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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
to the class of 2008…wear…sunscreen….!
when DM was promoted to principal earlier this year i remeber him telling me…
“as a manager i got to know your batch closely…cause i was involved with the day-to-day activities of the engagement. however….yours will be the last batch i shall know directly. cause now…as a principal…i will be ‘away’…”
that how i felt when the new batch of ISB came in…at some level i would always be away…
i do know some guys in the batch…and have a lot of expectations from them..more so since they happen to be from my high school…! but 4-5 in a batch of 430 doesnt shake a mountain…
anyways…
To the batch of 2008…(with a high probability that most will not even know of this site’s existence!)
this year is going to be something you could have never imagined…
…a ride that will leave you exhausted…and craving for more…
…dont let go off it…at any time….
…and wear sunscreen…
~a
association…
i am a sucker for relationships…and i have always told my mum…never fret over anything that can be bought by money. always regret relationships that you havent worked on…
after almost a month…it is these emotions that compelled me to write. (un)fortunately…this wont be an anecdote…surely wont be amusing…so there…dont tell me tht i didnt warn…
the ISB current batch graduated yesterday. a sad feeling…because i know this will be the last batch that i will ‘really’ know..! and it was nostalgia for me. not just memories of my time…last year…and the sheer deluge of emotions that i faced..it was also the association that i had built with the batch ths year. i am sure i wud be known as the alum who was on campus every friggin month…(yes…i still work for ATK…yes…they still pay me!)
made some really lovely friends…got more respect than i deserved…but most importantly…never felt alien in the batch. i may not know everyone…but always felt home…! the people were all lovely…atleast infront of me..! and i felt at home also because i had spent one of the best years of my life at the very same place…
and then today received the CD for the play that the current batch had towards the end of the year, from SS. friggin hillarious stuff..! it was so awesome going back to those times…and its these times when you realize the imprint you have had…cause of your actions. in your head everything is all fine…cause it was you yourself who enacted the ‘real’ moments. but…as is always the case…people dont have it all figured..! and thus is created a multiple image profile of the same person….
maybe this multiple image profile allowed me to be different people to different set of individuals…
…maybe this was the basis of my association…
…not just this batch…but my own as well…
ISB Co2007
thanks for being you….i loved every bit of interacting with each one of you…and you shall remain as a special memory…
feeling very nostalgic today…missing the moments…! cause i know it wont be the same again…
life moves on…
~a
the good part about not bloggin for a while…is that you get a feel of your fan following…!
…1 girl reminded me that i used to blog…
…my viewership has dropped 50%…
…i received 37 (yes…thats friggin THIRTY SEVEN…) anonymous comments…in a single day…and some 150 in the past month…”great site you have here…btw check some lesbians babes…and hey…while you are at it…hv u heard of viagra and turkey as a tourist destination…??”
i am actively considering selling my blog to google…!
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so my client was narrating his india trip the other day. went to mumbai for some business meetings and the first day was pretty tight with multiple appointments. the flight arrives at 8.30am and its only an hr to the first meeting. so DB tells the driver…”boss…drive as fast as you can…its crucial for him to reach in the next 45 mins…”
now you know how indian drivers are….either they drive at 40 and not an inch more….or if told otherwise…they forget that cars are made of materials that can crush humans….! see…here is my point….dhanno from sholay was the only friggin horse in that scene. so wouldnt have bumped into another…and crashed….and lost a leg…and her tail for life..! but mumbai….DUDE…! you drive at 60 only if you are on top of another driving at that speed..!
anyways…so this driver pays ample attention to the instructions…and makes his way through the traffic…! lo behold…he does manage to reach in time…
client is happy…impressed..! he calls DB and goes…”this guy was fantastic….! he took me through all these shortcuts and small roads…and heck..there was traffic…but hey…he managed perfectly..”
DB is clueless…”shortcuts…?? small roads..??” he talks to the driver…khuspus khuspus…and then comes back to client….
“ummm…well…those are the mumbai main roads…!!”
i rest my case…! arguments plz..???
________________
Dubai is inshallah coming to an end….! been a terrific time…! jst finished with a great piece of work…and its amazing how much one learns about an industry one was clueless about…jst 8 weeks back..!
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clicked this on the Delhi Metro sometime back. Really neat way of reminding the consumer who you are…
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890417/
another click…though unrelated…
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890368/
________________
life’s good…in all dimensions..!
