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In ancient Eastern culture, trees used to be very thick and deeply rooted. It was impossible to cut them.

So, in order to kill them, the villagers used to gather around the trees and call them names. Abused them relentlessly. Kept telling them they didn’t serve any purpose. They were useless. Over a period of a few days, the trees would eventually die.

Sometimes, we end up doing the exact same thing to people

When we bring someone’s morale down, we kill them.
When we tell them they are inadequate and worthless, we kill them.
And most importantly, we kill them when we tell them that they aren’t required.

Eventually, the person dies.

We do not have the power to bring life.
But we do have the power to appreciate that life.

“Was it okay?
Did you like what I said?
Do I look good?
Do you love me?”

Of all the needs that we have, the need for validation always makes us weak.

Waiting for someone else to tell us that we are right.
Asking people to be our cheerleaders, because we can’t be our own.
Basing our identity on the perceptions and stories of others.
What if we started telling ourselves that we are enough?

What if we knew that it’s okay to be a work in progress?

How would things change if we knew from within that we are doing our best, and raising the bar every single day?

Till the time we base our identity on what others think, we will keep getting weaker.
And never discover how strong we truly are within.

When a baby elephant is born, one of its legs is tied to a chain.
It doesn’t have much strength as a baby, so it cannot break it and run away.

Tired of trying over and over again, the baby elephant finally gives up. It has now accepted this chain as the new normal.

Over some time, it grows up to become an adult, fully mature elephant.
A strong elephant capable of breaking away from the chains that have held it all this while.
However, it still doesn’t break that chain.
It still believes: “I have tried and I haven’t succeeded.. What is the point of even trying anymore?”

And that’s our story as well. 

We have become stronger, yet we believe we cannot break past the chain.
We have the power, yet we lack the courage.
We know we can move forward today, yet we decide to live like who we were yesterday.

What if we asked ourselves: “Am I still tied to a chain that I couldn’t break in the past?”

You are one day stronger today.  You have the strength. All you need is courage. To break the chain. Of your mind.

Different career streams to choose from.
Two job offers to pick from.
Deciding whom to build a relationship with.

There are numerous such instances where we face two not so obvious choices to make. And we often find ourselves saying, “I don’t know what to do.”

Do we really not know?

I think mostly we all know what to do. But we crave to know if it’s the right decision. We spend an inordinate time analysing, researching, planning, debating, thinking – in the hope to get to the right decision.

But we won’t ever know if it’s the right decision, until we make the decision.
And this thought paralyses us.

When we say “I don’t know what to do,” what we usually imply is, “I don’t know if the decision I make will work out or not”.

We don’t fear making the decision.
We fear an undesirable outcome.

We all have a definition of who is a poor person. Someone who doesn’t have a lot of money

That’s financial poverty. 

But there is another definition of poverty – mental poverty.

A state where someone is not satisfied with what they have, no matter how much that is.
A state where we fail to recognize that we already have a lot to be grateful for.
A state where one is consistently in need of more, because they never have enough.

Financial poverty is visible to others, mental poverty lies within.
Some people are so poor that all they have is money.

You asked for their help.
They refused.

Maybe they didn’t want to help.
Perhaps they were not in a position to help.

Couple of days later, they need your help. 

If you can help them, should you?
Or should you make this the best time to seek revenge?

Asking for help is good.
Not taking it personally when we don’t receive the help is better.
Not being personal when the same person asks for help is great!

Maturity in life is when someone rejects us and we don’t take it personally.
Bigger maturity is when they come back for our help and we help them.
Just because we can.

If you’re driving on the highway, you choose your speed, within the limits. 

As you enter the city, you don’t own the speed anymore.

The clutter on the roads, the traffic and speed of others defines your speed. 

That’s true for life as well.

We don’t own our pace, when we are cluttered.

Cluttered with emotions, desires, stories, people telling us what to do.
To get to the speed we want, we have to declutter our life and get from the city to the highway mode in our life.

To own our speed, it isn’t enough to drive our life. Who and what we drive it with matters just as much. 

What do I look for in candidates while hiring?

Not their college. Not their work experience. Or their family background.

For me, it’s always curiosity.

Why are we doing what we’re doing?
What would this look like if it were easier?
What is this trying to teach me? 
What’s the root cause to solve for?

The curious minds fall in love with the problems instead of solutions.
They enjoy the process instead of the final product.

They know that they don’t know everything.
And that is the best thing to know.

I love working with curious minds who are obsessed with asking the right questions. 

“There is no one right answer. Only better questions.”
– Tim Ferris

All our lives, we are surrounded by voices.

What we should be doing.
What we should be thinking.
How we should be doing things.

Instead of clearing up the smoke, these voices end up creating more.

Mystic and philosopher Rumi once said: “There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.”

What that voice is trying to tell us, nobody else would be able to.
Because we are the only ones who are listening to that voice.

That voice is the voice with clarity. 
Only if we are willing to listen.

How do we live a life of integrity?
A life of honesty?
A life where we do not have to second-guess our thoughts and actions?

Roman Stoic Philosopher Seneca said: 

“We should live our lives as if everyone could see us.”

What would we do differently if everyone could see us?
What would we stop doing altogether?

More than anything else, how would that change our life?

When we assume everyone can see us, we stop lying to the world. 

And that is the first step to stop lying to ourselves.