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Kuch Is Tara

I have to thank SL for the song…its truly the best gift she could have given me…

at 12.49am…after you have been up for 20 hrs…and have gone without food for 8 hrs…the power of music is such that it forces you to write…to express…to feel…

i never knew i would say this so soon…but i hate consulting when it comes to staying away from home…it just doesnt feel worth it….but i know that something will make me wake up tomorrow…all charged up…willing to conduct interviews with CEOs and then eye excel sheets till the sun drops dead…

such is life…

btw…i have decided to start a series by the name of “Mornings with Sunday”. Wherein R and I will head out for a location…wherever we are…every other Sunday, for a photo expedition and a general ‘get to know the place’ kind of trip.

We started last sunday with Surajkund, Haryana. Will share the snaps and the experience soon…once am home.

life’s good…kuch is tara…

~a

Alienwan 2008 – the 10 point YES

Before anyone asks, let me give you the answers

1. Yes, the marriage did happen…check out the snaps at www.picasaweb.google.com/warikoo

2. Yes, married life is actually good…and there is nothing to be scared of. However, you should be fine with the fact that there no longer exists the concept of ‘sleeping on the bed as if you own it’ or ‘i am just going to surf porn for the next 2 hrs cause i got nothing better to do’ or ‘i will only watch NDTV cause that the only channel with a brain’ or ‘no one read my sms – do you get it?’

3. Yes, I watched Taare Zameen Par and think it yet another confirmation on the phenomenon called Aamir Khan. Needless to say, the movie has and will continue to move a lot of people…including the baby girl in the bus who will grow up to realize that Aamir Khan himself helped her mum change the nappy. Its surely an entry for the Oscars this year and I wont be surprised if karan marries Shahrukh…err…delete delete…the movie wins..!

4. Yes, life has been crazy ever since we have come back from the honeymoon…both work-wise and personally. After much deliberation we decided to stay with my parents, but not before we had bought everything for the new house. So a distress sale happened…some people got lucky and some people just realized why a distress sale is called so…

5. Yes, we have tried to get our marriage registered…but the government still believe that a gazetted officer is required to attest the photo…cause heck…the passport with the snap just isnt enough…! and there are still some people who think citizens will pay 2K to get the certificate done in a day. Did anyone tell them that the certificate is not so much required by the couple than by the government???

6. Yes, I did get promoted! which felt great cause I wasnt expecting it.

7. YES…YES…YES….i am broke after marriage…at one point of time i had exactly 69 bucks in my account…and the only position that should come to your mind reading the figure is bankruptcy and not something else…

8. Yes…secondshaadi is doing fantastic….has broken even…and we are right now in profits. TV campaign scheduled to start soon…and our new venture is coming up on feb 2008. watch out for it…

9. Yes, I have decided on a few to-dos for this year…get some lessons in photography, go on atleast 3 photo-expeditions, start seriously thinking about quitting work and starting something on my own, get a car for parents, get working on my house and yes…blog atleast 100 posts this year…

10. yes…yessss…yessssss…yesssssssssss….ooops..sorry…got busy with something else…

enjoy 2008 folks…!

~a

auto pilot mode….

just one piece of advice my friend…just one piece…

dont question anything…they think its a fantastic idea to have shehnai playing next to the DJ…heck it is….they think that you cant meet her entire next week till the actual wedding day…so be it…they think flowers on the ground will look better than flowers on the table…oh you bet they would….they think getting a kashmiri singer to sing for 6 hours and paying him 13 grand is all fine…yes it is..

…they think they know better…ofcourse they do….

…just be in the auto pilot mode…drive…dont direct….

so be it….

am off people….marriage is knocking on my door…and the parents of all single women in this world are hosting a global party to celebrate the occasion..

everyone’s invited…

catch you in november…

~a

Investment Strategy 101

Market drops 10%…relpet drops 13% to 159

Trading stalled

SEBI issues clarification on PN – it is not banned…just being controlled…!!

