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When I entered college, being part of the Debating Society was an aspiration. This is where all the cool kids hung out (or so I thought!) and this is where the hottest ideas were endlessly debated.

And I thought that the critical measure of success for a debater was to have a point a view.
A point of view so rigid and firm, that you could defend it till death.

What else would make a good debater? What else could possibly give you the ammunition to take down the opposition in a verbal fight?

And the first lesson I was taught, was

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

This changed everything.

It wasn’t what I knew that mattered, or my point of view that was the key to effective communication.
It was my ability to entertain both sides of the house and be able to debate from either.

And that meant detachment.

Detachment from all ideology, all assumption, and all bias.

For, it is the mark of an educated person to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
– Aristotle

Debating taught me how communication isn’t about how well you know what you know. It is about how well you know what the person you are communicating with knows.

You have an army ready to fight. The weapons ready to kill. The preparation ready to show. An opposition that doesn’t intimidate.

Going out to the battle field in such a scenario isn’t exactly an act of courage. There could be nervousness, yes. But courage isn’t the missing piece here.

Now imagine, you have a joke of an army. No weapons. Hardly any preparation. And an opposition that has plenty. Across everything.

Choosing to still go out and fight calls for courage. You may have a choice to submit, to surrender, but if you still chose to ignore that choice and exercise your choice to face the enemy, rest assured courage will be called for.

Courage is not when you face what’s in front of you, while being fully armed.

Courage is when you face what’s in front of you, knowing that you are weaker.

And this may just be that time!

In times of crisis, it is wise to remind oneself that people are not data points on an excel sheet.

They are people.

But then, it is also true that everyone is a data point on someone’s excel sheet.

This simply means that everyone gets a shot at taking the tough decision. Executing excel sheet decisions, or dealing with people.

This also means, in every crisis, true leaders will emerge. And we will all get to see them, as clearly as we would have wanted to.

Leaders think people. Managers think data.

“Before helping others, make sure you have your own oxygen mask on!”

Before helping others, before trying to save others, help yourself, save yourself.

“Your nearest exit could be behind you”

You may have to go back in life, to start all over again.

“In case of an emergency landing, brace yourself”

You are who you need, the most. Especially during tough times.

You are walking with a friend on a dark street and out of no where a robber comes, points a knife at you and asks both of you to get rid of your wallets.

You fight the robber, without getting hurt.

You have never done this before. Never got into a physical fight.

You surprise yourself.

You have lost your job. Loans are to be paid, people have to be fed. You are the only earning member.

You start taking online dance classes, earning from all across the world.

You have never done this before. Never danced publicly. You were good, but always danced for yourself.

You surprise yourself.

You go through a health check up and realise you have high cholesterol. Dangerously high.

You cut down on all junk. All sugar. Exercise daily.

You have never done this before. Never got up early. Never stretched a muscle. You loved sleeping.

You surprise yourself.

We will never know how strong we are, until being strong is the only option we have.

This morning I saw a couple of egrets flying in the sky.

Beautiful white egrets, against the green trees, in a seamless flight.

It was a sight to watch, as I stood there in my balcony, admiring them.

And I wondered

Have they always been there and it’s only today that I have seen them?

Or

Have they come only today, because we have created the space for them to do so?

It’s the same with every beautiful thing in life

Has it always been there and it’s only today that I have seen it?

Or

Has it happened today, because I created the space for it to happen?

Peace happens when we wish to be peaceful

Peace happens when we create space for peace

During the time of crisis, it is not the dollars that earn you brand loyalty.

Instead, when you chose to listen, to be patient, to go out of your way, to help, to display empathy, to solve, it builds a brand name that stays forever.

When you fight against all odds to serve the customer, it tells them that they can trust you.

With their money, with their time.

Marketing in the time of crisis does not exist in the marketing department.

It exists in the customer service department.

“I can’t do this”

“I can’t understand”

“I can’t figure out how”

“I can’t decide”

Each time you find yourself saying “I can’t”, remind yourself that you can.

It is not a capability issue. It is an intent issue.

You can.

You just chose not to.

So the next time you say, “I can’t do this”, replace it with “I can do this. I just chose not to”

And see how that sounds.

We have to teach our kids a lot.

How to read, write, even speak.

How to eat, wear clothes, even walk.

How to play, build, even gather.

But we don’t have to teach them how to love.

They know how to hug, how to express, how to smile. How to love.

They are somehow born with it.

But here is one thing they weren’t born with.

How to hate.

They don’t know how to hate.

So all the hate that you see in the world today, is a result of them being taught how to hate.

How to differentiate based on colour, caste, religion.

This begs the question.

Are we encouraging our kids to love?

Or are we teaching our kids to hate?