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Saying no to someone is supremely hard.

We are hard wired to belong – to a tribe, a community, a group.
And in the past saying no meant isolation. Perhaps even death.

And while saying no nowadays mostly doesn't come with a death certificate, the habit has stayed.

If I say no – I will not belong. I will hurt the person. A negative image of mine will be created.

Here is a reminder

When you say no – you say no to the request, not to the person.

True grace is refusing someone in a way they don't feel rejected

Here are the 3 states for a potential customer

• Yes, I want your product/service
• Maybe
• No, I don’t want your product/service

Unfortunately, most sales people will rank these 3 states (in terms or desired outcome for them) as

1. Yes
2. Maybe
3. No

When in my opinion, after a yes, the most desired outcome for any sales outfit should be

NO! 

We don’t need your services right now 

We don’t think you are right for the job

We already have something similar working for us

No, we can’t work with you for now 

But we have been trained to not take no for an answer. Keep perusing.

Doesn’t work anymore

The best gift you can give yourself is to be so good that you get a yes or a no, right away.

“Maybe” is this false sense of hope.

Can I meet you in person to explain in more detail? 

Can we give you a free trial instead to see if it changes your mind?

Can I explain the benefits once more

All in hope!

The hit rate of this approach is far far lesser than if you were to come back with a fresh new product/service for the same customer or pursue new customers.

Because sales organizations are so poor at accepting a no, customers are incentivized to keep lying and give this false sense of hope.

Imagine the total value of all hot, warm and cold leads in the sales funnels of the world today

And the waste of human effort that goes into pursuing it.

As a sales professional, learn how to take NO as a closure.

A sign to move on. To improve the product or sell the same product to someone else.

And as a customer, force yourself to say no as soon as you realize it.

Don’t linger

Reaching out to the same customer with the same product everyday and expecting a yes from a maybe, is insanity! 

Step 1

Advice is what you seek when you know the answer but you wish you didn’t. 

All of you have choices when taking decisions.

And one of those choices is our preferred one.

We know of it.

If we were to toss a coin, we would find ourselves wishing for that option’s side to show up.

So stop lying and identify the choice that you wish to go for

Step 2 

Humans tend to overestimate the pain we feel and underestimate the happiness we experience

Once you have identified the choice, imagine yourself going for the choice

And imagine the worst case scenario once you have taken the choice

The worst possible scenario that you could find yourself in

Step 3

Getting comfortable with your loss is far more valuable than getting excited about your gains

See if you can make yourself comfortable with the worst case scenario

Do not try to mitigate it. That destroys the logic.

Instead assume the worst will happen and then see how would you feel, how would you react

If you find yourself ok with this scenario, go for it.

Else, the other option it is.

As humans, we tend to calm down a lot more if we are aware of the worst, than if we dream about the best!  

Blue pill: 

Restart your life 10 years back, with all the knowledge you know today 

Red pill: 

Fast forward to 50 years with $10Mn in your bank account 

People judge you based on the choice you make. Rarely questioning why you made the choice. 

You could realize you haven’t learnt enough, and thus the red pill. 

Or even with what you know you won’t be able to get to $10mn by 50 and thus the red pill. 

You could realize $10Mn is nothing for you at 50 and you want a shot at more. Thus the blue pill. 

Or the journey is more important to you than the destination and thus the blue pill. 

The pill you take doesn’t define you. The reason does 

The decisions you take in life don’t define you. The reasons behind those decisions do. 

Here is a random prediction 

There are more meaningless “I love you” being spoken as of this moment, than all meaningful and meaningless “I need help” 

People don’t seek help. 

From other people. From books. From videos. From content. From life. 

There is a misplaced sense of pride that stops them

Pride will make you afraid.

Pride will make you feel powerful when you are not. 

Pride will force you to not learn. 

Pride will ask you to not ask. 

For help. 

Everytime I pretend to be smart and in control, I learn nothing. 

Every time I ask (for help), I learn a lot. 

Every time I say “I need help” someone helps.

I just don’t say it too often

Pride has left more people alone, than loneliness ever will. 

Every professional team is characterized by 2 core aspects 

Knowledge (/skills) and values 

And through this you can create a management consultant’s dream tool – a 2×2 matrix 

So there are 4 kinds of people who could be on your team 

1. Don’t have the same knowledge and don’t share the same values 

These are usually not part of the team. Even if they creep in, they are easy to find and get picked out. 

