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Speaking, just when you feel like it, is an activity requiring least possible energy (and prowess)

One can do it anytime. Anywhere. In any position. When faced with any situation. 

Almost anything else instead will require effort

Writing

Illustrating 

Singing 

Painting 

Recording 

Composing

Thinking 

Pausing 

Not reacting 

Almost anything else instead will require judgment. 

Will require you to reflect

Some people are so inexpressive, they only have words to share 

This month I spent a fair share of my time conducting 1:1s with all the teams at nearbuy. Hear them out, their thoughts, views, reactions, responses to whatever is happening to them and around them. 

And I ended my message to them requesting the following:

Do yourself a favor and find out how much value you created for the organization, at the end of every day, week, month, quarter, year. 

——–

We humans are insecure by default. 

In our relationships

At work

In life 

And we seek seek security – in every action of ours. This is the basic emotional need of everyone. 

Ironically, we seek it from the opposite party. 

I want my lover to make me feel secure

I want my organization to make me feel secure

I want my friends to make me feel secure

I want the world to make me feel secure 

That just sounds scary! Resting my most important emotional need in the hands of  someone else? 

Here is the truth about security 

True security comes from within. It comes from knowing the value you add or create. 

The value you add to this relationship 

To this organization 

To this friendship

To this marriage

To this person 

The absence of this knowledge will always make you feel insecure. 

The quantification of this value will never make you fragile 

Determine the value you add. Don’t let anyone define it for you. Don’t let anyone define your security. 

Started my morning with a heartfelt life story – about how to exit the world.

People share their most honest stories during their last moments.

And that’s true for real life as well.

In 10 years of work experience, the unfortunate realization that’s dawned upon me is that an exit is the only true honest moment one can expect.

I have worked with really smart people, who have given their everything everyday at work.

But strangely only when it was time for an exit, did they emerge as their honest self. And they weren’t always bitter. They just shared how they truly felt. But it had never been shared before that way.

Makes you wonder – what is it about an exit that drives such honesty?

How can organization create this “exit interview” environment everyday?

I got up yesterday at 7am

Went to the gym and had a good workout

Came back. Read the newspaper.

Made breakfast for Ruchi and me

Worked for 3 hours

Lunch

Watched 5 TED videos

Went to watch a play by Rajat Kapoor

Shopped for a few things at the mall

Went for dinner with family

Had meetha paan

Reached home. Worked some more

Slept at 12midnight

Perfect day, isn’t it! 

Except it wasn’t entirely

We stay on the 15th floor. And every Sunday Vidur and I make paper planes from the newspaper pamphlets we receive. And then fly them from our balcony – watching them land.

We couldn’t do that yesterday. He was at his grandparent’s place.

It is really easy to fill time with activities. Activities that give you happiness. Activities defined by the world. Activities that make you learn. That make you emote.

But there is this one thing you do, that is none of the above. It doesn’t have a goal. Neither is it a process. Surely not significant enough to define happiness. Yet there is something about it that’s honest and pious. And each time you indulge in that activity, with no intention, no outcome and no expectation – you learn something new about your own self.

Flying paper planes with Vidur has taught me how hard is it to translate what you know, to someone who doesnt see the world the way you do. 

Folding papers in perfect creases and shapes, isnt something that a 5-year old understands naturally.

It’s obvious to us. Not to them.

And everyday, I make the same mistake. I assume whats obvious to me, is obvious to everyone.

But it isn’t always.

When do you fly your paper planes? 

And what have you learnt from it? 

It’s easy for the world to brand you as a success or failure – depending on their mood and the inflation rate (insert any other irrelevant metric here) 

It is equally easy for you to fall in that trap. 

“I did it” or “I fucked up” – is it truly your measure or what the world told you? Is it your declaration or what the world made you believe? 

Believe in yourself 

Not what you have or haven’t achieved through it. 

There was furor recently on a TechCrunch article that not everyone needs to know how to code. 

And then (thankfully) there was a response – everyone should 

I agree

Just as the past century has been about managing people and how to get work done from them, the next century will be about managing machines. 

And those who think they do not need to know how to manage machines, are the same shitty managers that do not know how to manage people today. 

Today they can hide behind politics, hierarchy, ass licking and organizational bulge. They worry about tomorrow – when none of this will matter. Perhaps not even exist. 

There is a storm coming. 

And every shitty manager will soon realize how little they knew. And how little they cared to change that. 

All the best! 

I take a course at a business school. And there is no final exam for that course. Just one question instead 

“List at least 3 things you learnt during the course”

All those who list 3 things fail the exam. 

“List at least 3 things you learnt during the course”

We are all fucked up in our heads to believe that success is determined by the world. 

The 3 things define my success

The task my manager has given to me defines my success

The call my spouse has asked me to make everyday defines my success

The career my parents have asked me to pursue defines my success

This much money defines my success

And yet, one simple glance at all those who we define as successful, will prove conclusively that none of them took the world’s definition of success as theirs. 

Successful people are scared to define what success is. 

They are scared they might reach it one day and wouldn’t know what to do thereafter. 

Do yourself a favor

Don’t let the world define success for you. Don’t even define it yourself.

No one says this about Facebook. Or Amazon. Or Craigslist.

People hated the new logo of Uber – but no one is complaining now.

Unfortunately – we have been hard wired to believe that looks matter. Because we have seen people get away with that, for a large part of our lives.

And we equate products with people.

Pretty products – need to be useful – to be loved. Else they are just that – pretty.

And being pretty doesnt suffice. Not for the user.

The next time you have the urge to “design” a pretty product – think of the verb that the customer would use to define the product, when they see it for the first time.

If they use the word pretty – you have done a shoddy job

Go back to work!

A stranger writes in to you

“Hey, i just read your blog. I don’t agree with it. You came across as full of yourself!”

For most people their first reaction in their head will be “fuck off. He doesn’t even know me to say what he said. Ignore” 

Some might respond – explaining. 

Some might confront. Some might abuse. 

Picture another scenario 

A stranger writes in to you 

“Hey – I just read your blog. It’s awesome. I am so inspired” 

Most of us will pat ourselves on our back. Feel great. Self worth will increase. 

Some will reply with a generous thank you. Some will go awwww

Now enact the same thing with a really close friend of yours 

Your friends honest critical view of yourself will hurt you more than a stranger’s would 

And his authentic praised for you will most likely be dismissed. Heard but not valued. 

Ironic, isn’t it? 

We dismiss genuine appreciation from a known quarter. And genuine feedback from a stranger. 

It fits into our worldview that this truth isn’t as valuable. 

When that’s precisely the truth that one should listen to and reflect upon. 

Criticism from strangers and appreciation from loved ones is the only mirror ever produced. 

You get up in the morning 

You have the check boxes ready – your schedule, your tasks, people, email, coffee. 

Or you don’t – it’s a day you will figure as you go along, but then that too is part of the plan. No plan is your plan. 

Almost makes it sound predictable. Not the outcome, but the way you wish to live the day. 

There is a certain desire to predict the day. 

How about you let go of that feeling? 

Do something you have never done before. Outside of your comfort zone. Outside of the predictability. 

Don’t let your need for predictability take away the surprise out of today. Surprise yourself. Today.