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It is not you who changes your environment.
Your environment changes you.

That is why it is critical to pick the right environment.
Or move away from the wrong ones.

This applies to every aspect of life.

College.
Work.
Friends.
Partner.
Family.
Relatives.

Everyone is carrying a burden.
We just see ours.

Be kind to people.
Be kind to yourself.
Always.

I am a game builder and I have created a whole new game for you.

Here is how it works.

Each time you play, there is a 90% chance that you will lose!
Yeah, you heard that right – 90% chance that you will lose.
BUT – the amount that you lose, is capped.
YOU WILL NEVER lose more than a certain amount, which is known to you already.

No matter how much you bet, the loss is always up to a maximum loss. Never beyond that.

10% of the times that you play this game, you can win.

And when you win, you can win BIG. There is no upper limit. You can win infinitely. More than you ever needed in life.

In short, 90% of the times you lose with a maximum loss (you will not lose beyond that), and 10% you win with no maximum gain (you can win any amount – no upper cap).

Here is my question for you.
How many times will you play this game?

Here is my answer.
?Every single day of my life!

?If I know that my loss is capped but my gains are infinite, I will play this game as many times as I can, to get to that 10% win probability.

This, my dear friend, is the game of life.

If you are reading this post, you understand English, are most probably consuming it on a smartphone, so you can afford it and also have access to high-speed internet.
What this means is that whatever risk you take in life, your loss is capped.
WHATEVER risk you take – you are NEVER going to lose everything.

We are all privileged. We are never going to die of hunger or poverty. We are never going to be there on the streets.
Our losses are capped.

They are notional in our head – what will people say, I will not have as much as others, others will make fun of me.
These are not losses.
These are feelings.

Our actual loss in life is capped – whenever we take any risk.

But if we win, IF WE WIN – we can change our entire life!

If this is truly the game of life, I would play this game again and again and again and again and again and again!

Would you?

“If I were in the panel, I would never shortlist this resume.”

With that, he dropped my resume, the corner of which he had been holding with his thumb and index finger.

The single page resume floated in the air, before landing on the pristine wooden table.

What could I have said at this moment?

January 2005
Taj Palace Hotel, New Delhi
My interview for ISB

It was my first time entering the grand Taj Palace in Delhi.
As if the nervousness wasn’t enough, the grandeur of the place left me overwhelmed. 

I felt small.
A harsh reminder that I wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place.
Applying to an MBA program that preferred 2 years of work experience.
Real-life experience.

I had none.
All I had was a drop-out status.
And a confused state of mind.

My name was called out.

I open the door, to enter a large boardroom.
In front of me are 3 gentlemen.
Sharp suits. Cheerful faces. They looked smart.
Or maybe that’s what I thought everyone from ISB looked like.

Was I even a fit?

They introduced themselves.
2 alums and 1 from the administrative team.

They ask me for my resume.

I had a colored resume.
Blue.
And it had a footprint, as a background.

“Why does your resume have a footprint?”
“Because it was my print on the sand I have walked on?”

I thought that was a deep, smart answer.

“Good thought. But most likely will not work in a corporate setup.”

Oh! There is something called a corporate setup? 

They asked me about my US experience, why I dropped out, what did I learn there. 

And then came the question.
“What would you like to do, post ISB?”

“I honestly don’t know. I am hoping I will figure it out through the year. My peers, professors and the setting will expose me to a lot more than I know today.”

“But still, what are your preferences?”

“Ummm – I really like numbers and I am good with them. So maybe, finance?”

“If I were in the panel, I would never shortlist this resume.”

The admin team member had the corner of my resume held with his thumb and index finger.
He made this remark, raised it above his head, and let go of the resume.
It came floating down, landing on the wooden table.

Which gave me 2 seconds to digest what just happened.

“In that case, I am happy that you will not be part of the panel.”

WTF! Was that rude? Too direct? Unnecessary? Cocky?

He smiled.
I heaved a sigh of relief.

3 weeks later, I received the email :))

ISB took a bet on me.
I had nothing to offer.
And I, till date, do not know why it chose me.

That 1-year just changed my life.
It changed everything about me.

Because while I went to ISB looking for a job and a career and a salary and a brand and a position and all the nice things, I went to ISB looking for myself. 

Who am I?
What am I good at?
What am I not good at?

And the ISB opportunity gave me those answers. 

Some people work hard to get the opportunity.
Some work hard once they get the opportunity.

5-step process to remember everything you read in a book:

1. Reading on a Kindle

When I read a book, I highlight a lot.
A LOT. 

Anything that catches my attention, intrigues me, fuels my curiosity.
Sometimes entire pages.

2. Exporting the highlights 

What I love about this is that I do not feel the pressure to finish a book.
Whatever I read, however much, has takeaways in the form of these highlights. 

I will then export these highlights into a pdf and email it to me.
Kindle allows that.

3. Sit with the highlights

I now have my own summary of the book. Not crowdsourced. Personalised.
After a week, I sit down with this pdf for 15 mins. And ask myself one question:
“How can I apply this to my current life?”

4. Report progress after 30 days

After a month, I would sit again for 10 mins (doesn’t take longer) and see how, if at all, any of the new paths led to some revelations. 

Maybe I agree with them more.
Maybe I realised they don’t work for me. 

This check-in is critical.

5. Create a re-read list 

Basis the impact and resonance I felt, I add a book to my re-read list, which means I will read it once every year.
These are phenomenal books (for me) where each time I pick them up I have figured something new that has helped me.

There is a twist though.
The re-read list at any point cannot be more than 12 books. 

So if I want to add to it and I already have 12 books, one book has to be dropped. This keeps me honest with the quality of this list.

This 5-step process has helped me assimilate most of the knowledge I can derive from books. 

It has also made me appreciate the power of books.
How, at the cost of a pizza, I get to download someone’s entire life and learnings!

I recognize this process seems too dependent on a Kindle. 

The Kindle just makes the job easier. But the process can very well be done with a physical book too. 

5 signs of a job worth staying in:

1. You are respected for who you are.
2. There is acknowledgement of what you do.
3. You are rewarded for how well you do it.
4. There is growth while you do it.
5. You are mentored when you lose track.

1 sign of a toxic job:

You dread going to work everyday.

When I started working out 11 years back, my instructor told me 2 things:

Never close your eyes, even if in intense pain.
Always look in front. Never down.

It was later that I realised he wasn’t talking about working out.

He was talking about life!

Everyone out there seems to have an opinion on you.
What you should do.
What you shouldn’t.
How you should live your life.
And how you have messed it up already.

The world doesn’t require another template.
It requires another rebel. 

Be you, anyway!

1. The 30-day rule

When you desire a big purchase, do not buy it right away.
Give yourself 30 days and ask yourself if you still want it just as much as you did earlier.

If you do, go for it.
Chances are you won’t.

2. Keep a gratitude jar

Everyday, before going to bed, write down something that you are grateful for.
Anything at all.
Place it in the jar.

3. In moments of weakness, go through the notes.

Always ask “by when do you need this?”

Whenever given a task, even if an order, always check for the deadline.
Very often we have a different definition of urgency in our minds.

Trust is magical, especially in trust-deficient societies.

If you are not used to being trusted, and people trust you, it does wonders.
And the opposite is also true.
If you show people that you trusted them, and they let you down, they rise to the situation a lot better.

I deploy this as a leader.

Whenever any of my team members does anything that defies our agreements, I do not reprimand them. Because there is no point in doing so.

I instead tell them, what I truly believe:
?”I trusted you. And you let me down”

Nothing works more effectively than hearing this.
Nothing makes them harder to never repeat it, than hearing this.