Words. Wisdom. Winners.
so this is a real life incident. happened to me last thrusday on my flight back to india…
every indian on this planet..and every traveler to India as well…can relate to one sight. queues. friggin queues. everywhere..! we indians r so used to jst placing ourselves confortably in a line…and jst live the rest of our lives trying to reach the ‘counter’.
so it was one of those queues again…that got me introduced to her. i was boarding the flight…with my boarding pass in hand…(and mind u…even if u hv bloody boarded a plane more times than u have pissed in yur life…the hostess will definitely ask u for your boarding pass and direct you to your seat…as if you are the biggest moron who couldnt have figured by himself..! anyways…)
so there is this huge line leading to the miserly economy class…(reminds me of a seinfeld joke…he was talking abt the way the hostesses draw the curtain between the economy and business class…saying with their eyes…”if only you had worked harder”)…and its dragging along…till the time i reach right at the entrance. and its been some 2 minutes at the same….the line is jst not moving.
“oohh…discovery channel..thats my fav”..!
a rather stunning airhostess…(who btw i had conveniently avoided mentioning so far…)…standing at the right side…! her repsonse is to the discovery logo on my tee…which R had given sometime back (quite cool stuff these discovery guys make..!).
“aaaah…thts nice..! infact..we ‘at discovery’ have a hidden vision. that everyone in this worls feel exacly what you feel”
there were artificial hehe-huhuh laughter…before the line finally moved on..!!
now..if u hvnt figured by now…i said “we at dicovery”..which in the english language means that i lied. about the fact that i work at discovery. now dont get me wrong here…i am quite proud to be a consultant…i think they r the best invention by mankind..after the safety pin ofcourse…! but something within me…made me lie..
and wait..there is more…
so i seat myself…and put the “do not disturb…even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on” tag on my seat…and as i am about to close my eyes…she comes in again…
“hot towels please”
sleep’s gone..! am with discovery again…
“so what do you do for discovery”…she asks…while holding the towel for the passenger to me left (i was aisle)…and given who was sitting on tht seat…i am sure he felt it was some sort of hypnotic towel..meant to soothen the body during the flight…cause he jst didnt move his eyes off it.
“ummm…i work as a photographer for them”
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…cold blooded lie…how cud u…!!
“wow…thats awesome…! here in dubai”
“nope..in their delhi office. had come to dubai to cover the desert safari for a brochure we are working on..”
if only my thought process was as fast when needed
“thats quite interesting. please let me know if you need anything. i promise not to disturb you though…even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on
yes yes yes…she reads my mind…i can so totally see it…!! wuuuhuuuuuuu
so…rest of the flight was quite good…slept a decent bit..and each time i woke up..i saw her fanning me with a magazine…smiling sweetly at me as if so totally admiring me..! ok…i am lying here…cmon…u cudnt hv believed me now..!!
but yeah…i didnt see her at all till the flight landed…
at the entrance…she was there…with her…”thnks…bye bye now”…and i went…wtf man…let it go…
“ummm…btw i was lying…! i dont work for discovery. my fiance does. she gave me this tee”
“hahaha..!! u serious…??? well…btw…discovery is not my fav channel either…”
“…u see…its our job…we have to do it…”
so…kerela was fun. i wasnt raped…and no guy touched me as well. no wait…i take tht back…i mean…i went for a massage on thr last day…
the entire team had left on sunday and we dubai sheikhs were left to ourselves…given the timing of our flight. so i pretty much slept through the day…didnt hv lunch…watched the finals…fought a fire back in office…and then decided to go for a massage…
the weirdest hour of my life…
ok…so i was ready to be almost naked…infront of a guy whom i hadnt met…ever..! big shit..i thought to myself. if gandhi could almost do it…infront of the entire world…heck..am just an overweight normal guy..! and then…the fact that the massage place would provide disposable underwear…did provide for some relief.
so i enter this room…and this dude…i will call him X…opens the almirah..and reaches out for a small cigar like thing. i guess its the underwear…and as he takes the wrapper off and asks me to wear it..while he waits outside…several thoughts cross my mind…till it hits me…
WAIT A MINUTEEEEE…!!! AT WHAT POINT OF TIME WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL ME THAT DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR MEANS TRANSPARENT UNDERWEAR…!!!????
