Words. Wisdom. Winners.

The importance of help

08th April 2022. 

I was about to finish my Instagram Live session, when I invited Ankan to come live with me.
He was a 10th class student from West Bengal.
And he was struggling to pay his school fees, because of which he might not be able to sit for his exams.

I offered to help him with his school fees.

The expression on his face was priceless. He couldn’t believe it.
I, honestly, was quite emotional as the session came to an end.

Seeing someone struggle so hard to fulfil their desire to study, is heartbreaking.
It was a harsh reminder of the privilege me and my family enjoy, where we take such things for granted.

A few months later, I got the wonderful news that he cleared his class 10th board exams, securing 91.4%!

The power of help is beautiful!

Help, because you can.
Help, because it flows forward.
Help, because you too will need it one day.

6 habits for the rest of your life

1. Sleep 7+ hours
While it’s “cool” to skip your sleep, our brain’s most development happens only when we sleep. 

2. Eat healthy at least 3 times a day; avoid sugar/fried
You won’t see the effect of junk food on your body in your 20s, however, it starts hitting badly once you hit your 30s.

3. Read 15 minutes every day
One of the life changing habits for me!

3. Exercise/Walk 5 times a week
In a healthy body lives a rich mind. Period.

4. Do nothing for 5 minutes everyday – no phone, book, music, person.
Just you, sitting by yourself.

6. Schedule distraction time (of an hour) in a day for social media.
It helps you not get attracted to that “forbidden fruit” and actually look forward to “wasting” your time!

What India’s loss teaches us

India’s loss in the finals was devastating.
But it is a strong reminder of how life works. 

You may win everything leading up to the day that you need to win.
And if that day doesn’t go your way, the world may call you a loser. 

But it’s how you feel within that determines whether you won or not. 

I firmly believe they were the best team of the tournament and it is tragic that we lost.
But that doesn’t reduce them. 

As much as it hurts to not see them win, I hope they feel like winners within.

We certainly see the team that way ??

7 things I wish we were told in our 20s

1. The most useful thing from school/college is not what we learnt inside class.
Instead, it is what we learnt outside of class.

2. Money buys things.
But the bigger (and more important) thing that money buys is freedom.
The freedom to do anything you want!

3. Parents are humans first.
That means they will make mistakes.
They did make mistakes.
And those mistakes costed us a lot.
But we can heal.

4. None of your haters will ever be doing better than you.

5. Whatever you are feeling today, no matter how painful or joyful, will fade away eventually.

6. Real failure, when young, is not failing.
It is getting so scared of failing again, that you stop trying!

7. We have only one life.
We do not have to live it with only one identity.

5 questions to know someone better

1. Pick between speed and perfection. Why?

2. What do you think matters more — the course you study or the institute where you study?

3. If you never had to work for money, what would you be doing in life?

4. What is the worst thing about you?

5. What is the role you play in your friend’s lives?

Life’s worst tragedy is not death

Life’s worst tragedy is what dies within us while we are still alive.

Regret is one such worst form of dying.
We die everyday because of it.

“What if I hadn’t listened to them?”
“What if I had done that?”
“What if I had listened to myself?”

Time goes away and leaves us with either of the two things: regret or results.
I truly hope you optimise your life for the latter.

Set habits, not goals

If there is one book I wish everyone read at least once in their lifetimes, it would be:
Atomic Habits.

Here is why:

Ever since childhood, we are taught to set goals.

Become a billionaire.
Have that startup.
Find a great partner.
Get that year end promotion.
Lose those extra pounds.

All our life is centred on getting to a place.

“Once I reach there, I will be happy.”

But what if you become someone else in the journey of reaching that place?
What if you compromise on your values because you have set a certain goal?
What if you work so hard like Hrithik in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, that you do not have the time to breathe and know your own self?

This is where the book Atomic Habits comes into play.

It teaches you how to show up consistently so that who you want to become becomes a part of your identity, your true nature, that it is impossible to not show up and do the habit.

When you become that person, achieving your goal is a by-product, not something that kills you.

Don’t set goals. Set habits. 

Fun fact: Atomic Habits also happens to be my most gifted book of 2021 and 2022 :)

The solution to overthinking

Imagine your friend calls before an interview, “OMG dude, they are going to love me, fall for my credentials, my experience, my pedigree and I am going to get this job. Money + this brand on my resume. SOMEBODY STOP THIS OVERTHINKING!”

Except, that this doesn’t happen.

What happens is:

?”OMG dude, I can’t stop this overthinking. They are going to reject me. I only have this interview. I already hate my job and if I don’t get this one, then I do not know what I am going to do. And oh, what if my boss finds out that I am interviewing?
I saw someone senior in the company I am interviewing with, who is connected on LinkedIn with my boss. What if they are best friends? What if THAT person interviews me tomorrow and then tells my boss. And then I don’t get this job and my boss fires me as well.
And then Anjali will also leave me. Her dad as it is hates me. Then my parents will insist on updating my profile and OMG, what if they ask me to consider Ritu again? I don’t like her. Oh god – what if I end up marrying Ritu?
Can you imagine having kids with her?”

“Hello, hello. You there? Bhai! HELLLOOO?”

Overthinking is a thing. The next time you have it, before an interview or ANY other life problem, remember this. 

1. We are all hardwired to think more about the bad, than good.

We are all afraid about, “What will Sharma Ji ka beta achieve?” or “Will people laugh at me?”, hardly being aware of the fact that no one is actually thinking of you in the first place.

2. Our mind focuses on possibilities. Not probabilities.

Is it possible that you’ll be fired: YES
Is it possible that you’ll not make it through the interview: YES
Is it possible that you will be poked for someone else’s mistake: YES

However, what is the probability?

Each time we step out, there is a possibility of getting hit by a bus. But we still step out fearlessly, right? How come?
Because our brain knows that the probability of that is low.

That is it!
The way to “solve” overthinking.

Make your brain aware of the probability of what disturbs you! 

Realise you are not alone in thinking of the bad more than the good.
And realise that when YOU are convinced that the probability of that bad thing is low, your mind will automatically be convinced.

3 unusual ways to win at your job

1. Do not engage in office gossip. Ever.

If you encourage gossip on someone else, you will certainly have some gossip around you too.

2. Get to know your colleagues beyond work.

What drives them, what doesn’t.
Who they are, beyond their role and designation.
It will make working with them smoother.

3. Choose to deliver only A-quality work.

Your work is your signature.
So is a lack of good work.

I am enough

One of my favourite self affirmations is “I am enough”. 

However, it suggests I believe I do not have to grow any further.
But that’s not true. 

The actual affirmation is “I am enough, at this moment.” 

It is my way of not blaming myself for where I am.
Instead feeling responsible for what I ought to do.
Which is to keep striving to get better. 

This quote by Sophia Bush beautifully summarises it:

“You can be a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.”

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