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1. When speaking to people, look into their eyes.
It makes you look attentive and unbiased.

In virtual meetings, look into the camera pinhole and not their face (will take some time getting used to).
That way, you look straight into their eyes.

2. Asking simple questions with predictable answers makes you instantly likeable.

That’s why, start a first meeting with standard questions.
“Where are you from?”
“What do you do?”
“Who all are in your family?

3. If you want people to agree with you, begin by asking for a small favour that they will say yes to.

It could be anything.
Even something as basic as “Could you please pass me that pen?”

Chances are high they will agree/say yes to what you ask after.

4. To show that you are listening, keep nodding.
It will make them express more.

Ranveer Allahbadia is a master at this.

5. Your last impression is just as important, if not more, than your first impression.People’s memory of an experience is heavily dependent on how it ended.
Make that last impression count.

Someone is not respecting you for your work.
Someone else took your important project lightly. Someone else made fun of you.

All this keeps you questioning yourself.

“Am I doing things right? Do I deserve to be here? Maybe they all are right!”

When they don’t treat us right, it’s rarely because of us.
They’re themselves dealing with a lot.
Sometimes even without being aware.

Your value is a measure of what you bring to the table, your confidence and cool, and how you have the courage to figure things out when the plan has failed. 

It is rarely a function of what others do to you.

Pegging your value to how others treat you is like pegging your health to the health of others. Hardly correlated.

When you’re alone, it is super important to pay attention to your thoughts.

“What am I thinking about? Why am I thinking only what could get worse? What if I expect good things as much as I anticipate bad ones? What else could this mean?”

It turns out – what we end up doing in the world is largely a product of what we end up thinking in solitude.

In solitude, our attitude builds up.
In lack of it, we’re just a product of succumbing to someone else’s product of solitude.
The last thing we’d signed up for.

Imposter syndrome isn’t reserved for a few. 

Almost everyone suffers from it, multiple times during their lifetime.
Thus, coming up with a process is the way to deal with it:

1. Helpful vs best. You cannot be the best in the world yet whatever you do know, use it to help people.
2. There will always be someone better than you. That automatically takes off a lot of load.
3. Try not to be the imposter that you were. Being a little better than yesterday is the best progress. You’re giving yourself time. That’s the best thing!

Compounding is less about mathematics.
It’s more about our temperament.

Do we get anxious when things don’t work out immediately?
Are we patient with life?
Do we believe in small things working out big miracles because of consistency?

The kind of person we are would end up deciding the kind of investor we become.
Money doesn’t change us. It just magnifies who we are.

There are 3 things that can help us gain confidence:

1. Seeking feedback from people who genuinely want us to progress.
   
2. Measuring progress because that helps us see ourselves moving forward.
   
3. Knowing ourselves.
   
   Knowing if we are the best.
   And knowing that if we are not, we will do everything in our capacity to become the best.

To get confident, we need something to be confident about.
It doesn’t need to be our strengths only. It can very well be our progress.

Often we are told that the most powerful people are the ones who never make mistakes.

We’re also told that making mistakes is a sign of weakness. That, if we make mistakes, we are not powerful. So what do we do?
We hide them.

But when we look at the most powerful people in the world, their strength isn’t in not making mistakes. Their strength lies in admitting that they made one.
It lies in making sure it never gets repeated.
And when another mistake comes their way, their strength lies in admitting it again!We can’t escape making mistakes.
It’s the courage to own up to these mistakes that makes us powerful.

If you often find people around you saying, “You’ve changed!”
“You were not like this.”
“You are not the same anymore!”

And if you are confused – Should you change? Should you not?
You think people will dislike you.
People will leave if you aren’t who they want you to be anymore!

Here is the truth:

We all change. We just don’t realize it.
But it’s the realisation of the conscious change that sets us apart.

When people say you’ve changed, they never think about how you’ve changed.
It’s about how they couldn’t.

You are a CA today.
You do not have to be a CA forever!

You are an engineer today.
You do not have to be an engineer forever!

You are a journalist today.
You do not have to be a journalist forever!

Do not define your future by who you are presently.

90% of what happened to me in my 20s was because of luck.

I am that guy who was at the right place at the right time and lucked out.
And as much as I am grateful for that, I wish I knew better.

Today I know, 20s should be used to discover yourself, as against stabilizing yourself.
Meet as many people as you can.
Do as many jobs as you can.
Explore as many streams as you can.

Find out what you are good at and what makes you happy.

And then spend your 30s doing that.