it was at this precise moment…when i am in my original undies…holding the ‘disposable’ undies…tht i realize where it all came from…the phrase…”point of no return”
ok..so calm down…all’s good…believe in your sexuality…hold on…dont sweat…hold on…calm down…just close your eyes and imagine its some machine operating on you…!
the music is chosen…and the oil is heated. they start with the head and its quite a fascinating feeling when the 1st drop touches your scalp. i am a sucker for head massages…once gave a tip of 50 (on a rate list of 30) to a guy whom i cud hv married if he was a girl…simply cause of the head massage he gave me..!
the next 15 odd mins are soothing. the massage is flowing smoothly…the occasional ‘touching’ is conveniently ignored…and before i realize i am fast asleep.
“sir sir sir…r u ok sir…r u ok sir”…shaking me rigourously. i wake up with a jerk…open my eyes…and find X’s face in friggin nanometer smooching distance.
i mean dude….am i the first person to hv fallen asleep during a RELAXATION massage…???? cmon for god sake…
for any current or to-be masseur…here is a healthy tip…
imagine a sage…seeking nirvana. and some dude has told him…tapasya for 22 yrs…and u shall hv it. so he begins…and the present time is 21 yrs…11 months…23 hrs…and 45 mins. i mean…friggin 15 min away frm nirvana. now what X did was equivalent to shaking the sage out of his meditation and asking him the directions to the river where the local beautiies bathe..!!
DONT EVER DO IT..!! someone’s gonna get hurt real bad…!
it was never the same after tht. the massage ended and i didnt quite enjoy it the way i expected myself to…but heck..atleast i got one in kerela..!!
PS: as a sidenote…AD kicked ass today at the DB interview. and i expected him to. it was an awesome feeling when he told me abt it…though i cudnt resist going back in time…exactly a yr back. to this day…i dont know what to make out of that day…but i do remember telling PG this…a week after my interviews…”zindagi mein kuch bhi…kabhi itni aasaani se nahi mila”….! and yeah…sach mein nahi mila!
proud of u AD…jst hang in there now…! its ur day today…!
it just had to be something to do with coming back…so heck…here i am…
i had almost blogged yesterday. dont know how many of you have this keeda in them…but i somehow like things to start..ummm…dont know how to state this…
its like…i cud hv blgged on the 28th as well…but then the 1st of nov sounded too cool a date to blog again…esp if u hv gone missin for 3 weeks. its like..when u walking..u dont want to step on the tile boundary…or u just want to walk on the black tiles…and want to start your work at 4.30…when u wud hv easily done so at 4.23..!!
ok..i hv OCD…cut..!!
so imagine the scene.
me on a chair…cross legged…jst managin not to fall off…(did i mention tht i hv put on friggin 2 kgs since ISB…and tht is after my GM diet wherein i lost 3!!!)…on my laptop…chkin my mail…and infront of me…this huge door…all open…allowing me to face one of the prettiest beaches i hv been to…
am on our annual offsite. at the Leela – kovallam beach, kerela.
there is something abt these 5 star god damn hotels tht pisses me off…! why the hell do they give me tht look…”dude…u wud be better off working for us…than staying with us..”…when they see me in slippers…and a tee tht might hv a hole or two. i mean…wtf…i hv jst come frm a 4 hr long flight…and yeah…i agree…i might not be looking my best…but then thts me. dont stare atleast. worse still…dont make faces to show tht i am some kind of a anti-marketing freak..who shall destroy the 20 odd yrs of reputation tht u hv…!!
and so much so for their intelligence…they bloody put me up with another colleague of mine…AND…same bed…no no…better still…same friggin sheet to pull over. what is it..annual gay sex meet…(SL…didnt i tell u last night..!!).
the room is quite weirdly designed..! who puts the wash basin out of the washroom…i mean..WHO..!! after u disrobe…and ease urself on the pot…u realize…oopsie…washin hand wud mean another round of hot gay masti…cause u hv to bloody go out…in the room..!!
and then ur mom has always told u….after a nice shit…dont ever touch anything except the soap..! so as u reach out for the towel…your conscience…(or is it ur mom’s??) gets the better of u..!! for once i had to kill it..! but not before my roomie…(who i shall beddie frm now on..for reasons unknown)…gets to see my ‘better half’..(which btw..is quite diff frm my ‘working half’)..!
