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We have different experiences with different people we meet.

People help us in trouble.
Or perhaps put us in one.

Embrace the ones who help us.
Let go of the ones who leave us.

Better still, do help them when they need you if you can.
And forgive the ones who put us in trouble. Let them go.

One of the best judgments to acquire is learning to deal differently with different people.
It will decide almost everything we do in life.

In ancient Eastern culture, trees used to be very thick and deeply rooted. It was impossible to cut them.

So, in order to kill them, the villagers used to gather around the trees and call them names. Abused them relentlessly. Kept telling them they didn’t serve any purpose. They were useless. Over a period of a few days, the trees would eventually die.

Sometimes, we end up doing the exact same thing to people

When we bring someone’s morale down, we kill them.
When we tell them they are inadequate and worthless, we kill them.
And most importantly, we kill them when we tell them that they aren’t required.

Eventually, the person dies.

We do not have the power to bring life.
But we do have the power to appreciate that life.

“Not my type!”
“Oh, this one is just like me!”
“It would be difficult to hang around him.”

The mind is constantly labelling people we meet.

However beneath the surface, there are no “types” of people.
They are just being themselves.

What if, instead of putting people into compartments, we saw them for who they are?
Tried listening to their perspective?
Understood their awareness and applied it in our lives?

People aren’t inherently different.
They are simply doorways to learn more about ourselves.

“Waking up early gives me energy.
But my friends are out partying tonight and I do not want to miss the fun.”

“Studying is important.
But this new Netflix series everyone is talking about makes me feel I am missing out.”

“I do not have the money.
But everyone seems to love the new iPhone and I do not want to miss out.”

For everything that we should do, there will always be something that we will miss out on.

The question then is, what is more important?

How will we ever enjoy what we have, if what we have is never enough?

You wake up all of a sudden and catch a thief!
He has already filled up his bags with your stuff.

Would you allow them to carry even a spoon with them? A pen? A small matchstick?
No, right?

Then how is it that someone enters the abode of our happiness, takes it away and we let them?
How is it that people make us unhappy, and we let them?
Why do we give people the permission to decide our happiness?

Our happiness, just like the possessions in our home, is earned by us, is to be protected by us and nurtured by us.

We are both the generators and the guardians of our happiness.

Settle down in life. Or keep changing professions almost every 5-7 years.
Do what everyone else does. Or do what feels right.
GIve away your sleep for others. Or make it a top priority.

Doing what is uncomfortable always feels uncomfortable at the start.
Because what if we fail?

There is temporary discomfort in doing the unconventional.
There is a permanent one in living life as a template.

We don’t choose our parents.
Nor can we choose how they conduct themselves as parents.
Or the repercussions of it.

But we do choose what to do to ourselves, once we are aware of what happened.
We can either blame them for our lives.
Or we can choose to heal ourselves.

Both are going to be painful, but choosing pain to heal is a preferable place to be in, than choosing pain to add to existing pain.

A part of growing up is being able to parent ourselves, if we believe we deserved better.

There are important items in our bucket.

Yet we say yes to every offer that comes our way.
Perhaps we’re scared of what they will think of us.

In that process of committing without thought, the urgent gradually takes over the important.

Leaving no room for us to act on what’s important in the long term.

Say mo.
Polite no.
I’d rather skip this.

They aren’t rude, they are simply prioritising ourselves before we offer to others.

That isn’t mean, rather super helpful for the very few commitments we would offer to work upon.

We teach others how to treat us, by how we treat ourselves. – Oprah

We want to make our best impression.
Give the most meaningful answers.
And make sure the interviewer is happy after evaluating us.

These are the thoughts that are going on in our mind, before appearing for an important interview.

However, the interview is not only for us.
It is also for the company, for us to decide whether it is the right fit or not.

Going prepared with our questions and drafting a resume that shows who we are is as important.

We are going to exchange our time for salary, not our happiness.

A journey in a job is fulfilling only when it is a two-way line, just like any other relationship.

When a baby elephant is born, one of its legs is tied to a chain.
It doesn’t have much strength as a baby, so it cannot break it and run away.

Tired of trying over and over again, the baby elephant finally gives up. It has now accepted this chain as the new normal.

Over some time, it grows up to become an adult, fully mature elephant.
A strong elephant capable of breaking away from the chains that have held it all this while.
However, it still doesn’t break that chain.
It still believes: “I have tried and I haven’t succeeded.. What is the point of even trying anymore?”

And that’s our story as well.

We have become stronger, yet we believe we cannot break past the chain.
We have the power, yet we lack the courage.
We know we can move forward today, yet we decide to live like who we were yesterday.

What if we asked ourselves: “Am I still tied to a chain that I couldn’t break in the past?”

You are one day stronger today. You have the strength. All you need is courage. To break the chain. Of your mind.