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Remember that one time, when we did something wrong as a kid?

But, we decided to own up to our mistake and tell the truth to our parents?

And we got scolded?

Remember that one time, when we did something wrong as a kid?

But, we decided to own up to our mistake and tell the truth to our teachers?

And we got scolded?

And remember that one time, when we did something wrong as a kid?

But, we decided to lie to everyone?

And we weren’t scolded!

That’s why we lie. 

Are we doing the exact same thing to people around us?

By not appreciating someone for their vulnerability and truth, all we do is cultivate liars.

There is a kind of debt that is rarely talked about.
That’s emotional debt.

I cannot leave this job, because I had promised my boss I would stay.
I cannot leave this job, because I have dreams to fulfil for my family.
I cannot go back to work, because I had promised my kids I would be around.

Emotional debt is intangible. It doesn’t exist.

And because we don’t pay for it everyday, we keep on accumulating interest on it.

Here is what helps.
Treating emotional debt as financial debt.
Take it only when you need it.
Take it only when you can pay it back.
And pay it in monthly instalments.

Emotional debt has killed more people than financial debt ever will.

Most of us think of success as relative.

“Am I more successful than him?”
“Is she more famous?”
“How can I become wealthier than her?”

But success is absolute. It’s what you feel within.
It has only one measurement – the one defined by you.

Success is not relative. Achievement is.

Most often we confuse achievement with success.

It starts with trust. Trust forms the basis of every relationship.
It is neither to be broken, nor to be tested.

It continues by listening.
Listening, not with the intent of answering but with the intent of understanding.

It grows with patience.
The most beautiful relationships in life take time.

Trust, listen and wait.
The key ingredients to long-lasting and meaningful relationships.

When you meet some of your friends, you feel excited. You feel pumped up and you feel cared for.

And when you meet some of the other friends, your energy gets drained. Enthusiasm lowers each time. And you just don’t feel cared for!

These are the friends you chose to be with.
You were not born into these relationships.

And since you chose them, you can also choose to get out of them.

When you take energy-draining people out of your life, you stand up for yourself. 

That’s not being mean. That’s an act of self-love.

We don’t want people to reject us, and so we find it difficult to reject people.
Saying no becomes insanely hard.

We think if we say no, people will leave us.
We will hurt the other person.
People will think poorly of us.

When we say no, we say no to a request. Not to the person.

The challenge lies in reminding that to ourselves, and to that person.

Today’s generation is under immense pressure.
It’s the pressure of self-doubt more than anything else.
This self-doubt is led by the view that everyone else, except them, has it figured out.

People seem to be eating the nicest looking food.
Wearing the nicest looking clothes.
Clicking the nicest looking selfies.

We think the other person’s life is sorted.
We think that we are not good enough.

What we fail to realise is that others are going through the same anxiety as we are!

At times, all you need to know is that you are not alone in feeling what you are feeling.

We are taught to admire the extraordinary.
To be inspired by them.
To want to become them.

But…

We are raised to become ordinary.
To follow a template.
To take the path already taken.

To admire is easy. To get inspired is easy.

To become extraordinary is not easy. Because we haven’t been taught how!

“It’s okay to work long hours. I will make my parents happy with the money I make.”
This was one of the biggest mistakes I made, when I was younger.

I thought I would send them on vacations.
Buy them new things.
Make their life comfortable.

Pamper them so much, for all the sacrifices they made to help me reach where I am.

Truth is — the busier I got, the less happy they were.
Despite all the things they now had.
Because they didn’t have the thing they valued the most now – my time. 

Here is the undeniable truth.
Our parents are going to die, and we have no idea when.
Sadly, we do not have all the time in the world.

I’m grateful I saw the wrong in my ways.
Today, my relationship with my parents is the best it has ever been.

True relationships do not need things to grow.
They need time.

Make sure to give your loved ones this time.

If I could go back in time, I would tell my 20-year old self this:

This decade is when you will be judged the most.

Your college.
Your job.
Your car.
Your phone.
Your clothes.
Your choices.

Here’s the thing:
People judge you because they want to feel good about themselves.

It has nothing to do with you!
It is their insecurity.

To all the 20-year olds reading this…

You are not wrong.
You are simply different.
You are simply you!

Keep doing you :)