its 4 days here…after which i dont really know where i wud go….cause of some meetings tht hvnt been scheduled as yet…! but these 4 days does sound like good fun. hoping for a really good time…and a 200 basis point increase in vaseline’s revenue..!!
am bringing sexy back….yeahhhhhh
this post goes out to the following target audience…
- love photography
- wud appreciate a photographer par excellance
- wudnt mind the photographer to be an extremely hot 28 yr old gal
- wudnt be turned off by the fact that she has 2 kids…and a bf
- wud go to all the first link below and spend atleast an hour on it…
- wudnt think that i have a huge crush on her…
i rarely visit my flickr account. its usually only to upload snaps and the weekly check for any comments…which surprisingly have experienced a huge jump in number lately…!
so this afternoon..close to when i was almost done with all work for the day…i opened my account…and saw Rebecca’s latest snap
this is precisely the time you click on the link below…
- she is the undisputed goddess of flickr
- simply the best self portraits i have seen (http://www.flickr.com/photos/rebba/sets/454414/)
- possible the best use of long exposure techniques (http://www.flickr.com/photos/rebba/sets/1260435/)
- she has mastered the art of multiplicity…something that i am fascinated by…and hv no clue to..(http://www.flickr.com/photos/rebba/sets/1058377/)
- and…she has clicked my fav snap of all times…(http://www.flickr.com/photos/rebba/32296282/in/set-72157594277460673/)
ofcourse…given the crappy me…i have analyzed her a lot…through her snaps…and at times her responses to the hazaar comments to her snaps…! and i must say that i am impressed…(i almost wrote obsessed here!)…more so since she is self taught…
i find her ability to look at life through her lens fascinating. i wonder what goes on in her head when she picks up the camera..and clicks. i wish i cud capture that moment..that brain wave..!
i even wish she wasnt as narcissistic…but then i still wanna play god….even with something so perfect…
The Shangri-la, Dubai
the tv infront…switched off…the bed untouched…wood finish working table…a few pennies…a virgin kitchenette…the cupboard half open…jst the tablelamp on…
lights off…close my eyes…jst the darkness with me…
the table infront of me…books on the shelves above…the incense stick almost done…matress behind with the lamp above…10 watt bulb…windows open….the girls outside…and i can feel the breeze…have to get the assignment done…but this is just so soothing…hv to read up for tomorrow’s class…but what the heck…its 3 in the morning…
Koi nahi hai koi bhi nahi
Na pass na durr
Ek pyaar hai
Dil ki dharkan
Apni chahat ka jo ellan kiye jaati hai
Zindagi hai jo jiye jaati hai
Khoon ke ghoont peay jaati hai
Khwaab kaanton se siye jaati hai
Yadoon ka jungle yeh dil
Kaanton se jal thal yeh dil
Chubtay kaanten yadoon ke daaman se chunta hoon
Girti deewaron ke aanchal mein zinda hoon
its these times that i realize the power of the human mind…
yesterday…for a moment…for just a moment…for just a very special moment…
…i was back at isb…
…i went back in time…
…and it was just so amazing…
…just so amazing…
yeh hai meri kahaani…
so this is cool…you work for 3 days and its time to go back home….!!
last weekend was a long one. was home for 4 days…took sunday off and monday was a public holiday. awesome fun. watched a movie…(Dor…quite a good watch..!)…and went for dandiya on saturday.
its funny how every thing remotely connected to dance…in delhi…has to turn into a bhangra one..! whats funnier is that no matter how much one cribs about it…you will definitely move your ass once it starts…!
so we had..none other than…the world famous…Bhupi…for the bhangra…oops…dandiya night..!! god..u shud hv seen the girls tearing their cholis apart….shouting “we loveeeeeee u bhupiiiiiiiiiiiiii”…and he doing that…”la la dhin chik dhin chik dhin chik…la dhin chik dhin chik dhin chik…” dance…!! the dandiya beats added to the punch…
and then the food was quite awesome…! it was shit expensive though…and i find it so fascinating how your atittude towards money keep evolving depending on how much you earn…
i remember the one time when i waited like anything for the x-files movies to release in India…i mean i waited…like crazy. and when i came…i thought…nahhh…its too expensive (and at 50 bucks a month as pocket money…it surely was)…will watch it later (and i did…4 yrs hence..when it came on TV..i saw it with my hands folded…it was religion for me..!!)…
and then those numerous times when you see something in the shop…and go…oh this looks so awesome…wonder how much it is……for….CRAP…!!! too expensive…
and now…by the grace of god…things are smooth…and the time spent on buying things is much lesser…! which makes me wonder…does hving money make u less of a ‘deal-seeker’…!! i mean…i remember that part of me which used to browse and browse thru shit loads of sites…before i cud find the cheapest possible deal on a particular item…(and a cheap deal is not a bad deal in my scheme of things…its value for money).
