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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
HuhCorp…and DuhCorp…
I submit….this is the best consulting firm ever…
www.huhcorp.com
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Livemint.com covered SecondShaadi.com yesterday. Nicely done.
http://www.livemint.com/2007/07/04154115/Paradise-Regained-Tying-the-k.html
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~a
its an ‘almost’ adults blog…
so…its official…your eyes, as of this moment, are witnessing an above 17 blog..! if i hadnt used shit 21 times…or ass 8 times…or my fav word gay 5 times…or omg the friggin adult word slap 4 times…things would hv been very different…
this basically means that if my kids were to be gay…they would ofcourse use the word ass a lot…and will hv to be born 17 directly..!
CRAP..!!
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SecondShaadi.com has generated a lot of press interest..! I had PK calling me frantically informing me of the Indian Express frontpage..! and a google search on SecondShaadi generates quite a few results..!
We are very close to 1,000 profiles now…23% of these are females..and only 15% of these are never married. Which basically proves that the site is automatically attracting the right audience…
BTW…did you know that India apparently has the lowest divorce rate in the world..at 1.1%
but we still believe that the idea will work…! it will…
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am in manali this weekend…nowhere compared to mussoorie…! will post some snaps…
~a
boss…mumbai mein ek hi airport hain…
8.30am
Friday
Mumbai Airport
tringgg tringgg…
hello
haanji sir…u hv reached
yes yes…where r u…?
at the exit itself…should i go and fetch the car…?
yah yah..plz do…where should i wait…
i will come where the laal peeli start
(figuring out where that is)…alright…i will wait…
After 10 mins
where are you boss…?
sir…right there…can you see the 2 media vans…right behind that…
boss…there are no media vans that i can see…where are you…?
sir…just where the passengers get out…am on the road…directly opposite…
i dont see you dude…ok…am standing right infront of the premium parking
ok..i have gone ahead of that…will come back after taking a round…
another 10 mins…
boss…its been 20 mins…where the f r u…?
sir…right there…premium parking…
yaar…either i am blind…or you dont know the airport well…are you at the jet arrival terminal
sir..i have been coming to the airport for the past 15 yrs…
you are at the domestic airport…rite…?
haan sir…are you at the right airport…
boss…mumbai mein ek hi airport hain…
MUMBAI…???? sir…i am in delhi…!!!!
WTF…!!!!
so…this friday morning…i spent 30 mins of my life trying to convince someone in delhi…that he is in mumbai…!
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but i give it to mumbai..! cant repeat it enough..but this was my first rendezvous with prime traffic in mumbai. it took me a mind numbing 2.25 hrs to reach the airport frm nariman point. a whole 2 hrs…! in the cab..! hands numb…mind zonked…life paralyzed..! i shudder to think the potential loss in national income that happens in the city cause of simply being on the road driving…when you could easily be working and far more productive than listening to radio mirchi and “pal pal pal frm munnabhai” for the godforsaken 586976th time..!
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VP and I finally launched our site. We have been working on the plan for the past 2 odd months…! its completely VP’s baby and I am simply an external advisor devoting time towards the strategy of the product over and above my fulltime ATK committments. Its been a fantastic ride so far…and atleast for me last thursday, when the product was launched, was a special moment.
for VP though…having handled the complexity of www.desimartini.com already, this was jst another site..!
our business plan…a matrimonial site specifically targetted at remarriage.
www.secondshaadi.com
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my routine browsing this afternoon took me to this show called ‘Britain’s got talent’…and a certain Paul Potts. at the end of his performance…i was sobbing like a 5 yr old…jst couldnt contain myself. i hv figured that singing has a spiritual connectiong with me. ever since i went to the US…music has become my meditation. unfortunately…my voice can allow me to appreciate it vocally…but i remember when i spent simple hrs…jst listening to music with tears in my eyes…!
this was yet another instance…and totally deserved…(in my limited capacity)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDB9zwlXrB8
Life’s really good right now…
~a
shootout at lokhandwala…
good acting….tight storyline…no time wasted in unnecessary details…not many songs…(can they please do with none!)…and if you ignore the sequence wherein sanjay dutt says no to the bullet-proof jacket when there are atleast 100 rounds being fired at that precise moment…the movie was overall quite good…
but the real question lingered…especially once i saw the parting comments…
- crime in mumbai declined by 70% in the 2 yrs that the ATS (anti-terrorism squad) was in operation
- it was abolished in Jan 1993
- dec 1993 were the mumbai blasts…
the real question…is an encounter a preferred way of handling terrorists, even when you have caught them alive…precisely because their relationships with the ‘decision makers’ will ensure that they are out on the street the very next day….
