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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
Why “we apologize for the inconvenience we may have caused” is absolute bullshit
Customer service is a hard thing. Especially in India. The Indian consumer is one of the most demanding, and I would argue the most threatening as well.
It’s amazing how high the percentage is of customers emails to us that threaten to go to the consumer courts on their very first interaction. They haven’t even heard us out – but assume we don’t mean well. That’s why the threat.
It’s not personal. I now call it natural. It’s been hard wired in the consumers mindset.
And here is the biggest reason
For years, organizations including and especially the government have dealt us a bad hand. We have had to fight for our consumer rights. Rights as a taxpayer. Rights as a buyer of products and services.
So now our natural mode has become the fight.
Worse still, organizations have mastered the art of offering explanations for their actions.
“We apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused”
No cool company
Don’t hint towards the fact that you MAY have caused any inconvenience. You DID!
Don’t apologize and be fancy about it. Say sorry. And MEAN IT.
Speak just as you normally would. You know, human speak
And DONT GIVE A WHY
Solve the problem.
Because guess what – the why may be right. The why may be true. The why may be genuine.
But the customer doesn’t give a fuck about the why.
They care about how you are going to help him. Not why this happened.
Templates have allowed customer service to scale. They are now able to be less empathetic and more robotic to a lot more people than before.
The four learner profiles – and why you shouldn’t chose one for yourself
I continue to be shocked by how little people invest in their personal development.
I bet there are more people with mutual fund SIPs than people who read 1 book every year.
Part of it is of course intent.
But the sheer number of people who wish to make a change but are unable to do so, if baffling.
My observation is that people don’t know how best to learn. Content and experiences are available to us in multiple modes. But our ability to absorb isn’t as diverse.
In my opinion, there are 4 modes to learn
- By reading
- By listening
- By watching
- By doing
We all react differently to each of these. Never mind the reasons.
Infact, we don’t react the same way all the time. For different lessons, our best learning mode may alter. Should alter.
The best way to drive may not be through reading.
But the best way to learn to code could be.
The other important distinction is between learning and getting better.
“The best way to learn is to do it” is the worst possible advice ever.
Sure, the best way to get better is to do it. But the learning, the foundation, the basis – cannot always be by doing.
Go back in time and we all will realize the number of occasions when we have succumbed to the “let me just start doing it and I will learn”.
We ended up getting bored or feeling inadequate and gave up.
So next time you wish to invest in a new skill
Play around with the learning modes. Give sometime to each. You may figure something else works better than what you thought.
Resist the urge to get into it right away before learning the base.
The best learners know that they need to be a different person each time they learn.
How I fared on my 2016 resolutions
2016 Resolutions
- Record at least 10 cover songs in my voice – 10/10
I sang more than 500 songs this year – and eventually recorded 30+. Might showcase some of them publicly for feedback
- Write at least 150 blog posts and at least 100 medium posts – 7/10
Wrote 197 blog posts
However, medium didnt do so well for me, which is a big disappointment. I really like the medium and one of my goals for 2017 is to move my blog from wordpress to Medium.
Instead, I shifted my focus to Linkedin and ended up writing over 50 posts there. Generated over 250,000 views
Quora continued well – logged a crazy 3.8Mn views this year!
- Have lunch individually with 200 nearbuy colleagues – 8/10
Had 172 lunches with nearbuy colleagues – some unreal, unbelievable stories – some genuinely passionate and driven people – some inspiring to the hilt – some happy to the extent of being contagious.
- Take 7 weekend vacations with family – 6/10
Could manage only 4 vacations this year, much to the dismay of Ruchi. At a personal level, I worry that my need for a vacation seems to have completely gone.
- Not look at my phone once I reach home from work, till my wife goes to sleep – 3/10
Followed this for 2 weeks, I assume. And then was back to my normal self. This is an area where I have genuinely failed. However, one thing that I decided to follow was not bring my laptop home during the weekdays. Everyday I simply come back – not carry stuff back. One may argue that has increased my phone time once home, but not having the laptop does make a big difference.
My Top 10 List of 2016 – books, videos, articles & blogposts
When you are not practicing, someone else is. And when you meet each other, they will win.
