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When we meet someone, we talk to them respectfully.
That, however, isn’t true respect.

It is built by choosing how we define the other person, when they are not around.

True respect is respecting someone even when we are not in front of them.

How to not get affected by criticism?

Is it even possible to not overthink it?

Whenever we are affected by criticism, an important reminder to ask ourselves is – how do we feel when the opposite happens? How do we feel when we hear praise?

Because if we feel really good when someone appreciates us, we unconsciously hand over the remote control to our emotions. That remote control will determine our state of mind for good and for the bad.

To not get affected by criticism, start with not getting affected by praise.

Calmness is power.

We are taught to admire the extraordinary.
To be inspired by them.
To want to become them.

But…

We are raised to become ordinary.
To follow a template.
To take the path already taken.

To admire is easy. To get inspired is easy.
To become extraordinary is not easy. Because we haven’t been taught how!

Maybe you’ve opted for a course because your family wanted to.
Or you are still struggling to decide.

Maybe you feel lost in your job.

A lot of people feel this emotion because they feel they have to “settle” down in their 20’s.
You don’t have to!

20’s are meant for exploring, trying out multiple things, and most importantly, never settling.

It’s okay to not know what you need to do.
It’s okay to know that you don’t know.
It’s okay to do something different than what is mentioned in your degree.
It’s okay to not be okay when things are not okay.
It’s perfectly okay (read: important) to pursue your happiness.

The best way to spend your 20s is realising there is no best way to spend your 20s.

You responded impulsively.

Had no choice.

The matter happened in a spur of a moment.

That, although, is far from the truth.

Between every stimulus (angry human, instant challenge, etc.) and every response (responding with more anger, feeling fearful) there lies a window of 0.25 second.
And in that window, lies our opportunity to choose.

We can choose anger. Or be calm.

We can choose fear. Or be strong to face the situation.

We can choose nothing. Or we can be aware that we have a choice.

Every impulsive decision was not an impulse.

It was a result of giving up the choice to think and respond.

Elon Musk is a genius.
He has created his own orbit (pun intended).
Not only that, he’s widely successful at that.

But, what is the real reason behind his success?

His unique idea? His leadership style? His tweets?
It’s courage.

Courage to launch the satellite seventh time after failing six times.
Courage to support himself when no one else did.
Courage to take the punch in the face as a gear to move forward.

Failure is inevitable.

But every success in life is a direct function of how courageous we were after failing.

Whom do we call a wise person?

Is it someone who knows everything?
Someone who has strong convincing skills?
Someone who believes in what they say?

A wise person is someone who does what is right, without the intention of convincing others.

They do not care what people say about them.
They care about the impact they intentionally make.

They do not work to impress those around.
They do their own thing and let their brand be made from there.

When someone doesn’t feel the need to show they’re wise, they’re truly wise.

Today’s generation is under immense pressure.
It’s the pressure of self-doubt more than anything else.
This self-doubt is led by the view that everyone else, except them, has it figured out.

People seem to be eating the nicest looking food.
Wearing the nicest looking clothes.
Clicking the nicest looking selfies.

We think the other person’s life is sorted.
We think that we are not good enough.

What we fail to realise is that others are going through the same anxiety as we are!

At times, all you need to know is that you are not alone in feeling what you are feeling.

We have all made a big mistake at some point.
A mistake so big, that we couldn’t believe ourselves.

Yet, with time and self-reflection, we forgive ourselves.

We move on.

Then how is it that we do not forgive someone else when they make a big mistake?

Why are our standards of acceptance very hard for others, while very easy to percolate for us?

What stops us from forgiving others?

Forgiving others must come as easy as it comes to our own selves.

If I could go back in time, I would tell my 20-year old self this:

This decade is when you will be judged the most.

Your college.
Your job.
Your car.
Your phone.
Your clothes.
Your choices.

Here’s the thing:
People judge you because they want to feel good about themselves.

It has nothing to do with you!
It is their insecurity.

To all the 20-year olds reading this…

You are not wrong.
You are simply different.
You are simply you!

Keep doing you :)