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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
games people play….
since the day i was born…i have been observing people. i noticed the mole on the doctor who gave birth to me and the fact that her stethoscope’s left earpiece was bigger than the right one..! but then thats not observing people…so nevermind…
i find it as a good pastime…! even mre so when i see some dudes doing stuff that i just dont get…
for instance…picture this…
4 elevators in my office building..! 9am…5 people waiting on the lowest floor to go up…! a gentleman arrives from behind…makes his way through the 5-body crowd…and presses the up button…AGAIN…and AGAIN…!!
wtf was he thinking..! that the 5 of us are long lost buddies who are staring at the elevator walls trying to remember the day we played football in the rain…? or we are just zombies who have been working so hard that we stand infront of elevators wishing and praying that it comes down…u never know…u seee..!!
bugger…!!
and picture this….
mumbai airport…the new delhi flight is ready…all lining up to the bus that shall carry them to the machine of tight haristyled women and emotionally poisoned food…! and there you see Aamir Khan…! note that he is not trying to hide him….so if one has been born in the last year…there is no way that you cant recognize him…
a gentleman…mid 40s…comes up to him…and goes…
“are you aamir khan?”
no sherlock…i am bappi lahiri and i have been gyming for the past 6 months. but the friggin gym was so expensive…(bipasha basu also comes there u see)…that i had to sell off all my gold and thus u see me now in a body tight tee…and jeans…and no gold..
this is worse than the pre-historic habit that has engulfed motherkind…of asking…“tum aa gaye” when she saw er son come back from work…
people…i tell u….
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work has been crazy lately….but awesome fun. helping shape the future of media and entertainment in india…and its somehow orgasmic to sit back and think that the room you just stepped out of…after your discussion with the CEO…was witness to something that will change the entire landscape forever…
and u urself will get to witness it…
bliss…
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lately i have been itching myself with a lot of b-plans. dont know when and how to take the plunge…cause at some level you know that inaction right now can be suicidal…someone else will surely pick up your idea…and there….gone….
any people who wanna fund me…?
~a
WTF…
this is it….ladies and gentlemen…this is it. mankind has finally found a negative IQ species….and like everything else….this too lies in India…
presenting…
the former human friggin development minister of india…
He viewed that sex education will transform student teacher relation into that of a man and a woman. “I think the government wants to import the western culture of sexual relation between student relation to India,” he said.
He said introduction of sex education was what multinationals did to create the desire for sex among teenagers to sell their products. “It is not sex education. It is education to sell condoms,” he alleged.
Catch the story…at your own risk…
and if this wasn’t enough…we have UP teachers (crap…how did Bihar lose out!!)…crying out loud…
“The books on sex education supplied by the government should be promptly withdrawn,” “If they fail to do so by July 21, we will be compelled to make a bonfire of these books in public.” “We have decided to take this extreme step in the larger interest of both students and teachers,” he added.
ummmm…whose interest….again…????
I have an idea…
why dont we get all the politicians together….
actually…you know what…
i give up….
~a
education….crap…!!!!
am a disillusioned person lately…
i have always believed that education is the solution to a lot of problems facing the world today. ofcourse…arjun singh also believes so…but he takes the entire concept a little too far…! and yah…even with a world of only PhDs…we might still have bappi lahiri composing music…and going…”pyaar beeeena chaaaeeeennnn kahaan re….yaar beeenaa chaaaaeeeennn kahaan re…”
anyways..so yeah…education…everyone felt that…and so did i…and i didnt think i was wrong. typically you would have the educated class as the one who thinks the way humans shud…with a constant struggle to educate the society…and ‘better’ it even further…
and then…my hypothesis was tht people who fall into bad hands are the ones who are vulnerable…who are soft and weak..! imagine a dude…born into a poor family…for him struggle is his destiny…! he will hv to work a lot of things off…to get to a good level in society. some might succeed…many probably wont…
and then will come the easy way outs…the underworlds…the robbers…the petty thieves…the peddlers…
F***…NO….thats not true…!!
