Words. Wisdom. Winners.

What India’s loss teaches us

India’s loss in the finals was devastating.
But it is a strong reminder of how life works. 

You may win everything leading up to the day that you need to win.
And if that day doesn’t go your way, the world may call you a loser. 

But it’s how you feel within that determines whether you won or not. 

I firmly believe they were the best team of the tournament and it is tragic that we lost.
But that doesn’t reduce them. 

As much as it hurts to not see them win, I hope they feel like winners within.

We certainly see the team that way ??

7 things I wish we were told in our 20s

1. The most useful thing from school/college is not what we learnt inside class.
Instead, it is what we learnt outside of class.

2. Money buys things.
But the bigger (and more important) thing that money buys is freedom.
The freedom to do anything you want!

3. Parents are humans first.
That means they will make mistakes.
They did make mistakes.
And those mistakes costed us a lot.
But we can heal.

4. None of your haters will ever be doing better than you.

5. Whatever you are feeling today, no matter how painful or joyful, will fade away eventually.

6. Real failure, when young, is not failing.
It is getting so scared of failing again, that you stop trying!

7. We have only one life.
We do not have to live it with only one identity.

5 questions to know someone better

1. Pick between speed and perfection. Why?

2. What do you think matters more — the course you study or the institute where you study?

3. If you never had to work for money, what would you be doing in life?

4. What is the worst thing about you?

5. What is the role you play in your friend’s lives?

Life’s worst tragedy is not death

Life’s worst tragedy is what dies within us while we are still alive.

Regret is one such worst form of dying.
We die everyday because of it.

“What if I hadn’t listened to them?”
“What if I had done that?”
“What if I had listened to myself?”

Time goes away and leaves us with either of the two things: regret or results.
I truly hope you optimise your life for the latter.

Set habits, not goals

If there is one book I wish everyone read at least once in their lifetimes, it would be:
Atomic Habits.

Here is why:

Ever since childhood, we are taught to set goals.

Become a billionaire.
Have that startup.
Find a great partner.
Get that year end promotion.
Lose those extra pounds.

All our life is centred on getting to a place.

“Once I reach there, I will be happy.”

But what if you become someone else in the journey of reaching that place?
What if you compromise on your values because you have set a certain goal?
What if you work so hard like Hrithik in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, that you do not have the time to breathe and know your own self?

This is where the book Atomic Habits comes into play.

It teaches you how to show up consistently so that who you want to become becomes a part of your identity, your true nature, that it is impossible to not show up and do the habit.

When you become that person, achieving your goal is a by-product, not something that kills you.

Don’t set goals. Set habits. 

Fun fact: Atomic Habits also happens to be my most gifted book of 2021 and 2022 :)

The solution to overthinking

Imagine your friend calls before an interview, “OMG dude, they are going to love me, fall for my credentials, my experience, my pedigree and I am going to get this job. Money + this brand on my resume. SOMEBODY STOP THIS OVERTHINKING!”

Except, that this doesn’t happen.

What happens is:

?”OMG dude, I can’t stop this overthinking. They are going to reject me. I only have this interview. I already hate my job and if I don’t get this one, then I do not know what I am going to do. And oh, what if my boss finds out that I am interviewing?
I saw someone senior in the company I am interviewing with, who is connected on LinkedIn with my boss. What if they are best friends? What if THAT person interviews me tomorrow and then tells my boss. And then I don’t get this job and my boss fires me as well.
And then Anjali will also leave me. Her dad as it is hates me. Then my parents will insist on updating my profile and OMG, what if they ask me to consider Ritu again? I don’t like her. Oh god – what if I end up marrying Ritu?
Can you imagine having kids with her?”

“Hello, hello. You there? Bhai! HELLLOOO?”

Overthinking is a thing. The next time you have it, before an interview or ANY other life problem, remember this. 

1. We are all hardwired to think more about the bad, than good.

We are all afraid about, “What will Sharma Ji ka beta achieve?” or “Will people laugh at me?”, hardly being aware of the fact that no one is actually thinking of you in the first place.

2. Our mind focuses on possibilities. Not probabilities.

Is it possible that you’ll be fired: YES
Is it possible that you’ll not make it through the interview: YES
Is it possible that you will be poked for someone else’s mistake: YES

However, what is the probability?

Each time we step out, there is a possibility of getting hit by a bus. But we still step out fearlessly, right? How come?
Because our brain knows that the probability of that is low.

That is it!
The way to “solve” overthinking.

Make your brain aware of the probability of what disturbs you! 

Realise you are not alone in thinking of the bad more than the good.
And realise that when YOU are convinced that the probability of that bad thing is low, your mind will automatically be convinced.

3 unusual ways to win at your job

1. Do not engage in office gossip. Ever.

If you encourage gossip on someone else, you will certainly have some gossip around you too.

2. Get to know your colleagues beyond work.

What drives them, what doesn’t.
Who they are, beyond their role and designation.
It will make working with them smoother.

3. Choose to deliver only A-quality work.

Your work is your signature.
So is a lack of good work.

I am enough

One of my favourite self affirmations is “I am enough”. 

However, it suggests I believe I do not have to grow any further.
But that’s not true. 

The actual affirmation is “I am enough, at this moment.” 

It is my way of not blaming myself for where I am.
Instead feeling responsible for what I ought to do.
Which is to keep striving to get better. 

This quote by Sophia Bush beautifully summarises it:

“You can be a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.”

Make this decision wisely

The one decision that will affect EVERY area of your life meaningfully is picking the right partner.

This is because, your partner affects:

– Your financial life:

To have the same financial goals and use money in similar ways makes life less about convincing and figuring out, and more about living it together.

– Your physical life:

Your workout habits, your eating habits, your binge-eating habits, your sleeping habits – all have a direct impact on how you live your life.

– Your emotional life:

Stability in your relationship with your partner will eventually determine how emotionally stable you are in every other relationship you have.

Making this one decision wisely will determine almost everything in your life, meaningfully.
Not to be made in haste :)

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