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Someone spoke disrespectfully.
They were rude and mean.
More so, they didn’t even realise what they did.

And we felt hurt.
Not just when they said what they said.
But repeatedly after that, thinking of it.

However, they only said it once.
The playing of that audio and video on loop was done by us.

Hurt was not from outside in.
It was a repeated affirmation from inside.

One’s words have the power to hurt us once.
It is the repetition in our head that hurts us over and over again.

You’ve been trying too hard.
Days, weeks, and months – relentlessly.
Still you’re not getting the results you want.

Sounds familiar?
Is every repeated effort of yours a replica of the last effort?

What if you tried different things this time?

Not getting results doesn’t mean giving up on the goal.
It simply means giving up on the current path and choosing a different one.

“Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is insanity.” – Albert Einstein

There’s a group meeting. And you want to share your point.

However, no one really listens. It’s just an endless discussion.

In such times, it’s fun and intriguing how the habit of Hollywood actor, Keanu Reeves, comes to help. 

Whenever someone else is speaking, he doesn’t speak a word. None.
He just listens intently.

And when he does speak finally, his words end up getting more respect and exuberance.

Because he really cares to listen to others, all he gets is the same thing multiplied.   

When we listen and then say something that’s strong and thoughtful, our words end up having more power and respect.

Don’t laugh too hard.
Stop doing that.
Don’t behave like that.
Talk like that. Be this way.

We’re always telling our kids what they should and shouldn’t do. Their life becomes a rulebook instead of a blank slate with infinite possibilities.

What if we taught our kids how to think?
What if we allowed them to create another path, instead of wishing them to walk on a replica of where we went?

The best thing to teach our kids is teaching them how to think.
And then trust them to figure things out.

You want a college senior’s help.
Or you want to reach out to a founder to seek their input on your business idea.
Maybe you want to reach out to someone experienced for just guidance. 

And quite often, we think we do not have anything to offer in return.
But that’s not the truth.
You do have something to offer.

The only difference is, it isn’t in return.
It is in advance.

What you can offer them is clarity on how they can help you.
You may have to research them online.
See what piques their interest.
Think about what you could do to have their attention.

And then, pitch them with your offering and the ask.

If you want to be helped, the best way is to start by helping them understand how.

You want your point to be heard.
After all, you are right. 

The other person also believes the same. 

The reality is that both of you are right.
With a different lens to view the world.

The best way to win the conversation, then, is to listen to them. 

It is in listening to them that we will also feel heard.
Don’t try to win conversations, try to have them instead.

Your colleagues are doing better than you.
The classmate who flunked in school is doing better. 

Everyone’s life seems sorted, other than your own.
And all this makes you worried.
Perhaps jealous of their success. 

But why are we jealous of it? 

Because we are not focused on our own success.
We haven’t found that calm while enjoying our own journey. 

If we are truly focused on our success, we can never be offended by someone else’s.

We are starting something new.

A new job.
A new relationship.
Moving to a new city.
And we’re scared. 

We fear that we might fail.
However, what is it that we are really afraid of? 

Failing, or what will people think of us once we fail? 

All of us fail. All of us are scared of it.
But when we introspect and get comfortable with what will make us uncomfortable in the first place, the failure suddenly doesn’t look scary! 

Failure is a probability of an outcome that will occur. We can’t avoid it.
What we can change is how we deal with it by asking ourselves the question: 

What is it that I am afraid of?

In a job, we often ask ourselves such questions: 

What do I want?
Why am I not being given what I was promised?
What is it that I like doing? 

Essentially, we want our needs to be attended to while in a job. 

However, no company does anything for us; whatever they do is largely for their own good.
If it helps you in the process, great! 

How can one find success working in such a setup?
By asking ourselves a question: “What can I do to be successful?” 

Success at work isn’t about our expectations being met.
Success at work is about asking what is needed to be successful.

You hate your job.
But you have a wonderful family life.
And you tell yourself that your life is balanced. 

But is that even possible? 

Can we be a totally different person in our work, from our personal life?
Is it possible to feel fulfilled with family if our work hours are stressed out? 

Humans do not live in different boxes.
Our life, our happiness (and lack of it) is one indivisible whole.