“…The first Indian national known to have participated in a suicide bombing outside the country…”
he is a friggin nuclear physicist….a friggin PhD…a product of cambridge university…who had everything working for him…! he had a family that cared for him…a country that respected him….foreigners who trusted and let him in…
and he is a terrorist today….
why dude….why….? what wasnt right…?
why…
~a
HuhCorp…and DuhCorp…
I submit….this is the best consulting firm ever…
www.huhcorp.com
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Livemint.com covered SecondShaadi.com yesterday. Nicely done.
http://www.livemint.com/2007/07/04154115/Paradise-Regained-Tying-the-k.html
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~a
its an ‘almost’ adults blog…
so…its official…your eyes, as of this moment, are witnessing an above 17 blog..! if i hadnt used shit 21 times…or ass 8 times…or my fav word gay 5 times…or omg the friggin adult word slap 4 times…things would hv been very different…
this basically means that if my kids were to be gay…they would ofcourse use the word ass a lot…and will hv to be born 17 directly..!
CRAP..!!
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SecondShaadi.com has generated a lot of press interest..! I had PK calling me frantically informing me of the Indian Express frontpage..! and a google search on SecondShaadi generates quite a few results..!
We are very close to 1,000 profiles now…23% of these are females..and only 15% of these are never married. Which basically proves that the site is automatically attracting the right audience…
BTW…did you know that India apparently has the lowest divorce rate in the world..at 1.1%
but we still believe that the idea will work…! it will…
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am in manali this weekend…nowhere compared to mussoorie…! will post some snaps…
~a
boss…mumbai mein ek hi airport hain…
8.30am
Friday
Mumbai Airport
tringgg tringgg…
hello
haanji sir…u hv reached
yes yes…where r u…?
at the exit itself…should i go and fetch the car…?
yah yah..plz do…where should i wait…
i will come where the laal peeli start
(figuring out where that is)…alright…i will wait…
After 10 mins
where are you boss…?
sir…right there…can you see the 2 media vans…right behind that…
boss…there are no media vans that i can see…where are you…?
sir…just where the passengers get out…am on the road…directly opposite…
i dont see you dude…ok…am standing right infront of the premium parking
ok..i have gone ahead of that…will come back after taking a round…
another 10 mins…
boss…its been 20 mins…where the f r u…?
sir…right there…premium parking…
yaar…either i am blind…or you dont know the airport well…are you at the jet arrival terminal
sir..i have been coming to the airport for the past 15 yrs…
you are at the domestic airport…rite…?
haan sir…are you at the right airport…
boss…mumbai mein ek hi airport hain…
MUMBAI…???? sir…i am in delhi…!!!!
WTF…!!!!
so…this friday morning…i spent 30 mins of my life trying to convince someone in delhi…that he is in mumbai…!
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but i give it to mumbai..! cant repeat it enough..but this was my first rendezvous with prime traffic in mumbai. it took me a mind numbing 2.25 hrs to reach the airport frm nariman point. a whole 2 hrs…! in the cab..! hands numb…mind zonked…life paralyzed..! i shudder to think the potential loss in national income that happens in the city cause of simply being on the road driving…when you could easily be working and far more productive than listening to radio mirchi and “pal pal pal frm munnabhai” for the godforsaken 586976th time..!
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VP and I finally launched our site. We have been working on the plan for the past 2 odd months…! its completely VP’s baby and I am simply an external advisor devoting time towards the strategy of the product over and above my fulltime ATK committments. Its been a fantastic ride so far…and atleast for me last thursday, when the product was launched, was a special moment.
for VP though…having handled the complexity of www.desimartini.com already, this was jst another site..!
our business plan…a matrimonial site specifically targetted at remarriage.
