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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
Life lessons
I turned 39 some days back
Here is what I have learnt from life, while living it
- Nothing pisses the world off more than you being comfortable with who you are
- Watching your kids grow up is heart breaking. Everyday they lose a bit of their innocence and become just as corrupt as we all are. That’s a precious life going away. One day at a time.
- Money buys freedom. Freedom is a privilege
- Listening to someone without judgement is the most precious gift you can give someone
- Risk and failure is a state of mind. There are no measurement scales for them. We create them. So we can destroy them too.We are not naturally trained to love ourselves. Learning how to do so is this journey called life
- You can neither chose your parents nor what they end up doing to you psychologically. Be prepared to heal yourself, if you have to.
- To not have a plan and be ok with it, is the best plan. It will take everything to get to that point.
- The world is designed to make our lives comfortable. Avoiding the comfort trap is the difference between who you are and who you could have been.
- No one owes you their time and money. And you don’t owe anyone either.
- Losing your temper is a sign you have a long way to go.
- If you are comfortable dancing in public without alcohol or drugs, you are at peace with who you are.
- The world will always keep you in the news if you do the unexpected. No one covers the expected. No one cares.
- The easiest way to learn from mistakes is to read books. The next option is to commit them yourselves.
- Being in control of your time is being in control of your entire life. There is nothing else worth controlling.
- Do not try and remember anything. Write it down. Keep a calendar. Free your mind from tasks.
- Resisting the obvious is a great way to change your orbit. If you do what everyone else will do, you will end up as everyone else.
- The world will constantly be defining success and failure for you. Realizing this is what is called self awareness.
- The years during which you work the hardest with nothing to show will be the years that will build you. Those will also be the years the world will not acknowledge you.
- Compounding is the biggest miracle of life. Founder dilution also is, in a bad way.
- The world fears the person who doesn’t fear anything. But it’s scarier for the world to face someone who embraces fear.
- Holding a grudge against someone requires a lot of effort. Think of all the wasted time spent being mad at someone.
- You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. Being responsible for yours is as it is tough.
- Being grateful in life for what you have, is precious.
- Complaining has never ever got someone to the solution.
- Working out teaches you discipline and patience like few other things do.
- You outgrow relationships. And when you do, don’t be ashamed to move on.
- The most dangerous people are those who run away from change. They are also the most energy sucking.
- Being good at something and being happy doing it are two very different things.
- People would much rather work for a competent asshole than an incompetent nice guy.
- The purpose of school is not to teach you subjects and concepts. It’s to teach you how to drop your ego and learn as a student. That’s why life is also called a school.
- Don’t ever fool yourself to believe you deserve to be where you are in life. You are just plain lucky. Born into privilege, love, care and shelter. Sitting on opportunities that people smarter and more hard working than you do not get.
- Spend time with people who are not like you. You don’t want your world to create a bigger version of you. You want it to create a better version of you. That happens when beliefs are challenged and debated.
- Destiny is what happens to you. Life is how you chose to react to it.
- Would you be friends with your own self? Would you marry your own self? Would you be your own boss? What version of you would you much rather not be? Why do you still be that version?
- True respect is when people know everything about you and still respect you. To get respect from a distance is easy. But that isn’t respect. It’s infatuation.
- How you treat someone who has nothing to offer, defines your value system. Your values don’t help you grow. But in times of shit, they hold you together.
- Empathy cannot be taught. Either you have it or you don’t. And if you don’t, compensating it by intelligence doesn’t help. Best is to remain an asshole.
- The hardest thing in the world is to tell yourself that it’s not hard at all.
- You will get what you seek. Not what you desire. Not what you dream. What you seek. Fervently.
Stay awesome
Stay blessed
Do epic shit
The market
Entrepreneurship is a great leveler. Perhaps the best one out there!
When was the last time you bought a product because the founder went to a prestigious school?
When was the last time you referred a product because the founder had been struggling for 5 years?
When was the last time you bought a product because the founder was unable to raise money and had to lay off people?
When was the last time you bought a product because the founder had raised millions and had a fancy office?
No one cares a fuck!
No one gives a fuck about who you are!
The market is the market.
It wants a product that works for them.
And if it does, it will reward you.
If it doesn’t, it wouldn’t even acknowledge your presence.
Most people are not used to this!
They have gotten past a lot of things in life because of where they came from, what they did in the past, who they know, where they studied.
And all of this does work for a lot of things in life
Rarely works as an entrepreneur
Sachin Bansal’s tweet speaks of this
“Success has a thousand fathers but failure only belongs to the founders.”
There isn’t any other way.
The failure is the founder’s
And you should know that before you decide to become one!
Do become one though :)
#startup #entrepreneurship #entrepreneurmindset
The thing about help
Assume your car is broken down. You are trying to get people to stop and help you, but no one is stopping.
