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a midsummer nights dream
a midsummer nights dream
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Barnacle.
Two face
Two face
Originally uploaded by jallen dragonhide (ToBeOr..).
…nightmares….and spreadhseets…
last week was my first touch with work pressure…and i mean pressure thts worse than a guy who hasnt shat for 7 months…!!
am working on a model. a project feasibility model. we wanna see if the project tht we abt to undertake makes business sense for us…and if it doesnt, then how can we ensure that it does. so basically…whatever happens…we will do the project…!! we jst hv to show tht it will work as well…
as wud be obvious…any such feasibility model….will hv its dose of P&L statements, balance sheets, cash flow statements…and the works.
now anyone…who has ever come in close contact with me…including the one i passed while coming out of the elevator this morning…knows tht my sole purpose in this world is a 3-step process…
Step 1
find out who was the guy who made the 1st balance sheet in the world…! the P&L statement or the cash flow statement ‘inventors’ will also do…
Step 2
find out if he is still alive…! chances r tht he is not…!
Step 3
find out who are his living descendents. and then aka ‘the da vinci code’….bloody launch the worst ever cult group to wipe tht entire race. in the process…also attempt to remove all possible traces of accounting in this world…and alongwith them…the god damn accountants…!!!!
which…translated in english language….means…tht i hate…i mean…ohhhhh soooo muuuchhhh….HATE…acounts…! it was my first B-grade at ISB…and if it wasnt for AP, GC, AG and the likes…i wud hv sunk without a trace…!!!
so…it was torture…all the way…and its not funny when u come up with your version of the model…and are told…”uuuummmmmm….cash balance…can never be negative….but good try…DODO…”
it was so bad…tht the past 4 days hv been the following:
– dreaming…no no…nightmaring…about the spreadsheet….! nightmares about my life being a bloody balance sheet wherein my weight is adding on….to the liabilities side…! cash flow statement…and what the F is capitalization…
– sitting in the loo…ostensibly shitting…for 45 mins…with my ISB accounting book…!
– at the shop, after realizing tht i am out of monies…asking R..”tere paas cash flow hai…????”
the model is done…and i think…its comes out well…! thank god…
~a
PS:
- for all those concerned…i think its almost a proven fact now that consulting is possibly the only field which required you to hv paid attention during your MBA. possibly speaks for the reason why they always look for the toppers…!
- AD topped the marketing course at ISB. which speaks for the fact that he hasnt been studying…cause it wont hv happened if he did…! :)
…and where do u come from…
the other day i was explaining to my manager the concept of a blog…the same way someone explained the concept of an orgasm (THANK YOU) to me…only a few days back…!
so anyways…he asked me a good question…”how does the world come to know of your blog”…”and how is it that you know of others”…
at that time i simply answered that you start circulating your blog amoungst your peers…so on and so forth…and the network builds. and its the same way that you get to know of other blogs..
and then…i went to my sitemeter…and checked out stuff. to my surprise..almost 70% of the clicks on my blogs r through referrals. which basically means they are unsuspecting individuals browsing some really high IQ blogs…until destiny takes them to mine…!
additionally…i also found that my blog comes up on google for the weirdest of all searches:
Search # 1
yana gupta lipstick ad (http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=yana%20gupta%20lipstick%20ad&meta=)
WWWWWWWTTTTTTTFFFFFFFF
Search # 2
who has remixed yeh zameen gaa rahi hain (http://www.google.co.in/search?hl=en&q=who%20has%20remixed%20yeh%20zameen%20gaa%20rahi%20hain&meta=)
holy shit…!!!!!
Search # 3
What does Ankur mean (http://www.google.co.in/search?hl=en&q=What%20does%20Ankur%20mean&btnG=Search&meta=)
thank god for a sane search
so…where do u come from…?
~a
PS: funny things are happening to me on orkut nowadays. next post…dedicated to…”adventures on orkut”
…my 1st touch with ‘bschool racism’
u always hear about it…but never wanna believe. and then it finally happens…and u r left thinking…”shit…it was true..and i never believed…”
my current team is an all IIM team…and if you are in consulting…the chances of this not happening are equivalent to that of america’s hottest model with vital stats of 40-40-40..! and its an awesome team…i love all 3 of them…cause they r fun…and extremely smart…and very very professional and hardworking.
however, it jst happens…and invariably atleast once a day…when i get that random..”oh tu to yeh kar lega…tu isb se hai…”…”tu likh le yeh slide…tu to isb se hai…english to sikhaate honge…”
given me…i jst laugh it off….or better still…join in….”nahi…maine english waala elective nahi liya tha…”..! but then i do think…i hope thye r not serious. i mean…i hope at some level they really dont have that iim vs isb attitude.
whats fuels this thought is the fact that my 1st team…which too was an all iim one (40-40-40…yeah…the same joke..!)…never did anything like this. yah…there used to be those…”these guys are kings yaar…they r frm isb…used to ACs all day and room service..”…but then…extremely rare. meant more as a filler statement than anything else…
anyways…probably i am thinking too much into it. work has been quite demnading…but not hectic. the standards r really high…which is good in a way. although its really demoralizing when you dont reach up to them. i can say that i havent been performing the way i would want to…
leaving for home in 2 hrs…! life is a travel bag…
life’s good..
:)
~a
india…one and a half days…
so remember…whenever consults try to mesmerize you with those bloody flybacks…think twice before you start having orgasm..
reached home at 6am thursday morning. was kinda tired because of the midnight flight…so slept..and woke up at 11…!
left home at 4pm on friday…rushed to office to file my expenses…and then caught the 9pm flight…
flyback…wasssuuuuuuuuupppppppp…!!!
but then yah…something is better than nothing. coming out of office on friday…i wished i cud go back to the time when i used to go home frm office…! i mean..even if at 8..or 9…(well…once even at 1am)…i was going home. and not some swanky…touch me oh so not…hotel room…! but then…thats life…
caught an awesome movie this wednesday “over the hedge” with A. awesome movie…had an absolutely brilliant time..completely hilarious and wonderfully crafted around a rather stupid storyline. muct watch..
then thursday (god..whats with me…am turning into a movie critic or something)…watched Corporate. wtf dude…does raj babbar have any..i mean ANYYY…idea of what market capitalization is. who in this world…while talking to normal humans…makes statements such as…jaante ho kitni badi company hai…iss company ka M-A-R-K-E-T C-A-P-I-T-A-L-I-Z-A-T-I-O-N 6000 crore hai…! i mean…for god sake…this is not vajpayee land..its business..!
overall…rather stupid movie…very factual though..will give you a insight into how businesses in their worst form function…and how everyone seems to be running by the “the social responsibility of business is to make profits” paradigms…!
on the way back…watched RDB again…and cried yet again…! thats a movie…thats a movie…!
work is coming along well…am having orgasms over the model i am creating nowadays…hv done it right frm stratch and its so much fun. i love excel…(can see E going…”hadnt i been sayin it…i’d been sayin it for god damn yrs..”)
net net:
dubai is a nice place…but delhi rocks…
and dont travel air india…if u dont like watching the same movie..and the same food…for a month..
life’s good…
~a
1st set of Dubai snaps
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