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Why is there so much hate in the world?
Why do people love putting others down?

When a kid is born, they are just their natural self. Happy. Curious. Non-judgemental. Free-flowing. 

They were not born knowing how to hate, how to ridicule or how to discriminate against people based on their colour, caste, religion.

So if we see hate around us, it is because we were taught how to hate. One hate at a time, compounded over many years.

All the hatred that we see around the world was taught by someone.

Think about that for a second.

What we teach someone, is what becomes their life.

What becomes their life, is what becomes the world we live in.

Growing up isn’t just about crossing numbers.
Growing up is about learning to let go.

Letting go when we’ve been betrayed.
Not because what they did was right.
Instead, because we do not wish to be stuck there.

Because we don’t want to be a replica of them.
Because we do not seek revenge.

We have grown up when we don’t allow a betrayal to stop us from moving on.

If we are looking for a new job, what is the one thing we want? A great pay? An understanding boss? Work-life balance? Great learning?

When we are starting up, what is the one thing we are optimizing for? Funding? Fame? A great team? Great culture? High growth?

While working out, what is the one thing we want? A lean body? A muscular body? Stamina? Strength?

We can get exponential results only when we know what is the one thing we want.

It’s one of my favourite questions to ask – what is the one thing you truly want from life?

Because clarity is power. And awareness is everything!

If we don’t know what we want, then the next thing we want is everything.

And wanting everything will never lead us to the most important thing.

You are jealous of how much they earn.
The vacation they took.
The home they bought.

We are jealous of what others have and we don’t.

And we tell ourselves, “If we somehow could get what they have, life would become better.”

But that isn’t true.

Because we don’t just get part of someone’s life. We get their ENTIRE life. 

The stress.
The lack of privacy.
The constant scrutiny.
The intense pressure.

People’s lives are not modular. We can’t choose the parts we like.
If we are jealous of them, we should be ready to take on their entire life. 

As a kid, we may not be given everything.
Maybe we didn’t have all the love in the family.
Maybe we did not go out like all other kids.
Maybe we were denied that shiny lunchbox.

However, what we got was something more special: the ability to appreciate everything.
And when we did get everything that we couldn’t as a child, it made us realise its value even more.

Not having everything is the biggest luxury of childhood. 

When something bad happens, everyone says they’re in a lot of pain.
However, this pain that you are going through — only you can truly feel it.
No one else can.

Only you know what’s going on with you.
Everyone else sees the world through their own biased lens.

It is your pain.
It is your journey.
And it is only your understanding.

Social media.
Junk food
Video games
Alcohol
Drugs

Are these the biggest additions?

We are not addicted to these things.
We are addicted to the feelings that these things generate.

And all addictions generate a feeling of comfort.
Which makes us numb. 

When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with failure.
Instead we get comfortable with what we have.

When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with risk.
Instead we get comfortable with safety.

When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with challenges.
Instead we get comfortable with appreciation. The biggest addiction is comfort.
Because we don’t change and challenge ourselves anymore.

When we are real and vulnerable on social media, we are inevitably going to face haters.
And they might end up saying things that affect us..

Whenever that happens, here’s a question to ask ourselves: “Would we go to them for their advice when we need it?”

If we wouldn’t take their advice for anything, it certainly doesn’t make sense to take their hate seriously. 

Negativity coming your way isn’t your choice.
You taking in the negativity certainly is.

A kid is told “no” 400 times a day while growing up.  

So as we morph into adults, that behavior gets reflected in everything that we do. It results in “no” being our default response to everything.

This has never been done.
Are you crazy?
What’s going on in your mind that you’re thinking of doing this?

What was taught to be shameful in childhood, might not be the reality.
When we question everything that we think is shameful, we might realize most of those things aren’t.

Our energy gets drained.
Enthusiasm lowers each time.
There is no feeling of being cared for.

These are the experiences we have with some of our friends. 

However, we were not born into those relationships. We chose them.
Since we chose them, we can also choose to get out of them. 

This isn’t mean or narcissistic. This is to save yourself from misery forever. When we take energy-draining people out of our lives, we stand up to appreciate ourselves. And that’s an act of self-love.

It’s okay to fire your friends.
If we don’t, we are firing our energy, our optimism.