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One of my favorite questions of all times, and a hard one at that to comprehend, is

What drives you more – the problem or the solution?

Its hard to comprehend, because no one can claim not to be driven by the solution. That’s the outcome. The purpose. The aim.

And not surprisingly, most of the times, the driving factor has been answered as the solution instead of the problem. 

That was before I found a better question

What do you fall in love with – The problem or The solution?

If you find yourself falling in love with the solution, end the relationship. 

The worst piece of advice – “Work on your weakenesses”

Equally bad advice – “Double down on your strengths”

Instead

“You have no choice but to become awesome at what is critical to your success”

If you are a leader and suck at communication, you know what you have to do! No choice

If you are a parent and suck at patience, you know what you have to do! No choice

If you are a digital marketeer and suck at numbers, you know what you have to do! No choice

If you want to become a coder and suck at logic, you know what you have to do! No choice

If you want to be an awesome manager and suck at having difficult conversation, you know what you have to do! No choice

If you want to become an entrepreneur and suck at managing chaos or uncertainty, you know what you have to do! No choice

You success is not determined by YOUR strengths and weaknesses

It is determined by how well you are prepared for what you have to do

Think about every single individual that you admire and look up to 

And then think of how they got there 

Thousands of line of code 

Hours of writing, singing, dancing

Months of practice early morning 

Weeks of waking, running, lifting

Years of looking in the mirror and questioning 

Years of looking in the mirror and crying

Years of looking in the mirror and saying don’t you fucking give up

Don’t you fucking get comfortable 

Don’t you fucking think it was meant to be easy 

Away from the crowd

Away from the praise 

Away from the applause 

What you do when no one can see you, defines what they see when they do. 

Option 1:

Your performance has been below par. Despite repeated feedback it hasn’t improved. Its not working out.

“You are fired!”

Option 2:

Have you hit your targets in the last 6 months?

Why do you think you haven’t?

Is there anything I could have done to help you hit those targets?

Do you think I had the same constraints for others too? And at an organizational level as well?

How do you think leaders deliver when faced with such constraints?

How long do you think you will need to become that leader?

Do you think as an organization we have that much time?

Do you realize that because of all these conditions, every month you are here I will have to act like an asshole to you?

What would you do if you were me?

“I would fire me”

They have just lost their job. They don’t need to lose their self respect too.

Nor do you need to.

As an entrepreneur

You will be misunderstood because of your irrational optimism. Be optimistic anyway.

Other’s success will generate massive self doubt every morning you get up. Get up anyway.

Family will suffer because you have less and less time to love. Love anyway.

You will be hated for the times you take harsh decisions. Take decisions anyway.

The world might not value the experiences you share. Share anyway.

You will struggle to smile and show up. Show up anyway.

You will struggle to show up and smile. Smile anyway.

Your teams may seem naive, inexperienced and not ready to be trusted. Trust anyway.

Your ego will tell you that you don’t need help. Seek help anyway.

You will wonder why don’t they understand. Don’t give up anyway.

In the end the battle is between you and the man in the mirror 

It was never between you and them anyway 

What are you scared of? 

Ghosts?

Heights?

Water?

Your boss?

Your spouse?

Failing?

Being lonely?

Being in a crowd? 

How about decisions? Do decisions scare you? 

It’s ironic that we all ask for more responsibility. But rarely feel comfortable with the responsibility that comes with taking decisions. 

Eliminating the fear around taking decisions is the best gift you can give yourself. 

And you do that by taking ownership of the outcome of the decision. It’s success or failure. 

The thing you should be most scared of are people who sit on their decisions. 

And that could be you

Inadequate: lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose.

Incapable: unable to do or achieve (something). 

Incapable is the output. The what. 

Inadequate is the reason. The why. 

All of us are guilty of stopping at the what, whenever we fail. 

I am incapable  

I can’t do it 

I don’t have what it takes 

Only a few of us penetrate the why

Why am I incapable 

Why can’t I don’t it 

Why don’t I have have what it takes 

In my experience, surrounding yourself with circumstances and people that make you feel inadequate, will magically ensure that you don’t remain incapable over a prolonged period of time. 

But we rarely do 

Again, ask why! 

We stay in an apartment complex comprising 400 odd families 

And there is a 100sqft store that caters to our daily needs. Kapoor stores

Below the 100sqft display is storage, possibly 3-4X bigger. So it’s not that he doesn’t have merchandise. 

2 weeks back, a 1500sqft store opened. 

GM Mart

Stacked display

Air conditioned 

Scanner checkout counters 

The mega retail format in our world 

Kapoor stores was fucked. 

Or so we thought! 

And am sure Kapoor did too

Here is what he did

He realized that most parents drop their kids at the bus stop, between 6-7am. So we opened the store at 6am now 

GM Mart had operating hours – starting 8am 

Kapoor began to extend credit. Starting with fort nightly and going up to a month, based on retention and amount. 

GM Mart was not designed to give credit 

Kapoor began promoting his home delivery ferociously. Promising 15 min delivery. 

GM Mart was proud of its self help format. 

Kapoor started to give free eggs or bread on purchase of 500

GM Mart didn’t see why they should 

Place yourself in the shoes of Kapoor. And ask yourself – what would you have done? 

I love Kapoor stores. It had a choice to crib. To give up. To settle. 

And it didn’t. 

There is a little bit of Kapoor stores in all of us. 

And a lot of GM Marts around. 

Neither is destined to win. It’s a choice we make. 

A belief we hold within 

I have been in the Internet some for 8 years now. By virtue of that I have accumulated a lot of tacit knowledge. If rumors were to be believed there is even a name for this now. Experience! 

It’s an immensely gratifying experience when I can add value through my experience. When I am able to move things forward, because of a larger repository of situations behind me. 

What isn’t a bit gratifying is when I am forced to add value through my discipline and rigor. If I move things forward because I have the discipline and rigor of thinking through things – that’s not because I have more experience. That’s simply because I care. And someone else doesn’t, as much. 

Discipline and rigor aren’t an outcome of experience. 

They are a choice 

Right after a heavy dinner, the worst question to be asked is “what will you have for breakfast” 

You feel shitty right now. Why did I eat so much. You don’t want to have anything for breakfast. 

Come breakfast, you are hungry. And you gorge again. Perhaps feeling shitty again. You completely forgot how you were feeling last night. 

Humans suck at remembering the extent of their emotions they felt in the past. 

Whether happiness or pain

As a founder, the variance of emotions that hit you everyday is massive. Virtually impossible to remember all of them, let alone explain them. 

I have gained a lot by recording these emotions. Everyday, I speak to myself. A voice memo. Answering 2 questions 

What was the overwhelming emotion I felt yesterday?

Why did I feel that emotion?

And every now and then i go back to that day, just as one would to a diary. With the hope that I can still rationalize why I felt the way I did. Possibly learning how to be consistent with my emotions. 

Turning emotions into a habit is hard. 

Which is why it’s worth attempting to do it.