Market bound to bounce back now.

Buy 1,00,000 worth of relpet at 11.30am at 163 – under margin trading

Sell relpet at 179 at 2pm

10% gain in single day…!!

God bless the SEBI…

PS: not much work today…

yeh to bada toin hain….

belive me if you wish to…but this is actually the motto of our new project…! its a tough piece to work on…data is as scarce as images of rakhi sawant hiding her assets and instances of bappi lahiri adressing himself as bappi lahiri and not Mr. Bappi Lahiri…

so basically…yah…the project bada toin hain…!! i am sure you are not one of who those doesnt hv a friggin clue of what i am talking about

which brings me to a few ads that i have seen/heard lately…and hv got me questioning the fundamental of mankind. ok…whatever…not as far…but definitely questioning some fundamental…lying someplace…

1. Laxmi Chachi

some dude told me that its Reema Lagoo in there….and i was like….bullshit…get out of here….she is like…mom dude…she is Mother India. there is no way in hell that she would be seen on national TV stretching panties…

but holy friggin shit its true…its really true

i mean why….why woudl anyone….anyyyyyone…do this..!! it couldnt be possibly money….especially not reema lagoo…she is friggin mom everywhere…! omnipresent….! jst like himesh bhaiya…! u think of celluloid moms (why doesnt this sound right…?? nevermind)…and you think of her..! and here she is…going through rounds of elasticity to such gory details…!! eeessshhhh…in utpal dutt style….

2. Ravi Nursing Home

so..i admit…i am a convert….! from believing that indian radio sucks real BIG TIME…i hv atleast started dedicatig office driving time to Fever 104…and quite like the channel and the RJ lokesh. but no..it wasnt his ad…

i believe it was world heart day sometime back…and i hear this marvel of an ad on radio…

“celebrate the world heart day with a 20% discount on bypass surgery at the Ravi Nursing Home. SMS heart to 5 something something”

WTF..!!!

so lemme attempt to enter the mind of the patient here…and gather his internal response on hearing the ad

“oh wow…20% discount…awesome shit…i have to get that long postponed bypass surgery now…darling chale???”

“toooooooo much…20% discount…joy to the world…i better cancel my apollo hospital reservation and check in to the ravi nursing home. consumer is the king…”

“OMGGGGG…i mean…OM friggin GGGGG….i had to hear this right on the day after my by pass surgery…here i am …wasted all my savings on a stupid operation…and this gem of a deal comes and goes bham…!! right in my head…shit shit….shitttt….a..aaahhhh…aaahhhh…mera dil…koi hain…koi hainnnn….dil mein dard…koi hainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn”

moronic material man…moronic..!! my to-do list before 30 has another item…meet the creator of this ad…

any other masterpieces from the indian land…??? please share…

~a

0313

…its no more ‘changing the face of media and entertainment’

…its no more leaving office at 7pm

…its no more sleeping at 12 noon…after 2 hrs of browsing

…its no more waking up excited at the prospects of meeting ‘someone’ today


…its about oil and gas now…

…its pipelines…

…its tiring…tiring…

…its 0313 hrs…

…its about checking into the hotel right now and checking out at 0800 hrs…



…its still abt waking up excited at the thought of the marriage vacation starting next week…

JOY…!

~a

a new piece….

i can see SL nodding her head…when i say that i love to use the word ‘piece’ for my projects..!! so yeah…i started on a new piece last week…and its been crazy since then. its not like the ones which gives you an orgasm…but ok…with only 3 weeks to go before i take off for marriage…i dont mind collecting hotel and frequent flier points….

