Words. Wisdom. Winners.
Half of our problems are not being able to distinguish between what we should do, want to do and have to do.
I should become an engineer/CA/lawyer/doctor
I want to become an engineer/CA/lawyer/doctor
I have to become an engineer/CA/lawyer/doctor
I should = what we think the world expects from us
I want = what we expect from our ourselves
I have = there is no choice between these two!
Should is a societal norm.
Want is the call of the heart.
Have to is the action out of obligation.
Awareness is having the wisdom to know the difference between the three.
Do you want to do your job or do you have to do your job?
Do you want to live with your parents or should you live with your parents?
Taking action is the next step.
The first one is knowing the real problem.
We struggle to love ourselves because we attach our self worth to what others think of us.
But we don’t control what others think of us.
People will think good of us when they are in a good mood.
People won’t think good of us when they are not in a good mood.
If we attach our self worth to what others think of us, we will always be a prisoner of their mood – which is fickle on changing partners, the content that they consume, and the time (if) they spend nurturing themselves.
Is that what we want to base our self worth on?
We don’t control what others think of us.
Awareness of this thought is the only thing we control.
Which makes it super easy to love ourselves :)
What others think of you is the output. You can never control that.
However, the best part is that your worth is never decided by what others think.
Your worth is what you do.
Your worth is who you are.
Your worth is the intentions you put in.
Your worth is determined by how much you care.
Your worth is what you are willing to say no to, because it isn’t the right thing.
Your worth is determined by You.
The worst way to respond to people who hate you, is to respond.
Haters are happy people who choose to suffer.
They are the kids who cried at the shopping mall with their Mom to hand them over the toy, and yet weren’t given any.
That kid grew up to hate everyone.
They don’t deserve responses.
They deserve no responses.
Silence is love, when the words pick hatred.
Someone asked me 3 reasons why we should travel.
I offered only one.
To break the routine. To not let boredom settle in. To take the time to reflect.
It breaks your chain of repeated thoughts, and pumps up a series of new thoughts, and that’s beautiful.
Only when you mute the mundane, you get a chance to treasure truer thoughts.
Whenever I feel bad, I ask myself this question: Will this matter 3 months from now?
Our emotions are real. So real that they seem permanent.
But they are not.
Once the emotions are gone and we have given ourselves time and space, will what we are going through still matter?
- Haldirams (Street food) – It is God sent!
- Watching movies on a weekend – We watch a movie for 2-3 hours, every weekend, and that’s it! And it’s fun :)
- Reading my emails – I actually look forward to reading them. I read all my emails. ALL of them. Though I may be respond to a few, it is such a beautiful thing to receive all the love from all of you, and do my little, to help you in your journeys
3 things are not worth losing your sleep on:
1. Investments due to FOMO
2. Binge watching because your friends do so, as well.
3. Someone else’s definition of success
As a startup founder, when you say no to potential customers that are not your customers, you choose to serve your core customers really well.
In friendships, when you say no to things that exceed your boundaries, that is when you nurture the friendship.
As a son / daughter, sometimes when you choose to move out of your parents’ home, you protect the relationship you have with them.
No is not sin. No is not evil. No is not wicked.
No to what isn’t as important, means saying yes, to what’s most important to you. And that’s precious.
Your goal is not to show others that you are better.
Your goal is to become better together.
Once we understand that the loss of one person in any relationship is the loss of both, we stop optimising for “winning” the conversations.
Only when we allow instead of assuming them to follow, we create a mutual win instead of a hollow win.
Don’t try to win conversations.
Try to have one.
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