personally…i am in favor of the theme…jackshit to human rights and jazz…! they didnt show any mercy when dealing with their business…and we will show none instead…
but am sure the arguments will challenge my chain of thought…let them come if you have any…
~a
crap…where did the month go….
no seriously…where did it jst go.
shit loads has happened in the last month…and each time i reached out the the laptop to blog about it…darn…forget it…how am i kiddin… i jst didnt feel like writing…thts it….! :)
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Media and Entertainment totally sucked me in last month…work was awesome…and painful…long hrs…no social life…weekends jst went by trying to think of how i cud hv used them better….and weekdays jst didnt exist. as my Gtalk status once said…”its like pregnancy…lots of pain but you like what comes out in the end” (courtesy PM)
but tht was then. things changed last week….when we met the client…and he was like…superb…sold…very well done…why dont u start working on the vision now. think of something that has never been done before…
and we were like…WTF
now dont get me wrong…these vision-mission stuff are good…companies hv survived on them…and am sure bal thackeray had one too when he ordered his warriors to storm cafes in protest of orkut…! but after 6 weeks of high rigor…and market interviews and business modelling and what have yous…when one asks you to start thinking of vision…it sucks…
or in other words…the phase of ‘intellectual masturbation’…begins…
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was reading a newspaper article on the environment day. if the screw up that we humans indulge in isnt enough…the paper had conducted a survey…with some startling results…
witness this…
Q. A shower for 5 mins consumes more water than a bucket of water
a certain section of society (naming them cud hv a bal thackeray lookalike run after me…and i am too young to die!) had 55% replying yes. which is good…! however…45% said no…! whattttttt?????? half the population in that particular area thinks that a bucket of water and a 5 min shower are equal..?????
i really hope that their showers are the ancient ones…u know th sorts wherein some shit dirt particle has blocked all but one pore in the shower..!
there is more…
Q. Brushing your teeth with running water consumes less than a litre of water
55% yes…45% no…and you know what. THE SAME FRIGGIN SECTION…!! what retards live in this world that believe this shit…and screw not jst their life but the rest of the world’s too….and then if the government says that we are raisin water bills…go on a violent bandh….kill some people…and continue to bloody brush under running water..
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but then the government is not the best either…
a hate community on orkut gives some bastardos the right to barge into cafes and destroy private property. and if that wasnt enough…the government sets up a committee to decide whether orkut should be banned or not..
why dont we do something simple. create a separate world for them. i know of some reclamation experts…who can easily recreate land on water. there is lots of space in the arabian ocean. lets jst build a sweet sexy world…where guys and girls are never together…15th feb comes right after the 13th…there is no internet and thus no hat communities…and oh…a news channel that always talks of the indian cricket team winning…so as to keep them under control. now that would work..
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and hey you guys…tell me something…whenever you apply for a competitie examination…do you call yourself ‘general’ category…? how are you sure..? can you show me a certificate proving that you are general…! if not…i suggest that you pick up the nearest kerosene tank…and burn your neighbour’s cycle. control dude control…the bus will be next…but jst practise before…!
everyone is fighting for a community status dude…i think we should too..!
what…what…national damage…? social inconvenience..? death…? dude…what are you…a moron..??? jst call some news chanels later and ask for an apology. over..!
and hey…if any news channels attempt to cover your violence…dont feel ashamed..! smile right in the face of the camera…
there…now u deserve the general status…jai hind..!
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strange thing happened today…was on my way back home talking merrily on the phone…when the traffic cop stopped me. now…i admit…my car is a traffic cop’s dream come true. i always talk on the phone…(its a long story why i dont use a handsfree…but hey…am still a nice guy!)…hv dark tints…and play decently loud music.
and plus…i am an honest tax-paying citizen
so this guys stops me…and starts off…2K for cellphone…2K for tints and 1K for pollution certificate. am keeping ur RC…plz come and pay this at the traffic center within 15 days….
whooaaa….hold on mate…! so first…show me the fine sheet…tht states the amt…
he didnt hv tht…
ok…fine…i will trust u on the amt…and am ready to pay it right now. give me the receipt for tht and let go off my RC
no sir…cant do…u hv to pay at the center. we dont accept challans here. this is not haryana law. i will hv to keep ur RC.
give me the number of ur ACP traffic..will ask him abt this law.