2. Have the same knowledge and share the same values

As rare as they are, these are the ones that truly move organizations forward. These are the team members everyone craves for 

3. Have the same knowledge but don’t share the same values

Super super dangerous. Because here is the deal about knowledge and values 

Knowledge is acquired 

Values are adopted 

And the minute one of the team members acquires more knowledge than the other, the gap in values makes this knowledge gap even harsher. To the point that it can’t be even explained. 

I can’t code better than you but I will steal code to make myself better 

I am a better sales guy than you and I will bribe my customers to always stay ahead 

I am better with people than you are, so I will manipulate them to agree to me 

4. Don’t have the same knowledge but share the same values 

The tribe you should be looking for.

The way all hiring should be done 

The quadrant based on which teams should be built 

I can’t code better than you so I would love for you to review my code for me 

I am a better sales person than you, so come along and we will close together

I am better with people than you are – let me tell you how 

I am not as good as you, but I will seek your help to become better 

From now on, whenever you meet your colleagues, question which quadrant do you fall in 

And ask yourself, what can I do, if at all, to move us to the quadrant of same knowledge and values. 

If you can’t, then move yourself or the person out of the team! 

Here are 3 predictions for the future 

1. People entering the workforce today will most likely never die (from natural causes). Some of them might move to Mars
2. In a decade or so, we will be hiring computers with the right culture. Do they speak the language we speak and operate by values we live by
3. Humans will cease to exist on payroll. Talent will become on demand and officespace as a concept will become obsolete 

So if your job today has a low probability of fuck up or the impact of your fuck up is non material – get out of that job! 

Now!

Because these are the first jobs that will be taken away

In the future, humans will do jobs that are extremely prone to fuck ups. That requires a human to take a call. Despite limited data, through emotions, gut, analysis. Matched with the ability to imagine the future. 

It’s called judgement, today 

It will be called “being human” tomorrow 

?

I was interacting with a bunch of ISB admits for the next batch. All high IQ, academic achievers who will spend 2 years working before joining ISB. 

Understandably all of them had questions around – does ISB help in the long term, will it help beyond consulting, will it help in international positions, is it going to help shift industries 

I answered most of these to the best of my knowledge

And then I told them – consider this possibility – there is a VERY HIGH CHANCE that none of you will ever die. 

You will not die a natural death. 

There is enough advancement happening, and at a crazy pace, that within your lifetimes we will figure out a way to not let the cells die

There is also a very high chance that some of you may live on Mars 

Now ask these questions again! 

We all get so consumed by the short term, by the immediate, by the urgent – that we fail to appreciate what lies ahead 

And how most of what we are doing have little or no bearing on how our life will pan itself out 

Heck, if we were to never die and live on Mars, even the definition of long term acquires a new meaning. 

Ask yourself – how can a decision that you take when you are in your 20s going to have any material impact if you are to live beyond 100 

And then ask yourself – what questions should I ask, for a life that is never going to end?

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail

What a fucked up quote! 

It’s impossible to not fail. 

Not everything that you make will have the world submit itself and hail you as their king. 

Not every product you make will be loved 

Not every test you take will have you score the highest or succeed

Not every person you love will love you back equally 

Not every step you take will always be in the right direction 

It’s utterly foolish, almost irresponsible to suggest this 

Because here is the deal 

We don’t fear failing 

We fear people 

We fear their reactions 

And we fear how we will feel once we witness those reactions 

We fear shame

We fear ego

We fear being banished

We fear being laughed at 

We fear not getting another chance to win

What would you attempt to do if you knew no one would react if you failed 

Being a manager is hard work. 

Seriously hard work. 

You have to manage your team, achieve goals, manage expectations, communicate bad news, spend time on hiring, retaining, motivating, firing. 

It is seriously hard work

Yet somehow, everyone wishes to become one. 

There is something appealing about being a manager. Being called a manager. 

And with being a manager comes higher responsibility. 

A bigger team to manage

A bigger area to control

More decision making powers

More influence

A bigger span of influence 

And everyday, I see people seeking this influence. 

Asking for more and more responsibility

For bigger teams 

For more control

Rarely, do I find people asking for more accountability 

Make me accountable for a bigger goal

Make me accountable for a larger purpose 

Make me accountable for higher target 

Make me accountable for the development of my team and my own learning 

The next time you ask for a raise or a promotion, ask yourself why didn’t you instead ask for a higher target instead? 

Managers seek more and more responsibility for themselves. Leaders demand more and more accountability for themselves