www.secondshaadi.com
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my routine browsing this afternoon took me to this show called ‘Britain’s got talent’…and a certain Paul Potts. at the end of his performance…i was sobbing like a 5 yr old…jst couldnt contain myself. i hv figured that singing has a spiritual connectiong with me. ever since i went to the US…music has become my meditation. unfortunately…my voice can allow me to appreciate it vocally…but i remember when i spent simple hrs…jst listening to music with tears in my eyes…!
this was yet another instance…and totally deserved…(in my limited capacity)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDB9zwlXrB8
Life’s really good right now…
~a
shootout at lokhandwala…
good acting….tight storyline…no time wasted in unnecessary details…not many songs…(can they please do with none!)…and if you ignore the sequence wherein sanjay dutt says no to the bullet-proof jacket when there are atleast 100 rounds being fired at that precise moment…the movie was overall quite good…
but the real question lingered…especially once i saw the parting comments…
- crime in mumbai declined by 70% in the 2 yrs that the ATS (anti-terrorism squad) was in operation
- it was abolished in Jan 1993
- dec 1993 were the mumbai blasts…
the real question…is an encounter a preferred way of handling terrorists, even when you have caught them alive…precisely because their relationships with the ‘decision makers’ will ensure that they are out on the street the very next day….
personally…i am in favor of the theme…jackshit to human rights and jazz…! they didnt show any mercy when dealing with their business…and we will show none instead…
but am sure the arguments will challenge my chain of thought…let them come if you have any…
~a
crap…where did the month go….
no seriously…where did it jst go.
shit loads has happened in the last month…and each time i reached out the the laptop to blog about it…darn…forget it…how am i kiddin… i jst didnt feel like writing…thts it….! :)
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Media and Entertainment totally sucked me in last month…work was awesome…and painful…long hrs…no social life…weekends jst went by trying to think of how i cud hv used them better….and weekdays jst didnt exist. as my Gtalk status once said…”its like pregnancy…lots of pain but you like what comes out in the end” (courtesy PM)
but tht was then. things changed last week….when we met the client…and he was like…superb…sold…very well done…why dont u start working on the vision now. think of something that has never been done before…
and we were like…WTF
now dont get me wrong…these vision-mission stuff are good…companies hv survived on them…and am sure bal thackeray had one too when he ordered his warriors to storm cafes in protest of orkut…! but after 6 weeks of high rigor…and market interviews and business modelling and what have yous…when one asks you to start thinking of vision…it sucks…
or in other words…the phase of ‘intellectual masturbation’…begins…
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was reading a newspaper article on the environment day. if the screw up that we humans indulge in isnt enough…the paper had conducted a survey…with some startling results…
witness this…
Q. A shower for 5 mins consumes more water than a bucket of water
a certain section of society (naming them cud hv a bal thackeray lookalike run after me…and i am too young to die!) had 55% replying yes. which is good…! however…45% said no…! whattttttt?????? half the population in that particular area thinks that a bucket of water and a 5 min shower are equal..?????
i really hope that their showers are the ancient ones…u know th sorts wherein some shit dirt particle has blocked all but one pore in the shower..!
there is more…
Q. Brushing your teeth with running water consumes less than a litre of water
55% yes…45% no…and you know what. THE SAME FRIGGIN SECTION…!! what retards live in this world that believe this shit…and screw not jst their life but the rest of the world’s too….and then if the government says that we are raisin water bills…go on a violent bandh….kill some people…and continue to bloody brush under running water..
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but then the government is not the best either…
a hate community on orkut gives some bastardos the right to barge into cafes and destroy private property. and if that wasnt enough…the government sets up a committee to decide whether orkut should be banned or not..
why dont we do something simple. create a separate world for them. i know of some reclamation experts…who can easily recreate land on water. there is lots of space in the arabian ocean. lets jst build a sweet sexy world…where guys and girls are never together…15th feb comes right after the 13th…there is no internet and thus no hat communities…and oh…a news channel that always talks of the indian cricket team winning…so as to keep them under control. now that would work..
