Blog

A friend of yours got married at “the right time”.
Another one got settled abroad.
The neighbour spends weekends relaxing and weekdays grinding. 

The world is out there chasing the obvious things.
Settle down quickly. 

However, if you chase what everyone else is chasing, you will end up with what everyone else does. 

Chasing something that does not excite us leaves us with a life that does not excite us.

Chasing something because there is no other option visible leaves us with no other options visible.

The obvious way to beat the resistance is to resist the obvious.

How will we ever know what we could do if we are always entangled with what the world does? 

Trends are cool.
Around pop culture, news, sports, fashion, work habits. 

They make us feel like we belong – we laugh with them, engage with them, show off with them, follow them. 

However, the very nature of trends is that they will vanish.
Very soon.

What stays behind is what really matters – timeless content from time to time.

The best way to not be a trend is to ask what is likely to never change.
And follow that. 

Chasing worldly success is illusive.
What looks like success to us doesn’t match with others.

Setting our own standards of success, irrespective of the noises, is real success.
Staying true to those standards is getting truly successful.

Everyone has their own metric of success.
The same applies to us as well.

An unexpected hack to create opportunities:

Read all your emails.

It will tell you what businesses are up to.
What is being sold, what is being promoted, what is being spoken about, what is creating the news. 

It will tell you what your friends are up to.
What are their questions? In their life. And for you. 

Reading doesn’t mean chewing, understanding and remembering it.
It just means scrolling, and diving further if needed.

Great opportunities don’t come with the subject line: Great opportunity.
They occasionally show up in emails!

Comfort is a trap.
Getting out of that trap is real success.

How to know if we are challenging our comfort zone?

By asking ourselves the question: 

“Is there a high probability of success when we do something?”

If yes, we are getting comfortable.
If not, we are on the right track of challenging ourselves.

Consistently going towards things where success is less probable and if it still comes in, we are successfully breaking the bubble of comfort zone.

It’s a wonderful goal to lose 10 kgs in 3 months.
Or to make sure you get promoted this year.
Or to find the love of your life within a year.

However we don’t have a basis for setting that goal.
And if we don’t reach the goal, we call ourselves a failure.

An alternative, then, is to not set goals. 

Instead, take some action daily.

I will workout daily
I will gather feedback on all my projects, even if they might not be positive.
I will be genuinely interested in people and say hi to every new person I meet.

Over time, the need for action will be replaced by addiction to action.

Goals can make you look like a winner or a loser.
Habits only have winners! 

Free time is something we all should make room for in our days.

Not on days when there are less items to cross.
Rather every day, even on the busiest ones.

Read books.
Practise a skill you are inclined towards.
Or just do nothing and be alone.

It is not time wasted.

Rather if we do not make free time, the “productive” time would be longer, hazy and even confusing. 

Most of life is to maximise our free time. 

We should stop feeling bad.
We should stop feeling hurt over what’s over.
We should stop feeling regretful.

This is the advice we get when we are going through a negative emotion.

While this is what we know we should do, it is exactly what we are unable to do.

We want the negative emotion to go, but it persists.
The negative emotion persists, because we are resisting it.

What if we just let it in?
What if we accepted that we are feeling this way?
What if we acknowledged the emotion instead of masking it as an elephant in the room that never existed?

When letting go doesn’t work, letting in does.

If we do not consume alcohol, our default response is to believe the ones consuming it are bad people.

If we do not party on weekends, our default response is to believe the ones doing so are bad people.

If we do not believe in relationships before marriage, our default response is to believe the ones who have them are bad people. 

We have these moralistic views of what comprises good or bad in people!
Driven by what we do. 

Actions don’t make people good or bad.
Our beliefs make them so! 

It is easy to feel hurt. when someone gives you harsh feedback.  

However, if you only focused on the feedback and not the tone of it, you would perhaps learn something new.. 

Don’t pay attention to the noise.
Focus on the signal.

There is always something more to know.
Knowing everything is the beginning of stopping to know.