PK and KM got married…and it was a blast of a week…i mean awesome fun…! i can almost see that my marriage wont be even half as much fun…PK was actually with us all the nights…except for the first night ofcourse….chatting away to glory…drinking happily…and just generally having a good time. while i will be thrust upon relatives..who will not only want to apply mehendi on me..there will also be the quintessential “khushi ke aansoon” at every 12 nanoseconds….

the only saving grace will be the fact that loads of people are coming down for the wedding…so a mini reunion of sorts is expected…right from school, college…to ofcourse isb….

life is expected to be busy for a long time now…so lets see when we catch up next….

till then…

…life’s good…

~a

faith like a child…

set apart its capacity, coolness and the ability to make the CD look obsolete…i love my iPod for the simple reason that it helps me connect to my past so effortlessly. as long as i remember, music has formed an integral part of life…and somehow each phase of my life has a song attached to it.

i wont mention a particular song lest daddy will kill me for bringing it up again…but a whole lot of other songs too bring back memories of a life once lived…and emotions once felt…

this morning…heard one such number…

took me back to possibly the longest phase of self-doubt i have experienced…

strange how it took just this one song to get me back…

…they say that i can move the mountains…
…and send them crashing to the sea…
…they say that i can walk on water…
…if i follow and believe…
…with faith like a child…

– Faith like a child; Jars of Clay


Jars of Clay is a gospel rock band…they sing songs in praise of the lord…and do an awesome job at it….! it might be tough to get your hands on a CD in India…but if you do….grab it..!

~a

Srinagar…chak de…and 203…

went for a fantastic vacation to srinagar (after 20 years) with family…from the 15-19 of August.

some memories from the place…

http://picasaweb.google.com/warikoo/JKTripAug2007
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during my recent engagement, there was a time when we were trying to understand the film business in India. typically the first response of anyone would be…its a gamble…no one really knows what will work. which seems obvious….i mean cmon…Himes bhaiya kicked everyone’s ass with his debut…and no one has ever attempted a murder attack on bappi lahiri…and ofcourse…KJo (or karan johar for the straight population) still thinks that KANK was his best attempt at maturity…!!

so yeah….at first glance…the industry seems to be not driven by any logic…! what works…what wil work…no one knows…so people jst continue making films in the hope of that pot of luck…

but then…being consultants…with the word anal used as a prefix….it didnt make sense..! a frggin USD 2Bn industry…running on zero logic…! is there no way to ensure atleast a high probability…

and thats when the last week…threw the answer…

last sunday…i watched Chak De
yesterday…i watched Victoria No. 203…

and the difference….wow..!!

Chak De India

i admit…for the first time…SRK wasnt himself. people said that it was the same in Swades too…but frankly i didnt see it. The movie completely rested on him…and he had his moments of ‘pulling back his free flowing hair in the midst of a storm’…! i mean…why the f does he need to run all the way upto the water tank…take off his shirt…and plunge into it to discover that the opening had been choked..there were fifty friggin people standing next to the tank…and all with their shirts off already…! lekin nahi…main to SRK hoon…main hoon naa…

anyways..so yeah…the first time that he wasnt himself. the story was simple…yet unique and powerful. and the director did full justice to it. each and every shot was there for a purpose…the editing was crisp…and we didnt get to see too much of SRK..! the girsl were ofcourse…yes yes…preeti sabharwal included…awesome. komal chautala was an absolute gem…

ofcourse SRK had to piss me off at some point of time…but surprisingly that come through in the movie. rather in an interview…where Mr Khan states…
“the movie required me to wear a beard all the time. it was really stressful for me”
we understand Mr. Khan…we totally do….! not only would the beard have ensured that KJo didnt come close to you for the entire period…it mst have been torturous for your fans to not see your dimple…and your oh so cute cheeks. we understand…

but the main point is…i loved the movie…every bit of it…! its those types whose DVD can be bought…and stored…maybe never watched…but you have that solace that its there…and you can watch it anytime…!

so there….a powerful production house…(YRF)…fantastic direction and editing…perfect placement of songs…powerful performances….and u have a winner..!

now you would want to believe that everyone knows this…but heck…no….

