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How do we respond when we are hurt?
Do we blame the person who did that to us?
Or carry the baggage of that hurt forever?

Here’s a simple question to ask:
“What is this trying to tell me?”

We’d probably get nowhere getting to the root cause of hurt.
However, understanding the lesson behind each hurt and failure grows us tremendously.

When hurt, ask for the lesson. Not the reason!

We’re entering the elevator from the 10th floor.
Have to go to the 20th one.
By mistake, we pressed the ground floor button.

In the haste to correct that mistake, we instantly press that 20th floor button.
Forgetting that the elevator will go to the ground floor first.

It doesn’t care about our mistakes.

What if we remembered this while making mistakes in life?
How would our actions change when we knew there’s time to rectify the mistake?
Would we do anything different if we knew there was no need to hurry up?

Probably, we’d help ourselves from making another one.

We always have time to correct the mistake after we’ve made it.
Trying to correct it immediately is another mistake.

We work really hard.
Give up on all pleasures.
Sacrifice valuable family time.

All in order to get to our goals.

Unfortunately, sometimes we are not able to make it.
Our dreams are shattered.
So does our hope go for a toss.

And sometimes, we do achieve our goals.
Of all the things we had been struggling hard for, one day they become a reality.

And when they do, we find ourselves asking the questions:

Now what?
What’s next?
Is that all how success feels?

Not getting to life’s goals is tragic, however, getting there is equally tragic.

When the ink in the pen gets over, we keep the pen under the tap to clean it.

And that’s a messy process. Ink all over. More than you thought there is.

However, after that, the pen is absolutely clean.
Ready to write again with the newly-filled ink.

Any clean up process in life will be messy.

But as much as we would want to avoid that mess, it is only after that mess that we will see something more beautiful emerging at the end.

It is not the mess during a clean up that we should fear.
It is avoiding the mess that we should fear.

You see a video and feel inspired.
What if you hadn’t seen that video?

You read a book and feel inspired.
What if you hadn’t read the book?

You meet someone and feel inspired.
What if you hadn’t met that person?

When we leave inspiration to chance, it leaves all those things that depend on our inspiration to chance as well.

What if we made inspiration a discipline?
What if we showed up to it daily instead of serendipity to bring it to us?
What if that consistency made it impossible for inspiration to escape us?

Inspiration isn’t just a choice.
It’s a habit that shows up when practised daily.

He was the topper of our school.
The teachers loved him.
The kids adored him.
And that included me as well.

He was tall, really tall.
Maybe 6’2″?
And he had really long hair.
Which, I thought, added to the enigma that he was.

I remember one day, I asked him, “How come you have such long hair?”
It was a stupid question.
An excuse, frankly.
To speak to him.
He replied, “In the time I go to the barber’s shop, I can complete one more chapter for the exam. So I don’t bother.”

I remember, standing there stunned, in awe.
Admiration.
So busy with pursuing his goal that he couldn’t care less about these trivial things in life.
THIS IS SUCCESS, I told myself.

And for the next decade, I followed that definition of success.
Being busy. Being productive. Ignoring the trivial things in life.
Blocking my day, every single hour.
As if I wanted to impress him – my invisible teacher.

And then the definition of success changed.

For the next decade, I spent all my time with people, as a leader, a manager.
Trying to help them get better at their work.
Their trivial things became my job.
That became my success. Their success.

Today, I don’t want to be busy.
Boredom gives me joy.
Looking at a free calendar gives me joy.
The trivial things give me joy.

It is okay to have a definition of success that keeps changing.
While the presence of success or the desire of it can be constant, its definition needn’t be.
It’s okay if it changes for you.

What is NOT okay is to know that something is not your success anymore, and yet continuing on the path.

You are jealous of how much they earn.
The vacation they took.
The home they bought.

We are jealous of what others have and we don’t.

And we tell ourselves, “If we somehow could get what they have, life would become better.”

But that isn’t true.

Because we don’t just get part of someone’s life. We get their ENTIRE life.

The stress.
The lack of privacy.
The constant scrutiny.
The intense pressure.

People’s lives are not modular. We can’t choose the parts we like.
If we are jealous of them, we should be ready to take on their entire life.

As a kid, we may not be given everything.
Maybe we didn’t have all the love in the family.
Maybe we did not go out like all other kids.
Maybe we were denied that shiny lunchbox.

However, what we got was something more special: the ability to appreciate everything.
And when we did get everything that we couldn’t as a child, it made us realise its value even more.

Not having everything is the biggest luxury of childhood.

When something bad happens, everyone says they’re in a lot of pain.
However, this pain that you are going through — only you can truly feel it.
No one else can.

Only you know what’s going on with you.
Everyone else sees the world through their own biased lens.

It is your pain.
It is your journey.
And it is only your understanding.

Social media.
Junk food
Video games
Alcohol
Drugs

Are these the biggest additions?

We are not addicted to these things.
We are addicted to the feelings that these things generate.

And all addictions generate a feeling of comfort.
Which makes us numb.

When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with failure.
Instead we get comfortable with what we have.

When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with risk.
Instead we get comfortable with safety.

When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with challenges.
Instead we get comfortable with appreciation.

The biggest addiction is comfort.
Because we don’t change and challenge ourselves anymore.