Left with no choice, you begin to push your car now. All of a sudden, there are several people who stop to help you with that.
(An alternative rendition from something Chris Rock said)
Help, come to think of it, is a wonderful thing.
People, even unknown to each other, would put themselves through varying levels of discomfort, to get something done for someone else.
However, it’s conditional.
People will want to help you only when they see you making an effort.
And that means, before we begin to ask for help, we have to start helping our own self.
Helping ourselves is the easiest way to attract help from others.
We all change
People were asked how much would they would be willing to pay to see their favorite band perform live, 10 years from now.
The average was $127.
People were then asked how much would they pay today to see their favorite band from 10 years back, perform live.
The average was $80.
We are all told that to progress, we need to keep changing.
The truth though is that, we all change.
We just don’t know it.
We think who we are today, is who we are likely to be for a long time.
And yet, when we look back we see that that’s not the case.
We are all a result of subconscious change.
It’s conscious change that sets us apart.
Can you teach it?
We usually think that the true test of whether we know something or not, is to answer questions on the topic.
Do we know enough, deep enough, when we are quizzed on the subject?
The way that works though is our mind can play tricks on us quite easily. It can “create” stuff on the fly, that sounds smart, is convincing and more than anyone else, tells us that we know it.
The true way to know if you know something, is to teach it.
Help someone else creates notes on it.
Train someone else on it. And in a manner so powerful that they can train someone else as well.
A teacher is always greater than a speaker!
Ever tried firing your friends?
Here is an unpopular opinion – just as we make new friends we need to fire old ones as well.
When we make friends, it is close to guessing. Guessing how the person might turn out to be, how the friendship will pan out, how much will you grow in the relationship.
And as it happens, some of our friendships truly work. And some don’t.
It also happens, that we out grow some friendships. We stop to relate to them anymore.
And we still continue with them.
As if we are doing someone some favor.
Rarely recognizing that there is more damage in the process.
There are “friends” who pull us down.
There are “friends” who discourage us.
There are “friends” who don’t inspire us.
There are “friends” who are shallow.
There are “friends” who aren’t truly friends.
Fire them!
Because when you hired them, it was guessing. You didn’t know any better.
Firing comes from a point of knowing. You now know who they are.
Want to know what kind of a CEO will you be?
Its fashionable to start up today. To be a young CEO. To become an entrepreneur. To carry a “I’m CEO, Bitch!” business card.
To my readers in India, you quite likely already run a company.
It’s called your home.
It generates an income (your salary). It creates a product (you). And you employ people who help you run this business – your help. Your maids, servants, drivers, guards, delivery boys – all are your employees.
And if you want to know what kind of a CEO you will be in real life, just see how you treat these employees currently.
If you have high attrition and your maids/drivers leave you within weeks/months because of lack of trust/respect/fairness – then its quite likely that’s the kind of CEO you will be.
And if you have loyal, deeply engaged employees, who don’t have to be told what to do everyday and who are not driven just by money, then you know what kind of company will you create.
Entrepreneurship is real life. And that isn’t distinct from how you live your life.
You either lead. Or you follow.
You either lead.
Or you follow.
The path where you try to second guess, where you use hope as a strategy, where you want to prove that you were right, or want to prove the other person was wrong. That path is wrong.
The path where you want to first lead and then follow. Or first follow and then lead. Where blaming others is always the easy way out, or citing lack of guidance is your excuse. That path is wrong.
The path where you always lead because you are a leader. Or you always follow because you have to follow. Where you don’t ever challenge yourself to find the other side. That path is wrong.
That path is collapse.
What you could have done…
Whenever you wonder about all that you could have done, it futile.
You can’t do it anymore.
And no amount of thinking or regret will change that.
Here are better questions to ask
What stopped me from doing it? (And do those things still exist in my life?)
What was it that I didn’t know back then? (And I know today?)
Regret will keep you in the past.
Reflection will bring you out of it.
Energy
To change any state of matter, energy is required.
That’s the law of thermodynamics that governs the world.
And that includes humans as well.
For us to move from one state to another will require energy.
For us to move from happiness to sadness or vice versa,
For us to move from risk aversion to risk friendliness and vice versa
For us to move from autocracy to democracy and vice versa
Will require energy
Mental energy
And mental energy drains us faster than physical energy
We give up much earlier than our bodies do
We resign to our circumstances much earlier than our muscles do
No wonder then – the world is collectively talking about work life balance.
Because the one at work is a different person than the one outside of work.
And that shift of state sucks is out of energy.
Thus the need to “balance”.
What we should really aspire for – is to work at a place where we can be who we are in real life.
If the state of matter continues, energy is not lost.
Do everything possible to find environments that do not change your state.
Instead, amplify them!
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