dont hv…cant share…
show me ur ID card
haryana govt stopped issuing them in aug 2006…
which means that i too can wear the same shirt / trouser as urs and start collecting moolah…
what do u mean moolah…u think we are here to take a bribes something…
oh u r not…great…so either u take the entire challan right now and give me the receipt..or u jst get the big shit out of my car…
i wont…
fine…let me take you to the traffic headquarters there…we will discuss the matters there…
ok ok..leaving…but get these tints off in 2 days…
Conclusion:
1. Most of these guys…i was later told by a frnd…do not position themselves on the location they ought to be. which is why they dont have those challans books with them. So always ask for their ID…always ask for the challan…and plz use bribe as the last resort…not the preferred one..
2. I did commit a mistake…and i ought to have paid. but i didnt…! and i cudnt care less…because of the way he conducted himself…! dont if i am wrong here…comments invited…
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went to naukuchiatal for the weekend…fantastic lake place 25 kms frm Nainital in North India. stayed in an awesome private cottage…and had a much needed break.
here are some snaps…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/warikoo/sets/72157600321509929/
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will be back soon…surely within a month…
~a
spiderman…media and entertainment…and ofcourse…"yeh hai meri kahaani"
i remember this intense conversation PM and i were once having. actually all our conversations are typically intense…which start with me asking him what he does for a living…he cursing me to no end..then trying to explain…and then end with me asking him to marry me..!
so…abt this one conversation…he told me tht i sucked as a blogger. ofcourse this was his personal opinion and am sure that the 2 regular readers of this blog would defend me to no end..! he felt that my blog was inward looking….you know…the sorts which are like…”yeh hai meri kahaani”….i got up…and work is happening…and did i tell you of when i was 6…and then i fell in love…and oh i am getting married…etc etc…
he preferred the outward looking ones…the sorts tht spoke of world issues. ofcourse humor was almost sacsocant…and thus to be used in an honorable manner….i cudnt really understand what he meant when he spoke of humor and honor in the same breath. oh btw…what do u call a sardar who lives underwater…!! Jal-andar singh…!! HAH…! wait wait…there’s more…what do you call a sardar who lives and breathes under water…! Jal-andar singh GILL…!! wasssuppppp…!!
yah so…i really dont know what he meant when he spoke of humor to be used in the ‘right’ fashion..
i agree with him though…abt the inward bit…i do…! which is when i told myself….alrite dude…lets not jst look at the world…(which i do almost to the point of being anal!)…lets hv an opinion abt it too…and let the world know of the opinion. ofcourse to make it humorous…i turned to anecdotal posts…! stories…of my mundane life…experienced by me…but never talking abt me…rather the experience..! it cud hv been anyone…
i admit..at times i had to think really hard to come up with these….which made me doubt the sheer intention of it. was to please someone…or to express myself. i didnt really know the answer…but loved doing it nevertheless…cause it was a form of expression nevertheless….!
and jst when i was on a roll…friggin work came in between. as of this precise moment…i am an i-banker when it comes to hours…and a consultant…when it comes to pay..! and a complete bastardo when it comes to blogging…
that my friends…was my brief explanation for the increasingly increasing duration between subsequent posts..! thank you…
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just came back frm spiderman 3. its awesome. i mean…if the goblin wasnt enough…we had new goblin…who basically confused in life….is a loser as it is…and if tht wasnt enough the director decided to give him memory loss.
and then a superduper sand man…who basically cud be destroyed by water….yet somehow managed to cry…and am sure he did pee at times as well..!! imagine what you mst go thru when u know tht each time u pee…u r getting an inch closer to death. and god only help u if u had tht ugly burger on the beach tht evening…and went down with some loose motions the next morning.
so anyways…yeah…there was the sandman…! and then some freaky dude…who am sure was supposed to be an extra in the movie to begin with. but the director made the mistake of capturing him too many times in the 1st half….! he took advantage of tht and held the team to ransom…”give me a better role else i will not act in the 2nd half”. ofcourse the character cudnt be jst killed (which btw wud hv made the movie a trifle easier on the head)…and he was afterall jst a crappy actor…so they made him a freaky villian. a monstor actually…! who cud be destroyed by the sound of church bells. ladies and gentlemen..the ramsey brothers have finally got their worth. finally a demon tht is scared of god-stuff…such as the om pendant..or the cross pendant…or the trishul…or simply the hanuman chalisa..!!
but the real villian was spriderman himself. he becomes greedy in the movie…u know…lalchi sorts..! suddenly loves all the admiration…so starts making guest appearances at road shows…! jst like priyanka gandhi…oops…vadra…!! (forgiveness my lord…oops lady)
its 2.45 hrs long….exactly a minute after death happens…to the audience…!
its a crappy movie…plz dont go..!! esp if u like spiderman…plz dont..!