~a
client situation #615
scheduled for 11am…we reached at 10.40 itself..! i would want to believe that whats i always do…if it wasnt for the cute secretary. its the smile that kills…always the friggin smile….
and then…when the dude has worked for some 18 odd years…why do they develop such a high respect for time. i mean..if the meeting is scheduled for 11…and 2 young consultants are having a happy chat with your secretary..why the hell do u have to come out of your cabin at sharp 11..!!
anyways…so whatever…! 18 yrs of experience…senior guy…! we got his time after multiple visits to the office…and it was only 30 mins. had the make the most of it.
so we start….and he is answering. the setting is quite corporat-ish..! you know…the table that can contain half the earth on it…and there is one old dude on its north. and 2 black-suited morons at its south. if both of us were to lie down and i were to hold on to his feet…we wud still need another body to reach the gentleman.
and whats with these chairs??? who do we hv to sink…and take ‘comfortable chairs’ to an all new level. not to mention tht the arm rest will rise up to half your thigh…! so u friggin need a forearm of shaq ‘o neil’s height..!
10 minutes into the interview…! the answers r stunning….i mean…experience oozing out..!! fantastic perspective.
beep…
its his phone…
he starts off infront of us itself. goes on and on..in some god damn vernacular. i cant figure shit…so am jst thinking of what next to ask. the interview seems too high a priority to spend time concentrating on something tht wud take an eternity for me to crack..!
“sorry gentleman..had to take this call..! please…lets continue”
the next 15 minutes flow smooth. good questions…equally brilliant answers…!
“thank you Mr X for your time. We really appreciate this”
“oh no…not a problem at all. I hope I was of help…! some tea?”
“So where are you guys from..?”
“OH i am fromt Delhi. stayed all my life there.”
“and you…?”
“I am from kerela..”
now…not that i want to…but i have never seen a person die of shock. i hv seen some bit of it in the movies..but thats all abt it. and i am told that the person freezes…! i mean…he jst becomes a statue.
yeah…on second thoughts…i did maybe see someone die of shock tht day…
“Kerela…??? So you can speak malayam…???”
“yes…i can…”
“OH I AM SO SORRY….I AM SO SO SORRY…I DIDNT MEAN IT…I REALLY AM. I JUST DIDNT MEAN IT…I AM…OH NO…GOD…SORRY…REALLY SORRY…”
“its ok…ok..not a problem at all..”
i am perplxed..!! what in friggin world i happenin. why is tht dude atleast 3 bodies away from us apologizing. and why is this super stud friend of mine acting as if he is jesus…out to forgive the world..! I have no friggin idea…i mean…NO IDEA….FRIGGIN..!!
we step out…and i am like….DUDE…WHAT JUST HAPPENED..??? WHY WAS HE ACTING LIKE THAT…
“remember the call…! he was speaking in malayalam. with someone frm home…i am guessing…”
“…and…???”
“…well….if i recollect correctly he said….these 2 f****** r wasting my time right now…moronic questions…thinking they r too smart..! I will make sure Srini doent grow up to become up…! friggin useless bunch of expensive furniture…”
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ISB recruitments in full swing. had gone down this weekend…to a fanstastic time. took 5 super studs…great bunch of people. the tension on campus was scary…! all i could do was go back in history and laugh at my state back then. it all seems so miniscule…so irrelevant…now…
great learning…
~a
PS: OK…alright…this wasnt me…! A colleague..!! But heck…story writing is fun..! :)
issi shauk ka imtihaan zindagi hain…!!
..its the test of this desire…that’s what life is…
– Zaaveda Zindagi (Movie: Anwar)
i agree with that…! life..at all times…at each point..is simply a test. a test of how strongly you desire something…how much are you willing to work towards it…a test…each and every point.
so…i sat down the other day…with the music on…! ofcourse..people who can see my gtalk know that nowadays i am on an overdose of urdu stuff. gone back to jagjit singh sorts. and then came atif aslam. friggin amazing stuff. fanstastic lyrics…most of them…and his energy is jst killin. i mean…he is so good…tht at times i wish i cud be this teenybopper…at his concert…shouting at the top of my lungs…atifffffffffff…almost tearing my top off..!!
anyways…
so i sat down the other day…!! and omg…HAVE YOU HEARD ATIF ASLAM…HE IS LIKE…OMGGGGG…
yeah…the othe day…! i was wondering..what are the things that i would work for..! what would life be testing me on…each and every point.