Victoria No. 203

And the best performance in a supporting role…goes to Dora’s bra…!!! and you have to watch the movie to know what i am talking about…!

why…why on earth…would a woman agree for such a role..! money cudnt be jst it..!! but anyways…so this lady…with the screen name dora….apparently a ninja in the movie…steals these diamonds…but not before she decides to show the world her cleavage…all thru the robbery.

you know…i dont understand much of camera work and direction…!! but i sure know somethings that i am convinced everyone does as well….

1. when you rapel down a building….its NEVER…face down…
2. when the artist approaches the camera…and even comes within 12 inches of the camera…the camera shud ideally move back as well….

ofcourse…the reasons why the 2 didnt happen in the movie are obvious….even to women for a change..! in short…disgusting..!!

the movie apart from this….horrible. it had its share of good laughs…thanks to Om puri and Anupam Kher…who are masters in their field but were clearly made to underperform…! but overall…no concept of editing…no concept of song placement…or for that matter song lyrics…(imagine the actors trying to find the lock which fits the key they have…and they burst into a song on the road…”help me please…to find the locker…find the locker…help me please…”)

and some actors were born to overact..! i think kamal sadanah is one of them…or maybe even heads that organization…! imagine producing the movie (its his production) and then sealing its fate by acting in it as well..! crap..!!

so there…another piece of garbage…
…almost twice the size of hollywood…and 1/10th in value…!!!

~a

go…Indigo..

life as a consultant always gears you up for an alternative career as a hotel and airline critic….! and yeah…ofcourse…rental car service critic too..! which reminds me…why do all the cabs…even the ones running in the evening, carry yesterday’s newspaper..! and why do i still read them..?

anyways…so yeah…hotel and airline critic. hotels are for later…but recently i realized that i have flown all the airlines in the indian skies…! so here…

Indian
I strongly protest the name firstly…! given how they perform…all that we will hear is…Indian food sucks…Indian is never on time…Indian women are old…and rude…and well…at times you need time to figure out that they are women…!

that said…who am i to complain of the name. but for hevens sake..if i buy a ticket…plz…plz…dont jst give me a craft to fly in..and a seat to sit on..! give me some respect as well…!

“Ummm…could I have today’s financial express?”
“we dont carry all the newspaper in this country”

“some water please?”
“can i first finish giving everyone their food…”

“please dont disturb me for the meals. i am full and would like to sleep”
“sir…sir…sir…(shaking me left and right…GET UP YOU BUGGER)…ma’am..he is not getting up…sir…sir…ah yes…sir…would you like veg or non-veg…?”

please…please…dont fly those…! please….


Jet
Has got to have the best frequent flier program..! fantastic upgrades….and beautiful service..! ofcourse…sexy flight timings…and great confort. so my personal first choice…

but then….they overdo it…

“sir…veg or non-veg”
“no i am fine…wont have anything”
“are you sure sir?”
“yes…pretty much…thank you…”
“can i get you some fruits”
“no please…thanks”
“sure sir..?”
“(mataji…maine kal chacha ke chole bhature khaye the….aur mujhe dast lag gayi hain. agar maine kuch khaaya…to yahaan nadiyaan beh jayenge…and u know of what…so plz…can i not have anything…) Yes…thanks again”


Air Deccan
i hereby declare the eighth wonder of the world. Air Deccan landing each time it takes off…! with the state of their crafts and the way the pilots run those machines…its sheer miracle at play. maybe we should call gopinath a saint..!

I remember…while at ISB…AD was my fav airline. one cause that was the only one i could afford from hyd to delhi for my home trips…and two cause i handt flown anything else except jet. and that was at a time when the del-mumbai return ticket used to cost in numbers as bappi lahiri has gold in kgs..! basically shit loads…! until AD arrived and changed everything…

but then it jst lost it mid-way. if you arrive at any airport…the only passenger counter with the max passengers…and the max chaos will be it.

and recently…i read this as an Advertisement for AD.

