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This is one of the fondest memories of my childhood.

My Sanskrit exam was in a week.
And I was certain I would fail the exam.
Our teacher was so boring. Uninspiring.

Ma saw that I was scared.
She wrote a letter requesting the daughter of our temple priest to tutor me.
She had a Masters in Sanskrit.

I topped the exam!

It turns out that a good teacher can change your life.
And that good teacher needn’t be found in school or college.

One of the big mistakes people make while seeking out help, is being disrespectful of people's time.

"I want to be respectful of your time so I will keep it short. I am confused about my career and don't know what to do. Please help."

"I am looking for help to connect me to investors. Attached is my business plan. Let me know your feedback"

Both these examples lack empathy. They make it hard for people to help them.

Because in order to help them, they will have to spend time understanding the context, synthesizing it and then figuring how they can be of help.

Not something most people will do.

The best way to get help is to make it easy for people to help you by being specific.

Find the manager who saw your errors and still chose to trust.

Find the investor who saw you fail and still chose to support.

Find the friend who saw your ills and still chose to love.

Find the partner who saw the worst of you and still chose to stay.

Could happen in a professional relationship.
Could happen even in a personal relationship.

As difficult as it may seem, start with stopping to blame.
Neither you, nor them.

Till the time we keep pointing fingers, we won’t get centred.
It would simply compound our misery.

And when we stop pointing fingers, ask ourselves: “What is this trying to tell me?” What is this situation trying to tell me? What can I know about myself that I didn’t know before?

The best thing that comes out of a bad experience are great lessons.

Why do we make kids mug up information?
What is the outcome of this?

What if we taught them the uniqueness they possess?
That there is sheer joy in being themselves without any pressure.
That there is a brilliant opportunity of creating anything we want.

That there is power in letting ourselves evolve into whatever we want.

Here’s a small yet effective three-step formula to learn anything.

Observe: When we see others doing something, our brain creates a picture of it.

Do: Execution is the mother of motivation.

Teach: The teacher never forgets. Sharing what you have is the best way to keep it with yourself forever.

When I tell people that Ruchi (my wife) and I had a long-distance relationship for 2 years when I was studying in the US, an obvious question is "How did you two manage?"

And the answer - as crazy as it may sound, is in part - "because we spoke only once a week".

You see, I think a big reason why relationships are hard and have become harder, is because the two individuals are perpetually in each other's face!

Today's technology allows for that.
WhatsApp, video calling, social media, location tracking - it seems wonderful, isn't it?
Until it isn't.

Before becoming a partner to someone else, we need to become a friend to ourselves.

And that means, distance.
Distance helps.
It helps us process what we go through and what we went through.

When I was in the US in 2002, none of this technology existed.
Calling was expensive.
I could only afford a 30 minute call once a week.
So that was what it was.

Every Thursday, I would call Ruchi on her landline.
And we would talk for 30 minutes, through a calling card.
Which meant there was no "speak to me for 5 minutes more".
In 30 minutes, the call would disconnect.

So we were focused.
We cherished those 30 minutes.
It was all we had.

So we didn't engage in random chatter.
That was the time we caught up on each other's lives.
And it was the time when we had to be careful of what we chose to share.
Because time was precious.
It was our currency.

Our next opportunity would come after a week!

Imagine if that was the case today.
Imagine if all you got was 30 minutes with your partner every week.

How differently would you act?

Would you still engage in that useless fight? Pick up that unnecessary argument? Lose your patience over that random person you felt threatened by?
Or would you do everything to make the other person feel loved? And cared for? And heard?

Just because you can speak to your partner every second, do not.
Just because you can connect with them on demand, do not.

Give yourself the space to long for them.
For them to long for you.

Do not misuse the privilege you have.
Do not waste a relationship because technology made it easier to start one.

Relationships still need to be built.
Build one!

We want to be accepted for who we are.
To be loved despite our flaws.
To be loved unconditionally by everyone - partners, friends, family.

But do we offer them unconditional love?
Or does our love come with a bag full of conditions?

How will we ever receive anything good if we don’t offer it wholeheartedly ourselves?

The best way to be unconditionally loved is to love unconditionally.

Recall the time when we asked a question in class and our teacher dismissed it as a stupid question?

Suddenly we felt alone.

The entire class laughed at us.
We felt the teacher doesn’t like us anymore.
We wondered why we asked in the first place.
The best thing would have been to shut up instead.

So, that’s what we did.

We stopped asking.
We stopped questioning.
Instead, we focused on memorising answers.
Answers that helped us score in exams.

Today, as adults, we have trained ourselves to not ask.
Just to answer.

What we do not realise is that the only way to grow in life is by asking questions.
To never ever stop your curiosity.
Especially because of what we think people might think.

That’s the way I have grown.
And I love this way of growing :)))

I tried JEE twice.
Didn’t clear it.

Tried IIT again for MSc.
Didn’t clear it.

All these times it seemed like the end of my world.
It wasn’t.

That exam, that job, that relationship, that target, that goal.
That isn’t the end of your world.