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Words. Wisdom. Winners.

Why do we feel angry?

Anger is an unhealthy emotion. So we want to control it. However, when it arrives, it arrives in a wave sweeping all our resolutions away.

No matter how much you resist it, anger wins each time.

The key is in not resisting it. 

Yes, you read that right. Don’t resist anger. Rather spend time with it. 

“Why do I feel what I feel?
Which need of mine is unmet?
Why am I letting my denial take over where I could have an open mind rather than being a sceptic?”

As we answer these questions honestly, there would be no need to resist anger. 

Because then it won’t arise in the first place.

The extreme emotions are usually a result of not spending time consistently with our own selves.

Two mantras of life

Two mantras of life I live by, that I recently told my team:

  1. Never complain: Never. Ever. Even if it is the worst day of your life to date. It robs us of our power and tricks us into believing that we don’t have any.
  2. Trust: Trust people for what they say. Living life with that sense of awe and wonder, to never let doubt creep in. If someone else’s lies comfort them, what’s the point for us to be discomforted by that?

Two extremes. Never and always. 

When you take care of never complaining and always trusting, the balance that forms in between takes care of everything else.

Baggage of experience

We keep running after work experience. 

We think it will make us better at what we do.
But experience comes with its own baggage — a blind belief that what we know is what is right.

However, it is the maturity of realising that we are constantly learning, that things are constantly changing, and what we know today might not work tomorrow.

A truly experienced person knows when to use and when to challenge that experience. 

Is it even trust?

We have this habit of checking the strength of our relationships, every now and then.
“Let’s see if they can be trusted.”

The minute we test it, we break it.
It is either earned or established through conduct.
It’s not to be tested.

To test trust, is to not have it.

What determines success?

IQ, aka how smart you are, once used to be the biggest determinant of success. 

Then came the EQ.
Empathising with people made us better leaders and effective communicators.

The world evolved and everything around us is now designed to attract our attention.
Thus, making it priceless for the ability to devote our 100% attention without being distracted. 

It’s not the IQ; it’s not the EQ; it’s not their combination either.
The ability to focus is the most significant determinant of success.

Who will you be tomorrow?

It’s unfair to compare our progress with someone who is just starting out, and feel good about ourselves. 

Just like it is unfair to compare ourselves with someone who has been at it longer than us, and feel bad about ourselves.

Different durations. Different people. Different destinations.
Then why the same place of comparison?

Why not compare ourselves with who we were yesterday?
It’s fair, we know the one being compared to really well, and the best part, we can make any change we want to! 

It’s not about who we are today.
It’s about who we will be tomorrow, from who we were yesterday.

You will constantly be judged

Your college.
Your job.
Your car.
Your phone.
Your clothes.
Your choices. 

Remember that people judge because they want to feel good about themselves.
It has nothing to do with you.
It is their insecurity.

5 types of toxic people to avoid

1) The Energy Drainer: 

You feel tense and uneasy after each interaction with them.

2) The Pessimist: 

They have a negative outlook of the world.
Always try to talk you out of your dreams.

3) The Criticizer: 

They don’t support you in your decisions.
They criticize every move you make.
They make you feel like you can’t do anything right.

4) The Manipulator: 

They try to control everything. 

Pretend to like you and other people.
But they just want to make every decision for themselves and others.

5) The Victim: 

They blame others for their misfortune.
Constantly seek attention from others.
Talk mostly about their excuse for failing.

Which of these have you encountered the most? 

Harder question: 

Which of these are you often?

A timeless skill for success

While you are building your skills, the most important thing to build is your reputation.

Your goal is to make people say “I am not sure if they know how to do it. But I am certain if told to do it, they will definitely figure it out. I trust them.”

A fact about success that most people overlook

Success is made up of 99% small things done on a daily basis.

You do not have to be immensely talented and gifted in order to be successful at work and in life.

All you have to optimise for is showing up and doing the work.
Every. Single. Day.

Even when it seems boring.
Even when you don’t feel like it.

The most successful people are basically successful at staying consistent.Consistency beats talent and natural gifts.
Heck, it even beats luck.

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