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and hey you guys…tell me something…whenever you apply for a competitie examination…do you call yourself ‘general’ category…? how are you sure..? can you show me a certificate proving that you are general…! if not…i suggest that you pick up the nearest kerosene tank…and burn your neighbour’s cycle. control dude control…the bus will be next…but jst practise before…!
everyone is fighting for a community status dude…i think we should too..!
what…what…national damage…? social inconvenience..? death…? dude…what are you…a moron..??? jst call some news chanels later and ask for an apology. over..!
and hey…if any news channels attempt to cover your violence…dont feel ashamed..! smile right in the face of the camera…
there…now u deserve the general status…jai hind..!
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strange thing happened today…was on my way back home talking merrily on the phone…when the traffic cop stopped me. now…i admit…my car is a traffic cop’s dream come true. i always talk on the phone…(its a long story why i dont use a handsfree…but hey…am still a nice guy!)…hv dark tints…and play decently loud music.
and plus…i am an honest tax-paying citizen
so this guys stops me…and starts off…2K for cellphone…2K for tints and 1K for pollution certificate. am keeping ur RC…plz come and pay this at the traffic center within 15 days….
whooaaa….hold on mate…! so first…show me the fine sheet…tht states the amt…
he didnt hv tht…
ok…fine…i will trust u on the amt…and am ready to pay it right now. give me the receipt for tht and let go off my RC
no sir…cant do…u hv to pay at the center. we dont accept challans here. this is not haryana law. i will hv to keep ur RC.
give me the number of ur ACP traffic..will ask him abt this law.
dont hv…cant share…
show me ur ID card
haryana govt stopped issuing them in aug 2006…
which means that i too can wear the same shirt / trouser as urs and start collecting moolah…
what do u mean moolah…u think we are here to take a bribes something…
oh u r not…great…so either u take the entire challan right now and give me the receipt..or u jst get the big shit out of my car…
i wont…
fine…let me take you to the traffic headquarters there…we will discuss the matters there…
ok ok..leaving…but get these tints off in 2 days…
Conclusion:
1. Most of these guys…i was later told by a frnd…do not position themselves on the location they ought to be. which is why they dont have those challans books with them. So always ask for their ID…always ask for the challan…and plz use bribe as the last resort…not the preferred one..
2. I did commit a mistake…and i ought to have paid. but i didnt…! and i cudnt care less…because of the way he conducted himself…! dont if i am wrong here…comments invited…
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went to naukuchiatal for the weekend…fantastic lake place 25 kms frm Nainital in North India. stayed in an awesome private cottage…and had a much needed break.
here are some snaps…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/warikoo/sets/72157600321509929/
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will be back soon…surely within a month…
~a
spiderman…media and entertainment…and ofcourse…"yeh hai meri kahaani"
i remember this intense conversation PM and i were once having. actually all our conversations are typically intense…which start with me asking him what he does for a living…he cursing me to no end..then trying to explain…and then end with me asking him to marry me..!
so…abt this one conversation…he told me tht i sucked as a blogger. ofcourse this was his personal opinion and am sure that the 2 regular readers of this blog would defend me to no end..! he felt that my blog was inward looking….you know…the sorts which are like…”yeh hai meri kahaani”….i got up…and work is happening…and did i tell you of when i was 6…and then i fell in love…and oh i am getting married…etc etc…
he preferred the outward looking ones…the sorts tht spoke of world issues. ofcourse humor was almost sacsocant…and thus to be used in an honorable manner….i cudnt really understand what he meant when he spoke of humor and honor in the same breath. oh btw…what do u call a sardar who lives underwater…!! Jal-andar singh…!! HAH…! wait wait…there’s more…what do you call a sardar who lives and breathes under water…! Jal-andar singh GILL…!! wasssuppppp…!!
yah so…i really dont know what he meant when he spoke of humor to be used in the ‘right’ fashion..
