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We are constantly fighting for something.
With someone.

Fighting with our parents, our siblings, our boss.
Trying to convince them that we are right.

And that they are wrong.

Defeating them, however, is easy.
Winning over them is easy.

What isn’t easy, though, is to win them. 

Real victory is not in winning over people.
It is winning people over! 

“I want to move on.
Want to forgive them.
However, I don’t want them back in my life.
Is that possible?”

After career advice, this is the most frequently asked question I get.

Most people believe if they forgive someone, it is also permission for them to come back in their lives. 

The two needn’t happen together. It is your choice.

You can forgive someone and still not give them access to your life. 

Forgiving and moving on is important.
So are your boundaries. 

And you can have both.

If we truly love someone, we would never call them a failure.
No matter how they had tanked at something they were enthusiastic about.

We would rather appreciate them for the relentless effort they made, how they overcame their fears, and the fact that they shipped instead of waiting for perfection.

Then how is it that we do not love ourselves enough to have a similar conversation, when we fail?

How would that change things? 

Failure is something we cannot control.
The conversation we have after that with ourselves, is a choice. 

There is a way to avoid failures and rejections altogether.
By not trying in the first place.

The result: no failure, no rejection.
And lifelong regret.

Failure is an answer.
Rejection is an answer. 

Regret is a lifelong question you will never have an answer to.

How do we truly know what it is that we value?

The thing that is most important to us.

Whether in our relationships.
Whether in our work.
Whether at our company.

It is the thing we measure frantically.

If we measure sales, as against customer success, then that is what we value.
If we measure bank balance as against time spent with family, then that is what we value..

Anything that we measure the most, is what we value the most.

When do we feel bad?
Almost always because of an external trigger – circumstances or people.

When do we feel good?
Almost always an internal trigger – something we have done or felt. 

If both statements hold true, how is it that we feel bad more often than we feel good? 

If feeling good is within our control, why do we allow an external stimulus to make us feel bad? 

If we do not want anyone or anything to make us feel bad, especially when we don’t want to, we have to allow ourselves to be happy whenever we want to. 

You’re loving your journey.
Working hard.
Making remarkable progress. 

You can see it.
Everyone else can see it.

And then you see, there’s someone else more successful.
Getting more accolades than you. 

Does that suddenly make you feel that your success is lesser? 

Does that make you doubt your own self?

And perhaps your wonderful journey so far?

To not be insecure of someone else’s success and finding security in your own achievement, is the biggest achievement.

The place you were born?
The place where you stay?
The place you go back to?
The place where your family is? 

Is home a place?
Or something deeper?
An emotion?

Home is where we belong. 

Home is where we would never want to run away from.
Home is a vibe where we could be us, without any masks that we are supposed to wear.
Home is not just a place of four walls. 

It’s an abode where all walls collapse.

Clicking pictures of food.
Sharing the best vacation pics.
Getting more likes and comments.

Society has conditioned us to believe in this definition of happiness.

However, does this really make us happy? 

Or is it a dopamine boost that we get while being appreciated by people, who hardly know us?

True happiness is being able to enjoy what’s truly important. 

The nature.
The feeling of looking at the people we love the most.
The joy and responsibility of knowing that there are kids who look up to us to show them how the world works.

Your happiness is priceless.
Not putting a price tag of external validation to it is the most valuable thing for it.

You do not like your job.
And you want to change it.
But you have spent years doing it.

Won’t all of that go to waste?

That isn’t the right question to ask.

Instead the right question is: “If I don’t make the move I want to make, what about the years ahead that would be wasted?”

The time spent commiting a mistake isn’t time wasted.
The realisation that it is a mistake stops it from getting wasted.