this was my list…
Photography
life…everyday…asks me this…
“u friggin ass..! at a time when you were earning $525 a month…u bought yourself a $750 camera..! you used to cook your own food everyday…because paneer outside used to cost more than milk and vinegar…(ofcourse my time had no value then. notice how i used ‘then’ to lead you into believing that it does hv any value now..!!)..! so what the f did u with it..! clicked some snaps..! made a moron show at the ISB talent night..! and yeah…never got down to practising..! u friggin ass…!”
i know what i want to do. i want to become angus moon. for those who dont know him…he was the exchange student to isb from UCT GSB, last year (read here). and a professional photographer. not before he earned his living as a consultant. and according to him…he earned much more as a photographer than he did as a consultant (ofcourse with my friggin package i will have to click rajnikanth naked to make up for it…although i do know that clicking bappi lahiri naked might fetch me more!). now thats what i want to do. i just want to leave my job one day…and pick up my camera. and jst go clicking for a yr.
balls..! will never get that courage..! life’s a waste..!
Singing
yeah…thats true..! i hv always loved singing…although only 2 people hv heard me do so. only one survived. i do visit the other whenever i get the time..but the friggin asylum closes before my office ends.
i wanna learn singing. i want to sing the song i like…the way they shud be sung. and i want to believe that i did a good job. ofcourse i also know that anu malik thinks the same…so yeah…i also want the world to think i did a good job. which in turns means…i want to sing for an audience one day..!
let see if i pass this test…
Superman
my masi went to singapore right after her marriage. so when she finally came back to india after some 5 yrs…she was this genie…! with magical stuff…!! she had this thing called the VCR…! and this beauty of an invention named TV. and a certain video called Superman II.
each time i met her…which was like once a week or so…she used to make me watch it. without fail. till i reached the point wherein i visited her almost everyday…jst to watch it. the movie was my sholay..!! i knew each dialogue..(or atleast i thought..heck..i was in 3rd grade..and the movie was english!)…! ofcourse…growing up..it was easiest to blame masi for most of who i was..!!
hah..! i used to go to temples and pray to god…to make me superman. and i remember telling god…i promise i will use my pwers for the good..!! i am sure that used to be god’s stand up comedy hour…!! he wud invite jesus and mohammad…and indra (if he was free from his boogie-woogie dance performances) to view me…and would go…”listen to this friggin ass…wants to become superman..he is too funny..!!”
but i want to become one…whats wrong with that. really..! i get a kick when i do somethng for someone…wthout the person knowing its me. he jst knows its someone..! it cud be anyone..! and thats superman for me. u hv the power…but never the identity. you dont exist…and yet you do..in the most powerful manner possible..! and its an addiction for me..! the ‘overly involved’ me..!
ofcourse…they stopped making red underwear…and my blue pants are not the best fitting. but i can manage..!
so there…u hv Mr. blue pants…who can friggin sing….and flies arnd with this camera. yup…that’s me..!!
that’s who i wanna be…
issi shauk ka intihaam zindagi hain…!
~a
feb 2006…
i hv given a lot of tests in life…won some…failed some…but what i remember most about them is not the result but the experience. i was on campus last weekend and in one of our conversations AS mentioned that he went to my blog in feb 2006…to see what it was like…
the campus wears pretty much the same look as it did last year. the vulnerability of each is clearly visible…people are at their emotional weakest…! mental strength is sought at each stage…and its a beauty of life how each one of us manages to find their source…in their own way..!
it was a learning experience…ofcourse where i am today also makes it a memorable one..but thats largely besides the point. i would have still emerged more ‘developed’ irrespective of the result…
i used to maintain a daily log of my activities at ISB….and i went back to it today. before i realized i had spent 2 hrs on it…remembering my life in tht part of SVII.
cudnt help but share the following:
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
8.15 – 8.30 – Daily Stuff
8.30 – 9.30 – Gym
9.30 – 10.30 – Newspaper
10.30 – 11.00 – Internet
11.00 – 1.30 – Studies – Stats
1.30 – 2.30 – Lunch
2.30 – 4.30 – Class
4.30 – 5.00 – Nothing Specific
5.00 – 7.00 – Class
7.00 – 7.30 – Nothing Specific
7.30 – 9.00 – Newspaper
9.00 – 9.30 – Dinner
9.30 – 10.00 – Telephone
10.00 – 10.30 – Lying down on the grass
10.30 – 12.30 – Studies
12.30 – 1.00 – Walk
Total for the day: 16.75 hours
Sunday, January 15, 2006
10.00 – 11.00 – Daily Stuff
11.00 – 1.00 – Resume
1.00 – 2.00 – Lunch
2.00 – 4.00 – Studies
4.00 – 5.00 – Nap
5.00 – 9.00 – studies
9.00 – 10.00 – Dinner
10.00 – 1.00 – Placement prep
1.00 – 2.00 – Nothing Specific
2.00 – 5.00 – Studies
Total for the day: 19.00 hours
life changes….but still remains beautiful…! right, SL…?