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am currently working in the media and entertainment sector…and its a friggin awesome place to be in. the industry is mindblowing…to say the least. there is so much of stuff happening…tht one cant even see on the surface…! fragmented to the core…unorganized to say the least…and has so much of potential. some awesome trivia…
> India has 13,000 movie screens. PVR…the largest integreted player…owns 70.
> Home Video and TV accounts for 75% of a movie revenue in the US. 7 friggin 5 %…!! no one there watches films in the theaters..! come to think of it…i went for a film show only once in 2 yrs..when i was there…! and i guess the only ones who go are desis..!
> The entire global movie industry is USD 92 bn. Walmart revenues last yr were 349 bn..!
> You know who owns ESPN. Walt disney..!!!
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life will take me to mumbai next….! jet airways…here i come…!! spidermannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
~a
to the class of 2008…wear…sunscreen….!
when DM was promoted to principal earlier this year i remeber him telling me…
“as a manager i got to know your batch closely…cause i was involved with the day-to-day activities of the engagement. however….yours will be the last batch i shall know directly. cause now…as a principal…i will be ‘away’…”
that how i felt when the new batch of ISB came in…at some level i would always be away…
i do know some guys in the batch…and have a lot of expectations from them..more so since they happen to be from my high school…! but 4-5 in a batch of 430 doesnt shake a mountain…
anyways…
To the batch of 2008…(with a high probability that most will not even know of this site’s existence!)
this year is going to be something you could have never imagined…
…a ride that will leave you exhausted…and craving for more…
…dont let go off it…at any time….
…and wear sunscreen…
~a
association…
i am a sucker for relationships…and i have always told my mum…never fret over anything that can be bought by money. always regret relationships that you havent worked on…
after almost a month…it is these emotions that compelled me to write. (un)fortunately…this wont be an anecdote…surely wont be amusing…so there…dont tell me tht i didnt warn…
the ISB current batch graduated yesterday. a sad feeling…because i know this will be the last batch that i will ‘really’ know..! and it was nostalgia for me. not just memories of my time…last year…and the sheer deluge of emotions that i faced..it was also the association that i had built with the batch ths year. i am sure i wud be known as the alum who was on campus every friggin month…(yes…i still work for ATK…yes…they still pay me!)
made some really lovely friends…got more respect than i deserved…but most importantly…never felt alien in the batch. i may not know everyone…but always felt home…! the people were all lovely…atleast infront of me..! and i felt at home also because i had spent one of the best years of my life at the very same place…
and then today received the CD for the play that the current batch had towards the end of the year, from SS. friggin hillarious stuff..! it was so awesome going back to those times…and its these times when you realize the imprint you have had…cause of your actions. in your head everything is all fine…cause it was you yourself who enacted the ‘real’ moments. but…as is always the case…people dont have it all figured..! and thus is created a multiple image profile of the same person….
maybe this multiple image profile allowed me to be different people to different set of individuals…
…maybe this was the basis of my association…
…not just this batch…but my own as well…
ISB Co2007
thanks for being you….i loved every bit of interacting with each one of you…and you shall remain as a special memory…
feeling very nostalgic today…missing the moments…! cause i know it wont be the same again…
life moves on…
~a
the good part about not bloggin for a while…is that you get a feel of your fan following…!
…1 girl reminded me that i used to blog…
…my viewership has dropped 50%…
…i received 37 (yes…thats friggin THIRTY SEVEN…) anonymous comments…in a single day…and some 150 in the past month…”great site you have here…btw check some lesbians babes…and hey…while you are at it…hv u heard of viagra and turkey as a tourist destination…??”
i am actively considering selling my blog to google…!
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so my client was narrating his india trip the other day. went to mumbai for some business meetings and the first day was pretty tight with multiple appointments. the flight arrives at 8.30am and its only an hr to the first meeting. so DB tells the driver…”boss…drive as fast as you can…its crucial for him to reach in the next 45 mins…”
now you know how indian drivers are….either they drive at 40 and not an inch more….or if told otherwise…they forget that cars are made of materials that can crush humans….! see…here is my point….dhanno from sholay was the only friggin horse in that scene. so wouldnt have bumped into another…and crashed….and lost a leg…and her tail for life..! but mumbai….DUDE…! you drive at 60 only if you are on top of another driving at that speed..!
anyways…so this driver pays ample attention to the instructions…and makes his way through the traffic…! lo behold…he does manage to reach in time…
client is happy…impressed..! he calls DB and goes…”this guy was fantastic….! he took me through all these shortcuts and small roads…and heck..there was traffic…but hey…he managed perfectly..”