This paranoia drove me in 2016. I double down-ed on the practice. To prepare for the right time, not knowing when it will come. Not worrying about it either.
This list is a compilation of the content pieces that stood out for me, in 2016. That helped me in the practice.
All this content was discovered by me in 2016. They could be (and most likely are) from an earlier year
Books
Sapiens – A brief history of humankind
One of the best books of 2016. Suddenly a lot of the things you observe everyday, but never question, start to make sense. Loved the parts about money and religion, particularly.
Shoe Dog – A memoir by the creator of Nike
Hands down – the book of the year for me. It came at a time when I needed to read about this journey. Absolutely brilliant – a must read for every entrepreneur.
Better Under Pressure: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Themselves and Others
During Feb-Mar this book explained to me a lot about why I was feeling what I was feeling, and more importantly how to deal with it. Entrepreneurs – do yourself a favor and pick this one up.
Explains the science of happiness better than anything else I have ever read. Much needed read, especially in today’s world of instant gratification and endless distraction.
Superforecasting: The Art and Science of Prediction
The genius of this book cannot be expressed in words. If you believe in numbers and naturally gravitate towards them, this is the first book you should read. Hopefully the last you will ever need.
Chaos Monkeys: Obscene Fortune and Random Failure in Silicon Valley
This book is like the matrix. No one can be told what the matrix is. One has to see it for themselves. Read this book. Please.
The title can be misleading – this isnt your run-of-the-mill self help shit. This book made sense – every page of it.
The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti
The simplicity of this much recommended book truly moved on. I haven’t read a lot of philosophy in life, but can argue that this book gives good reason to read more about life.
Brilliant book on how to drive organizational change, why its so hard and how you can effectively measure. For all managers and founders – this is a gem!
The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers
When in doubt, refer to the bible! Read this book almost everyday – a random page opened before I started my day. And each time it answered a question, as if it knew what I wanted an answer to.
Videos
2016 was the year of video for me. I consumed video like a maniac – shunned TV completely.
THE LAB: DECOY – A portrait session with a twist
Something I have always believed in, as a photographer – the actual subject is behind the lens
Why we should go to Mars
This is my prescription for whenever I am down. These 4 minutes defined a lot of my sentiments for 2016. Its nout about today – everything is about tomorrow.
10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee
The simplest way to describe human conversations. So forgotten in today’s era. I am firm believer that in the future the single biggest success parameter will be the ability to communicate. This video starts that inner dialogue.
Paper Boat presents Rizwan
This video became the benchmark for storytelling – at a brand level and at a personal level.
People relate to individuals, not to news.
Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace
Simon Sinek strikes again. And he is even more brilliant than before. If the Golden Circle explained why organizations are successful, this one explained how individuals can be.
Grace VanderWaal: 12-Year-Old Ukulele Player Gets Golden Buzzer – America’s Got Talent 2016
I was addicted to “Got Talent” youtube videos – recall watching every single golden buzzer video one random weekend. But this one stayed. It just stayed.
Elon Musk almost crying
Fuck, this broke my heart. And told me the honest truth. No change was ever brought about by keeping everyone happy.
Sachin A Billion Dreams | Official Teaser | Sachin Tendulkar
Just for that one line in the trailer. Just for that – this video will always stay with me. Just for that.
What Will You Stand For? – Motivational Les Brown Tribute
10 mins of absolute motivation. Loved every second of it.
Dasht-e-Tanhai. Meesha Shafi
This video defined music for me – the lyrics, the voice, the melody, the rhythm – everything is magical.
Articles
Am not going to describe them – instead strongly encourage you to read all of them
Be a bit f*cked up. People will like you for that
Do you take yourself seriously?