but today when i hv to buy a papri chaat…i bloody fork out 40 bucks…!! obviously thats not a deal…!! especially when you had that same precise shit about 4 hours back…for 15..!!!
people say money makes one powerful…!! yeah right…!! money simply makes u lazy…! it all boils down to convenience..!!
i hate this part of me…
so today…i spent 3 hours…ofcourse…in office…searching for a holiday package for my folks. and i searched and searched…searched like crazy..!! i didnt get the deal i was looking for…but in the process i did find myself back..!!
love this part of me…
so…SA…or AS…if you are readin this…pardon me…cause i really didnt have anything else to write…
its been 12 months for the ATK team here at Dubai…and we realized that its been quite a learning experience. a new country shall always come with its share of typicalities…and adjusting to those can be quite a task.
here is our version of the
Dubai Survival Kit
- Emirates will serve you good food. Air India will serve you food. Emirates has some really nice entertainment. Air India doesn’t believe in the concept. Emirates will fly on time. Air India will love you so much it just wouldn’t want you to leave the craft. Ever. FLY EMIRATES
- You arrive at the airport and the lady immigration officer is quite pretty. She has applied make up and you can actually see her face. And she even smiles at you. That doesn’t mean you can stare at her.
- When flying back to Dubai from India, you have to reconfirm your flights. Ofcourse the fact that you paid the entire amount for the flight and also got a confirmed seat doesn’t mean that you are interested in flying…does it?
- When in a team of more than 4, appoint someone who decides where to eat out every day. Change the person every week…to minimize the physical damage from other team members.
- Do check out the desert safari. The oasis comes in form of belly dancers at the end of it all.
- You are staying at the Crowne Plaza. Just by yourself. And at 2 in the morning you hear a knock. Do(n’t) open!
- Dubai is full of olives. And they look a lot like black grapes. They are not.
- Pepperoni is beef. Just because you have it everyday and like it a lot, doesn’t make it pork!
- Some people think that seafood is vegetarian. Most of these people stay in Dubai
- If your office is far from the main city, remember the route. You shall have to explain it EVERYDAY to the food delivery guy
- Don’t get overwhelmed by the grandiose nature of high-end Lebanese restaurants. Their attitude towards food is the same as that of Paris Hilton’s towards money. Waste it.
- For dinner there are two extremes. The AED20/person Sukh Sagar and the AED 200/person Burj. One will make you burp like you have never burped before and one will leave you hunting for that chips pack at midnight. Which one…is your guess.
- There are some things in Dubai that money cant buy. For instance an airconditioner when you are out at 12.30pm in august looking for an ATM.
- Hospitalization in Dubai is very expensive. Emergency treatment is free though. However, at a speed limit of 120km/hr, ‘emergency’ acquires a whole new meaning. Get yourself a medical cover.
- Ofcourse you love your wife/husband. And the worlds knows that. They don’t need evidence…definitely not in public.
- It’s a beautiful country and you would want to click incessantly. Control that emotion when attempting to click women in the national dress.
my feet were literally shivering as i walked towards A-01. i cudnt even dare to see who lives there now…but there was this sudden rush that i experienced…when i sat on the very same stairs infront of the b-blk…
it was suddenly 6 months back…and it was the same time..the same place…the same me…and yet it somehow didnt belong to me..!! but it still was an awesome feeling…
spent 2 days at ISB…officially down for the Kearney recruitment talk…and had a BLAST! the sheer feeling of being back was too overwhelming. more so for SB who just cudnt stop feeling senti. the first night..he drank a bit and then we walked around the campus for some 45 minutes…in the rain…while he narrated stories from the 1st batch. and we were lucky enough to catch a dunking…post which he jst said..”now i can die in peace..!!”
the 1st evening was well received. the turnout was decent…but the enthu was contagious. somehow this batch hasnt failed to impress me with that.
its beautiful…how this single place…holds so much of fascination for me. the sheer thought of being there again makes me wanna do it right away…
ofcourse…on the flip side…i cudnt spend as much time with some people…as i wud hv liked to. so sorry AD, SS, SL…very soon..!!
