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Managing our time, having a great attitude and unlearning and learning every day is wonderful.

However, what makes us indispensable is how we manage people (including ourselves).

Everyone is from different upbringing, different belief systems and a different approach to life. 

They offer us a new challenge everyday. 

If there is one person who benefits the most by dealing respectfully with them, it is us!
It’s hard, it requires emotional labour. 

However, that is what humans are – not a piece of code, rather, a unique permutation and combination to solve for.

Knowing ourselves is important.
Understanding others is priceless. 

I often talk about the fact that we are the stories we tell ourselves.

There is, however, a corollary to that.

A king returned to his palace one fine morning after his morning walk in the jungle. Upon reaching the palace, he discovered that his horse was lost.

He immediately sent his minister to search for the horse in the jungle. The minister saw a blind man outside the jungle and asked him, “Hey you blind man, did you happen to hear the sound of bells around a horse’s feet? Did a horse pass from here?”, to which the blind man replied, “No, I didn’t.”

After the minister didn’t return, the king sent his viceroy next. 

The viceroy saw a blind man outside the jungle and asked him, “Hey you blind man, did you happen to hear the sound of bells around a horse’s feet? Did a horse pass from here?”, to which the blind man replied, “No, I didn’t.”

Finally, the king took matters in his own hands and headed for the jungle. He saw the same blind man and asked him, “Hey Mahatma, did you happen to hear the sound of bells, indicating that a horse passed by?”, to which the blind man responded, “No His Highness, I didn’t!” 

Perplexed, the king asked him, “How do you know I am the King?”
“Through the words you used for me,” came the succinct response.

The stories we get to hear are the stories we tell others.

In Abilene Paradox, a group decides to do something that no one in the group wants to do because everyone mistakenly assumes they’re the only ones who object to the idea and they don’t want to rock the boat by speaking up.

Strange how much of our life is driven by simply fitting in.

Not speaking up is wise, if it is just to speak.
However, it isn’t wise not to voice our concerns, if only we wonder what others would think

Sometimes, speaking up helps someone else as well, along with your own voice being heard. 

“Oh, he’s pursuing music after engineering.
Look, she quit her job for creative pursuits.”

Whenever we get out of our comfort zone to pursue what we want, the mind subconsciously starts thinking what others would think.

In doing so, we start neglecting what’s most important: what we really think and want.
The chatter of critics starts taking over the voice of intuition. 

Thinking is powerful. If someone else’s thinking could affect us to such an extent, imagine what our own would do!

The brain could play cool tricks on us.

In order to look smart, it would want to remember things.
Perhaps it doesn’t want to give away power to the notebook.

However, when we note things down, a remarkable thing happens: the brain gets its freedom.

Freedom to think.
Freedom to get bored.
And freedom to wander around for new ideas.

In the pursuit of trying to hold on to remember things, it never knew how powerful it was.

Thus, noting down things is an act of power, not that of a lousy brain.

How will the brain work on growing the wisdom it needs to, if it is busy working on remembering things it doesn’t need to?

One, inspiration for work.

If we wait for inspiration to get work done, we would hardly get it done.

Creativity is, instead, a process.
If we show up and do the work, creativity will show up as well.

Two, inspiration while dealing with life, aka motivational quotes.

People believe they are bookish.
That they don’t work in reality.

Except that they do.

They are the roadmaps and mental models to help us think right.

In their absence, we would be working hard on the same situations over and over again.

Quotes provide a structure.
And perhaps change our lives :)

Don’t wait for inspiration to work. But do the work on your inspiration.

Our friends and family.
Our colleagues.
Our acquaintances on social media. 

We love to keep everyone happy.

If they aren’t happy, that’s because of us.

“I should not have said that.
I am not balancing work and family.
I am responsible for their sadness.”

Except, it’s false. 

No matter how much we “sacrifice” for someone else, happiness is always an inside job.

“Not my type!”
“Oh, this one is just like me!”
“It would be difficult to hang around him.”

The mind is constantly labelling people we meet. 

However beneath the surface, there are no “types” of people.
They are just being themselves. 

What if, instead of putting people into compartments, we saw them for who they are?
Tried listening to their perspective?
Understood their awareness and applied it in our lives?

People aren’t inherently different.
They are simply doorways to learn more about ourselves.

“Waking up early gives me energy.
But my friends are out partying tonight and I do not want to miss the fun.”

“Studying is important.
But this new Netflix series everyone is talking about makes me feel I am missing out.”

“I do not have the money.
But everyone seems to love the new iPhone and I do not want to miss out.”

For everything that we should do, there will always be something that we will miss out on. 

The question then is, what is more important? 

How will we ever enjoy what we have, if what we have is never enough?

We are with friends. Yet we feel bad at the end of the conversation.
They care for us. Yet something doesn’t feel right.
We are there for them through thick and thin. Yet we don’t see them happy when we are.

Too often, we are surrounded by beautiful toxicity in the form of friends.
People who are there for us sometimes, yet make us feel bad every time.
People who are themselves, yet never respect us for who we are.