The 7 most unconventional thoughts happy people have
10 Surprising Things Our Brain Does And What We Can Learn From It
Want to Become a Billionaire? Solve “I want X but Y”
Thoughts on Building Weatherproof Companies
“Are my songs literature?” Bob Dylan’s wry, gracious Nobel Prize acceptance speech
Barack Obama And Doris Kearns Goodwin: The Ultimate Exit Interview
35 Things You Should Know Before Becoming “SUCCESSFUL”
The Ivy Lee Method: The Daily Routine Experts Recommend for Peak Productivity
Blogposts
These are the most popular blogposts of mine for this year
“We don’t have assholes in the founding team” – and why this remark pleased me
The unexpected thing that saved me in 2016
This year truly tested me.
It started with a massive high – we had pulled off a remarkable Management Buyout in 2015, closed the year with the best sales ever and entered Jan 2016 with spirits and energy at the highest levels possible.
And then it struck!
Feb-Mar 2016
The investment scenario had turned upside down. Funding dried up.
We were running out of money. And we had to ensure the company wasnt jeopardized because of the decisions I had taken. So we decided to go back to first principles of business and also conserve all the cash that we could.
Which meant taking some really hard decisions.
I felt responsible for all of it – for every job lost, for every benefit withdrawn, for every insecure face I encountered, for all the times I tried to pep things up but felt I was lying to my own self.
I WAS responsible for all of it – the low morale, the skepticism, the “you brought this onto us” look.
Admitting this, even publicly, wasn’t going to be enough.
I began to record my feelings. Everyday to work, I spoke to myself – expressly freely what I felt. It helped relieve the emotions, but it wasn’t enough
I had to get myself back. In order to get nearbuy back.
On one such recording sessions, I asked myself, “fuck, how is it that I fucked up so bad? So so bad? I was happy a month back, and now I struggle to find a reason to be so. As if I have forgotten what it felt like to be at peace”
And I thought…
Would it help to go back to that world? That moment when I was truly at peace with myself. What is it that I used to tell myself then? Maybe that would help?
So I spent the next week, wading through my content from the past. Blogposts, Quora, Linkedin, Facebook, Emails, Notes.
And it helped a lot. I found patterns. In my thoughts, my emotions, my words.
Patterns that I figured might help me get back on track.
And one of the content stayed with me.
My resolution for 2016, one of which was
Record at least 10 cover songs in my voice
I wondered why I had resolved to sing?
I wasnt a good singer. And was extremely shy of singing in front of public.
In the tough period of Feb-Mar, I couldnt remember what drove me to sign up for singing as a 2016 resolution.
So I decided to give it a shot, almost desperate for a solution.
And magic happened
I sang
And sang
and sang
Horrible at first
Tolerable by now
But I didnt care
I made it a ritual. Everyday after lunch, I used to walk on the office lawns, earplugs and sing to myself.
Invariably I would end up crying everytime, as I sang
The emotions didnt stop.
The healing didnt either.
I would look forward to driving, because then I could sing.
I would record what I felt were my best renditions.
Share it, not for feedback, but as as sign that I was coming back.
All I wanted to do everyday was to sing
In a month, I knew that this tough phase, while real, will not consume me. I will not allow it to consume me.
By April, I had myself back.
The act of singing, feeling my entire body emote to the melody, the lyrics, rhythm – made me go back to my original self.
The self that wanted to be free, to find meaning in my actions, to feel happy with my judgement, to stand by my thoughts.
The act of singing made me connect with my own self, more than writing, or photography.
Over the past 10 months, I have sang more than 500 songs.
The act of singing saved me in 2016
The year has been the hardest I have ever faced. It taught me the importance of making people feel secure, the importance of will, the power of faith and perseverance
and above all, it taught me that the only person who can ever know you well, is your own self.
I became my best friend
Nowadays, we hang out together, singing :)
Why do organizations act as boom barriers?
At toll booths, boom barriers reflect the behavior of most organizations out there.
Employees approach with ideas, advancements, experiments, wild bets at the toll booth.
Someone, supposedly capable but mostly simply a checker, is siting. Accepts some form of exchange – money in real world, ideas, presentations, data in organizations.
And the boom barrier is raised. Allowing for the employee to go past.
Before lowering itself again for the next employee.
Day in and day out – the same “process”. Multiple booths, multiple checkers, multiple employees. But all allowed one a time.
And then someone decided to introduce tags.