DB is clueless…”shortcuts…?? small roads..??” he talks to the driver…khuspus khuspus…and then comes back to client….
“ummm…well…those are the mumbai main roads…!!”
i rest my case…! arguments plz..???
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Dubai is inshallah coming to an end….! been a terrific time…! jst finished with a great piece of work…and its amazing how much one learns about an industry one was clueless about…jst 8 weeks back..!
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clicked this on the Delhi Metro sometime back. Really neat way of reminding the consumer who you are…
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890417/
another click…though unrelated…
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890368/
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life’s good…in all dimensions..!
~a
client situation #615
scheduled for 11am…we reached at 10.40 itself..! i would want to believe that whats i always do…if it wasnt for the cute secretary. its the smile that kills…always the friggin smile….
and then…when the dude has worked for some 18 odd years…why do they develop such a high respect for time. i mean..if the meeting is scheduled for 11…and 2 young consultants are having a happy chat with your secretary..why the hell do u have to come out of your cabin at sharp 11..!!
anyways…so whatever…! 18 yrs of experience…senior guy…! we got his time after multiple visits to the office…and it was only 30 mins. had the make the most of it.
so we start….and he is answering. the setting is quite corporat-ish..! you know…the table that can contain half the earth on it…and there is one old dude on its north. and 2 black-suited morons at its south. if both of us were to lie down and i were to hold on to his feet…we wud still need another body to reach the gentleman.
and whats with these chairs??? who do we hv to sink…and take ‘comfortable chairs’ to an all new level. not to mention tht the arm rest will rise up to half your thigh…! so u friggin need a forearm of shaq ‘o neil’s height..!
10 minutes into the interview…! the answers r stunning….i mean…experience oozing out..!! fantastic perspective.
beep…
its his phone…
he starts off infront of us itself. goes on and on..in some god damn vernacular. i cant figure shit…so am jst thinking of what next to ask. the interview seems too high a priority to spend time concentrating on something tht wud take an eternity for me to crack..!
“sorry gentleman..had to take this call..! please…lets continue”
the next 15 minutes flow smooth. good questions…equally brilliant answers…!
“thank you Mr X for your time. We really appreciate this”
“oh no…not a problem at all. I hope I was of help…! some tea?”
“So where are you guys from..?”
“OH i am fromt Delhi. stayed all my life there.”
“and you…?”
“I am from kerela..”
now…not that i want to…but i have never seen a person die of shock. i hv seen some bit of it in the movies..but thats all abt it. and i am told that the person freezes…! i mean…he jst becomes a statue.
yeah…on second thoughts…i did maybe see someone die of shock tht day…
“Kerela…??? So you can speak malayam…???”
“yes…i can…”
“OH I AM SO SORRY….I AM SO SO SORRY…I DIDNT MEAN IT…I REALLY AM. I JUST DIDNT MEAN IT…I AM…OH NO…GOD…SORRY…REALLY SORRY…”
“its ok…ok..not a problem at all..”
i am perplxed..!! what in friggin world i happenin. why is tht dude atleast 3 bodies away from us apologizing. and why is this super stud friend of mine acting as if he is jesus…out to forgive the world..! I have no friggin idea…i mean…NO IDEA….FRIGGIN..!!
we step out…and i am like….DUDE…WHAT JUST HAPPENED..??? WHY WAS HE ACTING LIKE THAT…
“remember the call…! he was speaking in malayalam. with someone frm home…i am guessing…”
“…and…???”
“…well….if i recollect correctly he said….these 2 f****** r wasting my time right now…moronic questions…thinking they r too smart..! I will make sure Srini doent grow up to become up…! friggin useless bunch of expensive furniture…”
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ISB recruitments in full swing. had gone down this weekend…to a fanstastic time. took 5 super studs…great bunch of people. the tension on campus was scary…! all i could do was go back in history and laugh at my state back then. it all seems so miniscule…so irrelevant…now…
great learning…
~a
PS: OK…alright…this wasnt me…! A colleague..!! But heck…story writing is fun..! :)
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