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You want a college senior’s help.
Or you want to reach out to a founder to seek their input on your business idea.
Maybe you want to reach out to someone experienced for just guidance. 

And quite often, we think we do not have anything to offer in return.
But that’s not the truth.
You do have something to offer.

The only difference is, it isn’t in return.
It is in advance.

What you can offer them is clarity on how they can help you.
You may have to research them online.
See what piques their interest.
Think about what you could do to have their attention.

And then, pitch them with your offering and the ask.

If you want to be helped, the best way is to start by helping them understand how.

You want your point to be heard.
After all, you are right. 

The other person also believes the same. 

The reality is that both of you are right.
With a different lens to view the world.

The best way to win the conversation, then, is to listen to them. 

It is in listening to them that we will also feel heard.
Don’t try to win conversations, try to have them instead.

Your colleagues are doing better than you.
The classmate who flunked in school is doing better. 

Everyone’s life seems sorted, other than your own.
And all this makes you worried.
Perhaps jealous of their success. 

But why are we jealous of it? 

Because we are not focused on our own success.
We haven’t found that calm while enjoying our own journey. 

If we are truly focused on our success, we can never be offended by someone else’s.

We are starting something new.

A new job.
A new relationship.
Moving to a new city.
And we’re scared. 

We fear that we might fail.
However, what is it that we are really afraid of? 

Failing, or what will people think of us once we fail? 

All of us fail. All of us are scared of it.
But when we introspect and get comfortable with what will make us uncomfortable in the first place, the failure suddenly doesn’t look scary! 

Failure is a probability of an outcome that will occur. We can’t avoid it.
What we can change is how we deal with it by asking ourselves the question: 

What is it that I am afraid of?

In a job, we often ask ourselves such questions: 

What do I want?
Why am I not being given what I was promised?
What is it that I like doing? 

Essentially, we want our needs to be attended to while in a job. 

However, no company does anything for us; whatever they do is largely for their own good.
If it helps you in the process, great! 

How can one find success working in such a setup?
By asking ourselves a question: “What can I do to be successful?” 

Success at work isn’t about our expectations being met.
Success at work is about asking what is needed to be successful.

You hate your job.
But you have a wonderful family life.
And you tell yourself that your life is balanced. 

But is that even possible? 

Can we be a totally different person in our work, from our personal life?
Is it possible to feel fulfilled with family if our work hours are stressed out? 

Humans do not live in different boxes.
Our life, our happiness (and lack of it) is one indivisible whole.

We want to build that product.
Create a community of like-minded people.
Change the way things work. 

But there is a lack of time.
Or we are not sure if the idea will succeed. 

What will people say if we fail?
How will we ever know the result until we do the work? 

Intentions hold power only when they’re backed by actions.
Otherwise, they’re the lies we are hypnotizing ourselves with. 

A year from now you will wish you had started today.

You felt intense pain.
You wanted to escape.
It really hurt. 

And in all that, it was easy to blame circumstances.
Except that circumstances were not to be blamed. 

If circumstances brought us pain, how is it that different people handle their pain differently? 

The hurt that we felt because of the circumstances was because the hurt was always there. Circumstances only brought them to the forefront. 

Circumstances don’t cause pain.
They reveal them.

Here’s a small yet effective three-step formula to learn anything.

Observe: When we see others doing something, our brain creates a picture of it. 

Do: Execution is the mother of motivation. 

Teach: The teacher never forgets. Sharing what you have is the best way to keep it with yourself forever.

Thoughts occur at rattling speed. 

We can’t speak clearly.
We fumble, stammer or ramble. 

Is this what happens when you start presenting your point of view? 

Could be an interview.
An office presentation.
A family gathering. 

Here is what helps to speak effectively:
Writing. 

Because writing is slow.
We cannot write as fast as we think.
So when we write, we find a way to pace our thoughts.
We find a way to get into a rhythm. 

The best way to express your thoughts clearly, is to write your thoughts before you speak.