Something you do (upfront payment in the real world) fetches you a badge. Where you don’t seek permission anymore. The boom barrier is never lowered on you. Till you keep paying that payment.
Unfortunately, just as real world, less than 5% of the universe eve gets this tag. 95% still go through this painful sequential process.
It’s ironical – the toll road was built for a speedy, unrestricted passage. And then someone, to establish importance and authority, choked the system at the toll booth.
As a founder/CEO/manager – while you constantly aim to build toll roads, ask yourself how many toll booths are you also adding.
And why?
What will it take to give everyone a tag?
What will you give up? And what will you gain?
Does your organization really need a boom barrier?
Talent
Interviewed a super smart woman last evening. She is a visual designer. And while her work spoke for her talent and finesse, what stood out was an honest admission towards the end
“Creativity doesn’t come naturally to me. I have to work really hard for it. It’s unlike the movies where one sit and creativity starts flowing”
I have spoken in the past about the difference between geniuses and artists. This conversation reminded me of the same.
Most talent in this world isn’t inborn. It isn’t natural. It has to be worked upon. Because it’s necessary for your definition of success.
The ones that come across as supremely talented are ironically the ones that believe they still have a long way to go.
Biggest life lesson of 2016
People need to feel secure
In their relationships
At their workplace
Amoungst colleagues
Around competition
People need to be told “I will watch out for you”
When times are bad
When times are good
People want to know that if they show up and give their 100%, they will grow as will the company
So far I had felt that security was a bad thing. It brought with itself entitlement. Complacency. Mediocrity.
This year told me that security meant being human.
nearbuy fund raise: who will we want to partner with?
I just returned from a fundraising road trip.
6 days
3 countries
5 cities
1 key learning
“So Ankur, what do you think of this player xxx?”
“I think highly of them, but they are not in the same space”
“But they can get into the space”
“Yes they can, but they won’t”
“But what if they do. They can get into anything, given the wave they are riding”
“I hear you, but I don’t share your enthusiasm”
“It’s not enthusiasm. It’s fear”
Most investors are scared.
Scared of competition
Scared of someone else with deeper pockets
Scared of how fast technology is changing
Scared of what if this doesn’t scale, this doesn’t become big
Scared of what they cannot understand
This fear isn’t without basis – I admit, but to me the pervasiveness of this emotion was striking.
These are people who are betting other people’s money in the hope of a return.
Fear cannot be the foundation of this.
That’s when it was evident – the investors with the Midas touch and the ones with not – is simple to explain.
Investors that invest on the basis of fear will remain in the business of entering and exiting businesses.
Investors that invest on hope, on courage, on first principles will build institutions along with the entrepreneur.
And if we are lucky, we will partner with hope and not fear.
What does it take to get 6 pack abs, for your mind?
When Vidur was 6 months old, we conducted a mental experiment.
Every night, when we put him to sleep, we played music. The same kind. Every time.
For about 3 weeks, we followed this regime. While putting in effort to put him to sleep. Effort that was visibly coming down with every passing day.
By the end of 3 weeks, we started to play the music. And saw “magic” happen.
He fell asleep by himself.
Today, at 6 years, he takes no more than 5 mins everyday to sleep. Mostly doing so by himself.
He has developed, what I call the 6pack abs for his mind.
The recipe for physical abs is well established.
Nothing similar exists for the mind. How do you get your mind to the highest fitness levels?
My realization is that the mind can be easily tricked. Its naive, almost without a mind of its own.
But we leave the fitness regime for the mind, to chance.
We leave inspiration to chance. A video here, a talk there, a quote somewhere. Not actively sought, but accidentally encountered.
We leave positivity to chance
We leave inspiring company to chance
We leave learning to chance
When, we can trick the brain every single day.
People who know me well, know about my fetish for superlatives
“Fuck, this is awesome”
“Something fascinating happened”
“It was magical”
“It’s such a splendid moment”
I am tricking my mind. With the choice of these words. It feels it’s actually something awesome. And feeds back that emotion. The circle completes itself.
Everyday when you wake up, you have a choice
Tell your mind I am going to make you happy today
Or
Ask your mind to make you happy today
Choose wisely!
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