i agree with him though…abt the inward bit…i do…! which is when i told myself….alrite dude…lets not jst look at the world…(which i do almost to the point of being anal!)…lets hv an opinion abt it too…and let the world know of the opinion. ofcourse to make it humorous…i turned to anecdotal posts…! stories…of my mundane life…experienced by me…but never talking abt me…rather the experience..! it cud hv been anyone…
i admit..at times i had to think really hard to come up with these….which made me doubt the sheer intention of it. was to please someone…or to express myself. i didnt really know the answer…but loved doing it nevertheless…cause it was a form of expression nevertheless….!
and jst when i was on a roll…friggin work came in between. as of this precise moment…i am an i-banker when it comes to hours…and a consultant…when it comes to pay..! and a complete bastardo when it comes to blogging…
that my friends…was my brief explanation for the increasingly increasing duration between subsequent posts..! thank you…
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just came back frm spiderman 3. its awesome. i mean…if the goblin wasnt enough…we had new goblin…who basically confused in life….is a loser as it is…and if tht wasnt enough the director decided to give him memory loss.
and then a superduper sand man…who basically cud be destroyed by water….yet somehow managed to cry…and am sure he did pee at times as well..!! imagine what you mst go thru when u know tht each time u pee…u r getting an inch closer to death. and god only help u if u had tht ugly burger on the beach tht evening…and went down with some loose motions the next morning.
so anyways…yeah…there was the sandman…! and then some freaky dude…who am sure was supposed to be an extra in the movie to begin with. but the director made the mistake of capturing him too many times in the 1st half….! he took advantage of tht and held the team to ransom…”give me a better role else i will not act in the 2nd half”. ofcourse the character cudnt be jst killed (which btw wud hv made the movie a trifle easier on the head)…and he was afterall jst a crappy actor…so they made him a freaky villian. a monstor actually…! who cud be destroyed by the sound of church bells. ladies and gentlemen..the ramsey brothers have finally got their worth. finally a demon tht is scared of god-stuff…such as the om pendant..or the cross pendant…or the trishul…or simply the hanuman chalisa..!!
but the real villian was spriderman himself. he becomes greedy in the movie…u know…lalchi sorts..! suddenly loves all the admiration…so starts making guest appearances at road shows…! jst like priyanka gandhi…oops…vadra…!! (forgiveness my lord…oops lady)
its 2.45 hrs long….exactly a minute after death happens…to the audience…!
its a crappy movie…plz dont go..!! esp if u like spiderman…plz dont..!
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am currently working in the media and entertainment sector…and its a friggin awesome place to be in. the industry is mindblowing…to say the least. there is so much of stuff happening…tht one cant even see on the surface…! fragmented to the core…unorganized to say the least…and has so much of potential. some awesome trivia…
> India has 13,000 movie screens. PVR…the largest integreted player…owns 70.
> Home Video and TV accounts for 75% of a movie revenue in the US. 7 friggin 5 %…!! no one there watches films in the theaters..! come to think of it…i went for a film show only once in 2 yrs..when i was there…! and i guess the only ones who go are desis..!
> The entire global movie industry is USD 92 bn. Walmart revenues last yr were 349 bn..!
> You know who owns ESPN. Walt disney..!!!
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life will take me to mumbai next….! jet airways…here i come…!! spidermannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
~a
to the class of 2008…wear…sunscreen….!
when DM was promoted to principal earlier this year i remeber him telling me…
“as a manager i got to know your batch closely…cause i was involved with the day-to-day activities of the engagement. however….yours will be the last batch i shall know directly. cause now…as a principal…i will be ‘away’…”
that how i felt when the new batch of ISB came in…at some level i would always be away…
i do know some guys in the batch…and have a lot of expectations from them..more so since they happen to be from my high school…! but 4-5 in a batch of 430 doesnt shake a mountain…
anyways…
To the batch of 2008…(with a high probability that most will not even know of this site’s existence!)
this year is going to be something you could have never imagined…
…a ride that will leave you exhausted…and craving for more…
…dont let go off it…at any time….
…and wear sunscreen…
~a
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