled to nothing.

This is one of the fondest memories of my childhood. 

My Sanskrit exam was in a week.
And I was certain I would fail the exam.
Our teacher was so boring. Uninspiring.

Ma saw that I was scared.
She wrote a letter requesting the daughter of our temple priest to tutor me.
She had a Masters in Sanskrit.

I topped the exam!

It turns out that a good teacher can change your life.
And that good teacher needn’t be found in school or college.

One of the big mistakes people make while seeking out help, is being disrespectful of people’s time.

“I want to be respectful of your time so I will keep it short. I am confused about my career and don’t know what to do. Please help.”

“I am looking for help to connect me to investors. Attached is my business plan. Let me know your feedback”

Both these examples lack empathy. They make it hard for people to help them.

Because in order to help them, they will have to spend time understanding the context, synthesizing it and then figuring how they can be of help.

Not something most people will do.

The best way to get help is to make it easy for people to help you by being specific.

Find the manager who saw your errors and still chose to trust.

Find the investor who saw you fail and still chose to support.

Find the friend who saw your ills and still chose to love.

Find the partner who saw the worst of you and still chose to stay.