~a
never again….
this post is not for the faint hearted…or people who have never been to a public loo…!!
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ever been to a debate…?? the good ones…always define the motion infront of the house. even if the motion is “bappi lahiri is the sexiest person alive…”…they will spend painful minutes describing what their definition of ‘sexiest’, ‘person’ and ‘alive’ is…!! which is actually an impressive way of wasting time and still coming out intelligent.
so…here is my definition.
any loo that as been used (by an absolute majority) by people i have never met in my life…is a public loo…!!
i dont know if its just me…but i somehow cannot shit in a public loo when i know that people whom i know are around. best example would be office. i can never…ever get myself to sit on the pot and ease myself…
the only thought that crosses my mind is…
Shit (diffrent from the real shit!) man…i will shit…it will stink…next person comes in…and HE WILL KNOW THAT I SHAT THERE…!!
and…what the f is with these new loos whose dividers do NOT go all the way down. i mean…what in friggin world are they thinking…that the only way we will get to knw that its occupied is when we see the shoes, pulled down trousers and hairy legs of the guy on the pot…??? would a simple try at the door be enough…!! or was it that the inventor had a case wherein the person knocking refused to believe that there was someone inside until he saw one…!!!
friggin morons…!!
anyways…so i am at this restaurent…the other day…!! and i clearly remember that i eased myself in the morning. and i didnt eat anything that could have led to another visit…!!
but i had the feeling…and you know how it is…
mauth aur moot…jab aati hain…tab aati hain…!
(ofcourse…we r talking abt shit here…but u get the point!)
so…after much decision making….i was like….chuck it man….ab to karna padega…!!!
and i enter this 1×1 feet room.
which not only has a pot and a wash basin…it friggin has a urinal as well…!!
NOW WHO WOULD BE SHITTING IN A PIGEONHOLE…WHEN SOMEONE IS LEAKING BESIDE YOU…?????
but no…gay marriage as legal and so are such toilets…!!
aaah…and not to mention…it had a hand dryer as well. which makes up for the first part of the story…
the loo is so so ‘huge’ that the minute i sit down on the pot…the hand dryer gets activated. i move my arm..and it goes wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…i move my head…and the same…!! it was so bloody small that i am sure my breathing process would be causing vibrations strong enough for it to get activated as well….!!!
well..so life is not always fun. after some 5 minutes…its done. and i ready to wipe all possible clues that i ever shat…!!
now…i know i have stayed in the US for a long time…! but heck….i will never ever wipe my ass with paper for god sake…! its just not happening…
so luckily for me…there is a nozzle. and its strategically pointing towards…u know what…
i find the knob…and turn it arnd.
no water
turn more
nothing
little more
nope…
turn it all the way….
PHOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
so…now if you can imagine…everything bad that could possibly have happened..had happened. my undies were all wet…and so was my jeans…!! and there was water dripping from my ass the way it never had…!!
but…the worst was yet to come…
i get up…count till 10…actvate the dryer a million times in the process…and get myself together….
flush…
no no…wrong gues…the flush worked..!!!
the friggin shit wont move…!!!
why gawd…why….why me…and my shit…out of all…!!!
flushed again…
nope…
yet again…
nope….
now this is where sound decision making will make the difference between a winner and looser. or a “all loos are the same” and “public loos…no no no no nooo…”
i wont go into the details of how i emerge victorious…(oh yes..i did)…! but to give you a hint…once i came out…i told the manager…”you may want to change the cleaning brush…”
friggin public loos…!!!
never again…
and hey…remember the time when the air hostess says
“in the unlikely event of an emergency landing, please adopt the brace position”
here is an addition they might want to consider
“in the highly likely event that your neighbour decides to take his shoes off when his socks havent been washed for a week…please ask for our highly successful wet tissues…wipe your hand crazy with them…and adopt the manoj kumar position”
but friggin public loos..
never again…
~a
balls of steel…
no no no no no….busy….heck no….