54 hrs…6 hrs of sleep…
never felt so fresh before…
R and i were heading towards K’s place. catching up on life in the past 5 days…and planning the evening ahead. its rare that i listen to music in the car when with her…! but had burnt a new CD and (i dont know if someone else has it) there is this unusual excitement as to which will be the next song. cause you really dont remember when you had put them in an order…to be written…
kaise tujhko dikhaun yahaan hai kya
Maine jharne se paani maa
tod ke piya hai
Guchcha guchcha kai khwabon ka
uchal ke chuwa hai
Chaaya liya bhali dhoop yahaan hai
Naya naya sa hai roop yahan
Yahaan sab kuch hai maa phir bhi
lage bin tere mujhko akela
i kept drivin…she kept looking out her window…there was no talk…
…and we looked at each other…and we had tears in our eyes…
unfortunately i have never really credited cinema with much. i know that SRK has a lot to do with this…but seriously…’bollywood/hollywod/crapwook’ never held any value for me except for pure viewing pleasure. it was rarely that i came out of a screening all shaken up…contemplating…thinking about what just struck me…! there are only a few movies that went that far…
2. The Shawshank Redemption
3. A Clockwork Orange
4. Requim for a dream
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
6. City of God
7. Motorcycle Diaries
8. American History X
9. The Matrix
10.The Fight Club
And no…i am not an angrez who swears by hollywood…! there have been quite a few (unfortunately…a few) movies in hindi that still have me in awe. Anand, 3 deewarein (shit…i really have to think hard here..!)
However, 2 movies lately have fascinated me…
and that…finally…is the theme of today’s entry..
Rang De Basanti
The movie made me feel pathetic…about my life. I figured that no matter what MG says…at somepoint of time i will have to stand infront of the mirror and be hard on myself. at somepoint of time i will have to question my very existence…and my purpose. its surely not to sit infront of a laptop and churn our excel sheets. its certainly not to get married and see my kids become the finest kids ever..! and its surely surely not to get that bloody hasselblad of my last post.
And this movie…made me question all of that. it got so hard on me…that each time i spend lavishly on something…there is a certain guilt that takes over. and that guilt doesnt easily go when i sign that monthly check to CRY. infact it gets only bigger. it only reminds me that as an individual i feel that offering money is my excuse to exist. i dont even know where the money is going…!!
this movie made me realize the power of cinema. the reservation protests…the opening of the priyadarshini mattoo case…the retrial of the jessica lal case…were as if retakes of the same movie. it literally reawakened an entire generation…
and i am not far behind….
Lage raho Munnabhai
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. It made me laugh…made me cry…made me think…and more importantly…left a message so powerful…and in such a subtle manner…that it was only later that i reazlied what a stroke of genius this was.
i personally never really had a strong opinion on Gandhi. ofcourse…it takes a lot to move an entire nation and i dont know how many of us are capable of doing so…(and no…mallika sherawat is not what i am talking about…!)..! so the respect is there. but apart from that…i used to feel…what if we had resorted to violence…wud we have gotten our independence a decade earlier…?
but what the movie made me realize was that i at my own small level have been practising the same thing..! i am not the agressive sorts…rarely will i raise my voice…and if i think about it…my way of dealing with things has truly helped me. dont know if it would work with someone else…but for me…the main idea is that if the other person is wrong…make him feel guilty about it…so so guilty about it that he never does it again. but do it in a manner that he himself realizes it…and is not forced upon by society and laws. its hard…cause it takes a lot of time…but it works…works wonderfully..!
silence…is the best weapon…! i love this in me…narcissistic or whatever…tht silence coms naturally to me. people think that simply slapping someone is the best form of retaliation…however…silence is the cruelist..!
gandhigiri…or whatever you may want to call it…found itself redefined through the movie.
RDB shoke me…munnabhai amused me.
RDB made me feel horrible within…munnabhai consoled me of my potential
RDB was shock therapy…munnabhai was ‘Patch Adams’
2 movies…almost the same message…almost diametrically opposite ways of treating…
PS: help me with hindi movies that can create the same effect.
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