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At the age of 14, I started preparing for engineering exams, only to realize I just could not manage my time.

Worse, I had NO CLUE why.

If someone asked me – what are you busy with the entire day, I would not have an answer.
So I decided to track my time.

Every hour of my day was recorded.

Just this act of measurement, led to the act of improvement.
Because for the first time I knew where my time went, why it went into that and how it made me feel.

I continued this for 13 more years (until 26).

You don’t have to do this for 13 years. Please no!

Do it for 10 days and you will see the difference in how you manage your time and work.

You cannot improve anything that you do not measure.

“Work for them before working for them”.

Instead of showing what you can do, or have done, assume you are working for them and do the work.

Send them that work. Or just share it online.

I came across a beautiful post on Instagram and had to share it with all of you.

Ask your mom these 7 questions:

1. What is the happiest memory you have about me, from the past?

2. What, according to you, is the best thing I have done for you?

3. What are the most beautiful and the most painful things about growing old?

4. How was the first year of your life after you became a mother?

5. Is there something you have kept a secret from me all these years?

6. What do you want the most from your children?

7. When you are gone, what is the one thing you want me to always remember?

As I reflected on these 7 questions, two things dawned upon me:

How little do we actually know of our parents, as a human.
How rarely do we have true and meaningful conversations about them.

I am guilty of the above too and I want to spend the rest of my time with my parents changing this.

I hope you do too, before it’s too late.

1) What are the things that I WANT to do?

These could be anything – do not put any constraints as yet. Do not think of whether you will get it, whether it’s the right thing for the future, or whether you are qualified. 

No constraints. 

Just a list of all the things you want to do. 

2) What is stopping me?

This is where the constraints are listed. 

It could be your capability, it could be your parents’ permission, it could be lack of opportunities, or it could be the fact that it doesn’t make enough money.

It could just be your mind tricking you that you can’t do it. 

Whatever is stopping you from doing it – figure that out. 

3) Which of these are in my control to fix?

THIS is the clincher. 

This is where you transfer control – from the world to yourself. 

YOU ARE IN CHARGE. 

Not your circumstances, your family, or the world. 

Which of these constraints are in your control to fix?

And you know what? You will realise that there are only so many things in your control. BUT if you were to take control of them – you will actually be ahead of most people in the same boat who want to do the same thing but never start. 

1. Attendance is compulsory

It’s not the attendance, but the attention that is an important factor in the growth of the student’s life. 

2. Your degree is your identity

Your degree is not your identity – what you do with that degree eventually becomes your identity. Those experiences, learnings, and lessons become who you are.

3. College is not only about earning a degree and getting a job.

It’s also about getting experience, exposure, and the opportunity to work on yourself, network, and get internships. 

It’s a journey to find yourself and understand what you really want to do in life.

1. You don’t have to DO things with each other.

You’re happy sitting in complete silence, if you’re just together. 

2. You focus on the cause of the problem.

If there’s a time when things aren’t right between you two, you choose to focus on the cause of the problem, and not who caused it. 

3. You’re happy with their successes.

You know that your success lies in their success and you’re genuinely happy for them. 

Anytime you find yourself losing hope, go and sit down with your parents.

“Ma/Papa – tell me about a time when you had lost all hope. And you still came out of it?”

Their eyes will light up.
Your hopes will light up.

1. Listen to your favorite music
2. Take a short walk
3. Talk to a friend
4. Sleep it out
5. Breathe 

Remember, whatever you are feeling right now is temporary.
It will fade away. 

Your emotions are temporary.
Do not make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.

The person who makes ?3 lakhs per year, but only needs ?2 lakhs to be happy, is wealthier than the person who makes ?10 lakhs, but needs ?20 lakhs to be happy.

“Vidur, what’s the best gift mumma and papa have gifted you?” 

2017.

It was going to be Vidur’s 6th birthday in May. 

He rarely behaved so, but this time he wanted a gift.
A cycle. 

There was one problem though. 

We didn’t have the money. 

All of 2016 and 2017 had been a hard time for nearbuy, the startup I was running. 

We had burned through a lot of cash, with not much success.
For no fault of theirs, 80 folks had been laid off.
To conserve cash we were also going through a founder pay cut. 

With my single income less than our monthly expenses, we had been dipping into our savings for the past year. 

I had taken personal loans, maxed credit cards, and was down to 3,000 rupees in my bank account. 

I felt like an absolute failure.
Correction.
I was an absolute failure. 

I had let down my employees, my investors, my founders. And now my family. 

My 6 year old was requesting for a cycle on his birthday, innocently unaware of our financial reality.
And we couldn’t even afford that. 

Ruchi suggested we sell her gold bangles, which will generate enough to buy the cycle and have some surplus. 

We said yes. 

While Vidur was away at school, we went to buy his cycle.
Brought it all the way up to the living room. And hid it. 

When he came back home, we surprised him with it.
He broke down.
I don’t think he expected it. 

We broke down as well.
We didn’t expect it either. 

We were all crying, him with happiness, Ruchi and me at our state. 

July 2017 

Uzma was born. She brought us luck. 

By August, Paytm agreed to invest in nearbuy. 

By December our income matched our expenses. 

June 2018 

As part of a school assignment, Vidur was asked to answer a question. “Vidur, what’s the best gift that mumma and papa have gifted you?” 

We expected him to say the cycle. He desperately wanted it. 

He replied, “Uzma”.

We all broke down.
He, with gratitude.
We, embarrassed of ourselves. 

The only gift that kids ever wanted, that we wanted too as kids, was love, not money. 

The only gift we still want is love. 

If we don’t get it, we think money will fill the void.
But it doesn’t. 

Seek love. Embrace love. Explore love.