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3 questions to take charge of your life
1) What are the things that I WANT to do? These could be anything - do not put any constraints as yet. Do not think of whether you will get it, whether it's the right thing for the future, or whether you are qualified. No constraints. Just a list of all the things you want to do. 2) What is stopping me? This is where the constraints are listed. It could be your capability, it could be your parents’ permission, it could be lack of opportunities, or it could be the fact that it doesn't make enough money. It could just be your mind tricking you that you can't do it. Whatever is stopping you from doing it - figure that out. 3) Which of these are in my control to fix? THIS is the clincher. This is where you transfer control - from the world to yourself. YOU ARE IN CHARGE. Not your circumstances, your family, or the world. Which of these constraints are in your control to fix? And you know what? You will realise that there are only so many things in your control. BUT if you were to take control of them - you will actually be ahead of most people in the same boat who want to do the same thing but never start.
How to convince your parents
You want to explore. Your parents want you to settle down. No matter how much you try, things aren’t moving.. However, here’s a fact: Our parents want exactly the same thing as we do: our happiness. Their proposed path may be different; intentions aren’t. If we try to listen to them and explain our perspectives, things will most likely change directions. If they don’t despite you showing your happiness, financial freedom, and others’ examples, perhaps you need to move out. Do either. But don’t let resentment live in a heart where your parents should.
Why do people change?
Someone was kind to you for a long time. Now, all of a sudden they’ve become rude. This leaves you questioning. How could they change? Why did they change? Did I do something wrong? Somehow it has started affecting your self worth in that relationship. Here’s the truth: People don’t change. They just surface. Depending on their life circumstances or even the situations. When we accept people for where they are, we don’t do them a favour. We do one to ourselves.
Get rich quick
When we taste a little success of a product we built, we want to 10X it. Or 100X. And make a lot of money from it. Except, that when we aim for quick money, we lose it quicker. Several reasons. Our self image hasn’t adjusted to it. We grew by luck or perhaps a great product - however, we never grew along with the process. More than anything else, we were hardly able to reflect - a superpower that comes after failure. Growing your business and having more money is great. It helps us make better choices. However, when we want everything right now, we end up trading the lessons of a lifetime for loss of a lifetime. The last thing we’d signed up for. The fastest way is slow.
Why entrepreneurship?
Maybe you figured a PM fit that worked. Maybe you wanted to try things on this side of the world. Or perhaps you were just happy doing it. Whatever it is, that reason is important. Your “why” is important. Your root cause matters. The reasons hyped by the media, the Twitteratti, competitors, don’t matter as much. When you know why you became an entrepreneur in the first place, the only story that matters is the one between your two ears.
Gratification needn’t be instant
The world runs on instant gratification today. The instant like, the instant comment, the instant live. However, this quick dopamine boost does more harm than good. The reality is, all good things take time and effort. True love, true relationships, true friendship, true meaning and fulfilment in work, true well being - physical, mental, emotional. The quicker we realise good things don’t come quickly, the more we will enjoy the daily small actions towards the long journey, even if they don’t give instant rewards.
Self-imposed feelings
There is always a reason behind how we feel. If the reason for that feeling is someone else, why blame ourselves? It will pass. If we are the reason, why blame someone else? It's time to fix it. The key is to find the source. Our feelings are self-imposed. If we can create them, we can end them too.
Creativity and content
Creating content is less about new ideas on a random day. It’s more of a process. Showing up each day. Documenting what we did. Being ourselves. Creating content even when we don’t get the muse. And listening to the audience about what lights them up. If we keep on doing it consistently without worrying about it to monetise, the power of compounding will take us places even we couldn’t imagine. But the universal caveat remains unchanged: Creativity shows up when we do.
Best way to get a job, a client, a freelancing gig?
"Work for them before working for them". Instead of showing what you can do, or have done, assume you are working for them and do the work. Send them that work. Or just share it online.
Baggage of experience
We keep running after work experience. We think it will make us better at what we do. But experience comes with its own baggage — a blind belief that what we know is what is right. However, it is the maturity of realising that we are constantly learning, that things are constantly changing, and what we know today might not work tomorrow. A truly experienced person knows when to use and when to challenge that experience.
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