“We have 99% OTP (on time performance)”
the fine print….which was in a font size smaller than all roles of rakhi sawant in bollywood put together…said…OTP measures if a flight has arrived/departed within an hour of its scheduled arrival/departure time..!
holy friggin shit…! this means that 1% of all AD flights actually land an hr after scheduled time..!! and they fly some 350 flights a day….so 4 flights daily with this statistic…!! horrible…!

Spicejet
a late entrant in the no-frills space…but has done itself a lot of good..! decent airlines with great potential. have only flown it once…so cant really comment…

Indigo
This has got to take the cake. an absolute delight to fly this. one thing smart that they do is to allow buffer time on their stated arrival time. so even though its factually incorrect…psychologically it works wonder. so all the times that i have flown Indigo….they have always landed much before their scheduled time..!

plush aircrafts…extremely friendly staff…brilliant comfort. right from the bus that takes you to the craft from the terminal…to the leg space and the seats itself.

funny is how these no-frills airlines dont expect business travellers at all. i boarded an indigo…to go to ISB last week…and was in my business suit. firstly…people couldnt stop getting amazed and amused at my attire…so much so that i checked myself if i still had my pants on….

i board the craft…and out of habit give my jacket to the airhostess. she politely…and quite regretfully informs that they dont have a provision to keep jackets…! nor did they have any business newspaper on board…! but i can live with these….

Kingfisher
always…and i mean…always…ask for the aisle seat. and if you have flown kingfisher…you know why…! great service…horrible food…and no concept of cost cutting. i appreciate them handing that passenger kit..but frankly…why waste that bit. has any customer research been undertaken to see what all frm that kit is actually carried out by the passenger…? i see the pen used a lot…but thats abt it..!

i hv written abt the airlines previously as well…so will attach an excerpt…

and then…we hv to give to mr mallaya. i mean…u get balls of steel to get yana gupta to speak hindi…let alone show how to unbuckle a seatbelt. the words tht she used were last used in 2000 BC…when the aryans were taking their first bullock cart ride…! i mean…who in gods name…uses “sunishchit…!!!” nowadays. i am sure in some part of the plane…a lady wud hv gone….”there…thats the name of my 1st kid…!!!” and the funniest part was blowing the lifejacket. it looked like a lipstick ad…! guys who travel kingfisher…watch out for this…! funny…

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recently have bid adieu to a lot of close folks at ATK. all of which have left for fantastic opportunities. Shintu left for his MBA…and why wouldnt he be happy…his school tops the FORBES list this year for the best RoI…! friggin shit..! a school has to have balls to have the best RoI on USD 120K..!! all the best dude…will surely miss u….

and then rintu…(for those who dont know…rintu…shintu are not brothers…but could have easily been so..! nor are these their real names….shintu is basically shambunath…and rintu is known as rinkle khanna…ok…kiddin..!)…left as well…in some ways back to where he belonged. it hurt…cause not only is he a true gem..he was also quite close…!

then today was the last day of one of my fav people at ATK. AC surprisingly isnt a consultant…but an executive assistant. so limited to our interactions…i struck a great chord with her. you know…its days such as these that one realizes how imp the admin people are in an org…!

you enter office and you have VJ…the face of ATK…with a smile…! and then the security guards…with that goodmorning sir…and again..a smile…and then you pass RM…who ofcourse is perpetually married to her life patner. who comes in white color and measures 2 inches…and NO…i am not talking about that..!! so anyways…RM is always all so lost to see me…but then an occasional…katrina kaif smile comes by…and then comes AC. always cheerful…always smiling…! and always ready to offer a helping hand.

and this makes me feel…is this a phenomenon that beats the law of averages. how can everyone in the firm be likeable..and be just at the right wavelength for you. how can everyone be so approachable…and so dependable…! but so be it…who is out there to disprove this….

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came back this sunday from a fantastic trip to srinagar. loads of pics to share….will do so by the next post…

till then…keep the faith…

life’s good…

~a


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