Blog

I rarely talk about the future. Because it’s my imagination that I will try and impose on someone else, without having given them the basis for imagining it. 

However, day before, I found myself doing so. Talking about the future. How I imagined nearbuy to be 2-3 years from now. 

It sounded like science fiction. It sounded crazy. It sounded impossible. Unimaginable. 

Except, 

It’s none of that. It’s going to happen. 

Not because I have dreamt of it. Not because I have a misplaced sense of self belief. 

It’s going to happen with or without nearbuy

Because it’s not MY future. 

It’s THE future! 

We are always overestimating the awesomeness that’s going to happen in a year. And always underestimating what’s going to happen in 5 years

The future, by definition, is meant to be ridiculous 

I tend to think a lot. More than I should. And starting this year, I wanted to change that. 

The human ability to imagine, sets us apart, in both good ways and bad. While it’s allowed us to created the world that we live in today, where the environment isn’t creating our world but we are creating the environment around us to live in, our imagination on a more regular basis plays havoc with our focus. 

Our thinking, our excessive thinking, leads to pressure. To expectations. To imagine results. To imagine success or failure. 

While our ability to focus, was meant to be above all of this. 

Meditation has taught me an important lesson. 

Being aware of your feelings, your emotions – is not the same as thinking about them. 

The ability to focus on something, is the ability to not imagine anything around the past or future moment. 

Simply be aware

Focus doesn’t know pressure. 

Pressure is what we create to give an illusion that focus alone can’t help us win. When ironically, focus is the loneliest action we can adopt. 

…and yet someone would have thoroughly enjoyed the journey, the pain, the joys, the emotional ups and downs. 

…someone would have said, “I don’t even know what Rome is. I am just in love with the process.”

Long term quality results require long term quality focus. 

No short term reactions. 

No drama. 

And it’s so critical to remember to enjoy and appreciate the process, the journey. 

You are going to spend far more time on the actual journey than in the brief moments of triumph at the end. 

We have been taught to mind our Ps and Qs, since we were kids. 

Say please. Say thank you. 

And we have mostly done a great job of adhering to it. Well, mostly 

However, notice how our thank you are almost always trigger-based 

Someone does something for us. Thank you. 

Someone brings something for us. Thank you. 

Someone helps us. Thank you. 

Someone listens to us. Thank you. 

Someone shows us the path. Thank you. 

At some point in our learning, we forgot that thank you is way more important, when there is no trigger. 

You have been there whenever I needed you. Thank you. 

You have been so helpful during this period. Thank you. 

I was thinking of the good times we have shared. Thank you. 

I have seen you and learnt so much from you. Thank you. 

I think you are such a great human. Thank you. 

Whenever you acknowledge someone or something, even your own life, without any trigger, it triggers the most under-rated virtue of all – gratitude. 

Saying thank you is manners. 

Feeling thankful is behavior. 

I saw “I am Bolt” – a documentary on Usain Bolt, this weekend. 

It’s about his journey to become the fastest man ever on earth, and to go on to win Golds in 3 consecutive Olympic Games – a feat that will remain largely unmatched for a long long time. 

Watching the documentary made me sad. 

I recognized that sports, most of them, by definition have “that” moment. 

That moment when you know you have won. 

That moment you own. It’s yours. When you breakdown, you fall to the ground or rise to the crowd. When you know it’s over. 

That moment when you win. 

Most of us will never experience that moment. Our lives are way too slow, way too gradual, perhaps even way too predictable. 

And what made me sad was no matter how hard I tried, imagining my life to comprise such moments is super hard. 

There will rarely be moments when I will have the world’s attention towards me and in that pressure I will deliver, win and will feel this rush of emotions take over. 

And in that moment of sadness, I asked myself. 

Should I be thankful instead? That I will never have such a moment. 

That life gradually happens, every single day. It’s the process, your attitude, your reactions – the journey, that happens to us. Not those moments.

And it’s a blessing it’s this way? 

Be silent – in the heat of anger

Be silent – when you don’t have all the facts

Be silent – if your words will offend a weaker person

Be silent – if your words will offend anyone
Be silent – when you ought to listen
Be silent – if its none of your business
Be silent – when you wish to speak ill of someone not present at the moment

Be silent – if your words will damage and not heal 

Be silent – if you will have to shout to say it 

Be silent – if your words are not a reflection of who you are

Be silent – if you have already said it before 

Be silent – and let your success make the noise
Be silent – because the judgement of when to, will define you 

Recall how many times we have asked something from someone

And then reacted adversely to the response, when it came through 

Anger, sadness, rudeness, hurt, let down, defensive

Ever thought how unfair this is?

We asked a question 

And couldn’t deal well with the answer 

Do I look fat in this? 

Over time the opposite side either becomes politically correct (it’s the dress that makes you look fat) or starts lying (no, you look gorgeous) 

Don’t ask questions if you aren’t prepared to hear the answer

Ironically, these are the questions that matter the most! 

The easiest thing in the world is to expect something from someone else

I expect you to love me 

I expect you to show up

I expect you to understand 

I expect you to care

I expect you to appreciate 

I expect the world to…

The hardest thing is to expect something from your own self. 

Something that you expected from others. 

I expect myself to love

I expect myself to show up

I expect myself to understand 

To care

To appreciate

I expect myself not to expect from others 

Most people seek from others. Some give to others. Very few give to their own selves.