ummm…yeah…vacationing…and hence lazy….more like it…!! not that life stopped…so hv a lot to share…so much that i hv forgotten most of it…
Solstice
Cudnt have asked for more….it was jst perfect. everything abt it…! meeting everyone again..walking down those roads again…as if you had never left…spending time doing just about nothing…! it was bliss all over. i guess the only thing that i like about work is the fact that i can now afford to fly kingfisher frm hyd to delh…instead of air deccan. its another case that i flew indigo…! but u get the point..!! student life…no matter what said and done…and no matter how many friggin assignments…is still far better…! and i hv been saying this right from my MSU days…!
the following month seems to be ISB travel month. Will (hope to atleast) visit it atleast 3 times before the final placements. A is getting married this 28th…so plannin to attend that too…!! wuuuhuuuu
New Years
Now…dont get me wrong here. Its not always that a consultant will get 10 days off…in the middle of an engagement. but things worked out. for the better. yes…i was working…frm home…so things werent as tight as they are once in Dubai. so had an awesomely chilled time. wonderful…! and yeah…the NY party was great…and i hvnt seen as much fog as i did tht night..!! it was crazy…..my left hand kept shouting….where the f is my right hand man…!!!
Misc.
Yesterday I met the weirdest guy in the history of mankind. in some loose sense i would also call him the man with balls of the hardest steel
so its airplane waiting time at the airport lounge. and the test is placed sexy. with another 70 runs to win and 4 wickets in hand…it could have gone any way. and kumble was bowling like god…so everyone was hooked on. there is this sweet 32 inch LCD screen…with all the sofas in front. however…there is one which is right below the LCD…facing all other sofas.
now i do understand that some people dont like cricket. or lets say dont enjoy it as much. and thats fine…seriously. i think they should just change their nationality if they are indians…or continue to live with a foreign passport…and they will do just fine.
but no…this gentleman…indian…in his 50s maybe…decides to show the world his mind. so when some 50 odd souls are watching the screen…following the match…he enters the lounge…and sit on the sofa right below the screen. so now…he is facing the entire crowd…!!!
dont miss this historic moment in history people…! there is a screen with decent volume…and almost everyone is wathcing that. and there is this dude…who is facing everyone…and looking right into their eyes…
and then he does it…the act that will catapult him to the hall of fame. he shakes his head….left to right…and goes….tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk….for almost 20 odd seconds.
HE WAS FRIGGIN PITYING US…
one half of my brain was giving his a standing ovation…the other was imagining the plight of his kids at the loss of their father…!!
crazy….
and surely balls of steel….
but what was he thinkin…???
~a
orgasmed again…
at times i wonder what my mum will hv to say about my blogs…and the number of times i use the big O word…!! my guess is she will be shocked at the fact that i know about the word…let alone using it every second line…
anyways…
my current client had participated in this huge international exhibition by the name of cityscape. we particpated (and had quite an awesome stand…including the hostesses..!!)…and had roped in a photographer for the entire 3 days duration.
for the entire 3 days….i had a ball with him. went through a crash course…and loved the fact that there were shit loads of stuff that i wasnt even aware of…!! and tht gives me a kick…cause i know that i work on those and i will be better than what i am…!! ofcourse…it wud hv been tragic if i got to know that i know everything that there is to it….and still click the quality that i do….which wud mean tht i suck…!!!
after cityscape the engagement happened….(yes..if you havent read the dec edition of TIME…this will be news!)…and hey…am talking abt my engagement…yes…yes…me…!!!
it went well…everyone was happy…tht includes me…and the parents of all delhi girls…!
came back…and will be flyin to ISb this weekend for the reunion…(WUUUHUUUUUUUUU)…but…my latest learnt talent will be put to use…! so got myself some sexy professional rolls…and a new set of batteries…! had intentions of clicking at will when on campus…
things were to change when i loaded the film on the camera yesterday. i jst cudnt resist…and for the next 2 hrs jst played with my camera like never before..! its funny how a material thing can bring you so much pleasure. i mean…alright..a dildo wud fit in the same description..but this is a camera i am talking abt…!!
fascinating stuff….!
orgasmed again…
~a
PS:
1. project got an extension…will be in Dubai till feb end.
2. am going on a long leave starting 25th…all the way to 2nd jan
3. registered 40% returns in the market…in the past one week…
4. met with E after a long time…and it was amazing
5. did i mention…life’s good…?
amoungst clouds…
a closer view of the Burj Dubai. stunning development…
~a
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