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Right after a heavy dinner, the worst question to be asked is “what will you have for breakfast” 

You feel shitty right now. Why did I eat so much. You don’t want to have anything for breakfast. 

Come breakfast, you are hungry. And you gorge again. Perhaps feeling shitty again. You completely forgot how you were feeling last night. 

Humans suck at remembering the extent of their emotions they felt in the past. 

Whether happiness or pain

As a founder, the variance of emotions that hit you everyday is massive. Virtually impossible to remember all of them, let alone explain them. 

I have gained a lot by recording these emotions. Everyday, I speak to myself. A voice memo. Answering 2 questions 

What was the overwhelming emotion I felt yesterday?

Why did I feel that emotion?

And every now and then i go back to that day, just as one would to a diary. With the hope that I can still rationalize why I felt the way I did. Possibly learning how to be consistent with my emotions. 

Turning emotions into a habit is hard. 

Which is why it’s worth attempting to do it. 

Am reading a book on the science of happiness. 

It describes an academic experiment where a 4 year old is sitting in a room with 2 adults. 

One of the adult moves out of the room. The other adult places a jar of cookies, which until now was on the table, in one of the shelves. And calls back the first adult. 

An overwhelming majority of kids said that the first adult knows where the jar of cookies has been placed. 

The 4-yr old brain has still not figured that what they see is not always what the world sees. Just because they know doesn’t mean the world knows. 

Isn’t is amazing how as we grow older and apparently wiser, our brains start going back to when we were 4? 

The goal is not to make the world see what you see. And treat it for real. 

The goal is to seek the truth. Doesn’t matter who saw it. 

Yourstory covered the journey from Groupon to nearbuy. 

It chronicles our journey in the past 9 months, from

• 12 cities to 33 cities
• 3 categories to 18 categories
• 100% groupon tech to 100% nearbuy tech
• a zero member tech team to a 75 member tech team
• selling a voucher every 27 seconds to selling it every 9 seconds now
  
• multiple disconnected offices to a collaborative progressive space

The lesser emotion of Pride

For what we have built, for what we have collectively achieved, for the fact that someone independently acknowledges the same

Its a pat on the back for the intense work that has been put in

And we all should pause for a moment and feel awesome at how far we have come

The more important emotion of realism

Only we know what we have been through these last 9 months 

The long days and nights

The question of “are we moving fast enough”

The realization that we moved too fast too soon

The cash conservation steps we took

The moments of doubt, insecurity

All these are not visible in the coverage. 

They are NEVER visible in ANY coverage

Always remember the blood and sweat that has gone into “overnight” success. And never lose sight of where we have come from. Never forget your roots. 

The world will treat you as a success, only when you have questioned yourself every single day on whether you have what it takes to win

Was at the gorgeous Mohali campus this weekend. I love it there. On some levels better than Hyderabad. More so because I see a sense of belonging and ownership within the batch. Hyderabad, always my first love, acts transactional at times. And I am unable to relate to that from 10 years back. 

Startups are like that. People from 5 years back have seen a different side of nearbuy   They have been part of the grind. The recent ones feel that the organization owes them. A lot. When it never did. Never to even the ones that first joined. It just created a world where everyone knew everyone and everyone worked for a common cause. 

Startups will eventually not remain startups. The question is – what do they become? And why? 

I left the batch with 2 important messages. And a student (thanks Gaurav Gupta) was kind enough to transform the into a meme

Ruchi asked me last night – “what was the highlight of the day”. 

It got me thinking. For far longer than I expected. I finally gave her an answer. 

But the answer wasn’t the answer I wanted to give. 

Of course there was a highlight of the day. All days would have one. But was it the highlight I wanted? 

For a long time, we have been asking the wrong questions it seems 

What’s the best thing you have done

What’s the thing you are proudest of 

What’s your most cherished moment 

Which achievement did you have work the hardest for 

All these questions are trying to find what I call “local maxima”. 

It’s a statistical term – and simply put it means picking a small range in a graph and finding the highest point in the curve.

All these questions will of course have an answer. Even the most depressed guy on earth will have a “happiest” moment. The one who thinks he has few achievements will have one that he is proud of. There will be one moment in everyone’s life they will cherish. 

We are trying to find the highs in the range of their own lives. 

There is another concept in statistics

Global maxima

If you look at the curve in its entirety, what’s the highest point. 

Which moment, if created, would you love to have as your most cherished 

Which achievement, if accomplished, would you be proudest of 

What would you love to be remembered as

What would you want your highest point in life to be 

The best thing in your life so far should not be the best thing in your life ever. 

Not the real one (am not judging). 

But the one you get in corporate life. It goes like this. 

A colleague comes up with a problem. Seeking a solution. 

And you give a solution. 

Instantly. Right then and there. 

That instant solution is your cocaine. 

That instant decision making is your drug. 

You love it. You feel good about yourself. You solve stuff. Instantly. With minimal information. You have never said “I don’t know” or “let me think about it” or asked “what do you think about it” or “how would you solve it”. 

You just solved it. You are an instant problem solver. 

Here is the deal with instant problem solvers

They don’t respect their own time. They love the noise or people walking up without notice, looking for solutions. 

And they don’t respect your problems. If they did they won’t have the urge to solve it for you. 

Instant problem solving is cocaine

Cocaine is bad for you. And people around you 

At the gym, on the 12th rep, the trainer asks you to do 5 more

“I can’t do it” 

Your boss asks you to get something done by this Thursday 

“I can’t do it” 

Your friend asks you to sing a song for her on her birthday 

“I can’t do it” 

Someone you know is planing to go to the Everest base camp this year

“I can’t do it” 

The statement is a lie. The biggest lie ever told. 

It’s a proxy for “I am not willing to put in the effort to make this happen” 

The next time around, don’t use your capability as an excuse. 

Capability is rarely the question mark in life. It’s always intent. 

Vulnerability is the state of being open to injury, or appearing as if you are. 

My Failure Resume generated some heart warming reactions. What I didn’t expect (but was hoping for) was that almost none of them were about “omg, you have failed so much and yet succeeded. That’s so awesome”

Instead, it was “it’s powerful to see someone like you making themselves vulnerable” 

I do not recall the phase of life that turned me comfortable with being vulnerable. I wasn’t so always, not even close. Not completely, even today. 

But I do know that the act of standing naked in front of others, knowing very well that you have nothing to hide anymore, is liberating.

One, it removes all pretense. You don’t have to remember what you said or showed to someone. 

Two, it makes you work harder. Because now everyone knows what you know. You can’t win because you know something others don’t. 

Vulnerability is a hard thing to get used to. Once you get used to it, chances are you wouldn’t know any other way. 

Be genuine

I was driving with a friend. And were stuck in a jam. In true Delhi style, the car behind didn’t seem to care about the jam. He owned the road and wanted to tell the world. So he kept honking incessantly. 

We were moving at a slow pace. Had we been still I would have stepped out and given him 30 seconds of free counseling. 

As soon as the road cleared, I gave him way. Because I had a point to prove. 

Now he was ahead of me. The power equation had tilted. I was in control now. I started honking incessantly 

My friend, a mute spectator until now, remarked, “there is no difference between him and you now”

He was right!

When trying to prove a point, don’t become them. 

“Now you know how it feels” is almost always the worst way to make someone realize their fault.