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In 1983, a talented young guitarist was kicked out of his band. With apparently no warning.
Handed over a bus ticket and told to go back home, 2 days before the band’s first recording

On the journey back home, the guitarist, just as all of us, started speaking to himself
“Was this really happening?”
“To him?”
“Why?”

Apparently, the self-talk helped. By the time he reached his destination, he vowed to form a new band.
And do everything within his right, to be better than the band that had just fired him
Go on to break more records than them
Go on to make better music than them
Go on to earn more fame and money than them

The guitarist’s name was Dave Mustaine

The band he formed, went on to sell over 30Mn copies worldwide, making it one of the best selling bands of all times
Megadeath

Pretty impressive, huh?
Sweet revenge, one would say

Except

The band that fired him, went on to sell over 130Mn copies worldwide
The band that fired him was Metallica

Was Dave Mustaine a success or a failure?

In a rare 2003 interview, Dave wept at the firing incident, STILL regretting the moment he was fired. Clearly feeling betrayed. He still carried the baggage.

Was Dave Mustaine a success or a failure?

As much as you dont want the world to define your success or failure, are you doing a good job of defining it yourself?

It takes me 40 mins to reach work everyday

Anytime of the day

The road is a smooth ride – traffic but not enough to stall.

A 30km stretch with no red lights.

But every now and then, someone with a sense of urgency will go berserk

Change lanes

Honk

Brake

Accelerate

Jeopardize not just their safety but that of others too

And invariably, at the end of the 30kms I have rarely found them to be ahead of me by more than a minute. Two at best!

Makes me wonder – what is it really worth it?

Risking yourself to gain a minute or two?

That’s life

When you start changing lanes, accelerating, braking, honking – you lose the perspective – what am I eventually going to get out of this?

All you focus on – is that I am doing this now and this is my present

The hare and tortoise wasn’t just a fictional life lesson

It’s an everyday affair

Two stories that somehow found a connection

I have been experiencing back pain persistently for 3 weeks now.

Because of which I haven’t been to the gym these past 3 weeks

And I have been missing it

Missing it – because that’s where I feel I prepared most for life, from a mental strength perspective

That’s where I get a lot of my life lessons

“No matter how much the pain, don’t close your eyes”

“Always look ahead, never down”

“To lose fat, pick lighter weights and do more reps. To build strength, pick heavier weights and do less reps”

“How you look at yourself in the mirror is how the world looks at you”

But every now and then you lose track of the important life lessons

To heal the pain, I went to a chiropractor yesterday. It was a great session.

Towards the end he made the remark “you look like he kinds who wants to prove that anything is possible. But do remember – whatever you do, make sure your body lasts for another 40-50 years”

Damn!

Harsh reminder

It’s not about the goal for today. Even tomorrow.

It’s the process you adopt, that sets you up for life

Reminds me of a powerful anecdote

Two people – training super hard at the gym – get talking to each other

“What are you preparing for?”

“Oh the marathon. Next month. What are you preparing for?”

“Life!”

In a seminal 2002 study, 3 scientists put 12-month old infants through an experiment

Through a glass window, the infants saw a man enter a room.

In front of the man was a large “something” with a huge button

The man banged his head into the button and lo behold – there was confetti like stuff in front of him

Several men entered, banged their head on the button and the same “magical show” happened

The infants were then introduced into the room

And their natural response was

To bang their head against the button

And then the scientists added a twist

Same setting

Instead, the men entering the room had their hands full – holding bags

And they, yet again, pressed the button with their head

Several men repeated the same

Hands full with bags

Pressed the button with the head

This time now – when the infants entered the room

They surprisingly didnt use their heads to press the button

Instead

They used their hands to press the button :)

Pause for a minute and think about this

And translate this into real life

How often do we see people in repeated action

And begin to believe that its only THAT action which will yield THIS result?

It is only when we see the constraints of those people, do we recognize that our natural response could have also caused the same result

We just didnt try

What people do doesn’t matter
Its why they do it, that does

Most of us have been raised to admire the extra ordinary

To be inspired by them

To be in awe of them

To want to become them

BUT

Most of us have been raised to be ordinary

To be average

To follow the herd

To take the path already taken

To admire is easy

It’s easy to watch great people

It’s easy to see how they did it to listen to them

But it takes a lot to become them

And we haven’t been taught how

As if it’s something we had to be born with

Consistently put yourself into situations others have only watched and admired

An overwhelming majority of emails and messages I receive end broadly the same way

What do you think of the idea?

Am I on the right track?

How should I plan my life?

What’s the best advice you can give me?

And my personal favorite

Want to pick your brains on this

This form of help-seeking is lazy, at its best.

When we ask such questions, we may think we are being considerate of someone’s time

But if the opposite person truly values their time, then this approach is frustrating

You expect someone to navigate through your story, your circumstance, your context, and then distill all the thoughts into one or two powerful implementable points?

Because you asked?

Try this the next time

Be. Ruthlessly. Specific

And relevant

That shows you have a problem

And you have taken the effort to narrow down the reasons

And have identified someone who could help

And are respectful of their time

While aware of where they can help and how

If you get a response, you know for a fact that you have a conversation going.

With a sense of purpose.

For all the times you ask for generic advice

Someone who could have helped, chooses not to

Here is a view to life

That is conclusively true

Our brain is a muscle

That requires training

Training that it rarely gets

Because it’s the hardest thing to train

And life is not a bed of roses

It will be hard, supremely hard

At times, or most often

But hard for sure

Just as much as it will be easy or enjoyable

Here is a contrarian view to life

That is also conclusively true

To prepare for these hard times

You have only one route

Train your brain

And to train your brain for such times

You have got to pick up the things you hate doing

And go fucking do them

Hate waking up early?

Wake up early

Hate eating healthy?

Eat healthy

Hate approaching new people?

Approach new people

Hate studying?

Study

Because when you do things you hate

You don’t win some tactical battle

You prepare yourself for those worst moments

That will surely hit you

So that you don’t fall apart

Don’t protect yourself

Prepare yourself

When you are dining at a restaurant, or relaxing at a spa, or getting pampered at a salon – the cost of that service is usually ridiculously low compared to what you end up paying.

So we argue we are paying for the softer aspects

The ambiance

The treatment

The expertise/quality of the experience

Ever wondered then – why does the experience diminish if the one serving you gives you the impression that they don’t care?

Why do unhappy servers affect us so much, when it’s not them that we are consuming

An unhappy server serving the best tasting food – not good enough

An unhappy masseuse delivering the best quality massage – not good enough

Here is my prediction why

Because at a subconscious level, we are also paying for that individual’s inability to enjoy life, at that precise moment

When we are sitting having a nice meal, the server is serving us. Not enjoying.

When we are getting a lovely massage, the masseuse is not enjoying

All the occasions when we are being served and enjoying, the server is NOT enjoying.

They are serving us.

Which is why, when we see someone unhappy, we feel our money wasn’t put to use.

And we hate that, don’t we?

If you are in the serving business, each time you truly show that you love serving – people will feel wonderful being served.

If you are in the people business, each time you truly show that you love people – people will feel wonderful being themselves

This post is meant to spark a conversation – I am genuinely seeking help on how to build a gender neutral workplace

This women’s day, I shared stats about women representation at nearbuy.com – a piece that went “mini-viral”
Share of women: 34%
Share of women in tech: 29%

Impressive, I assume

However, here is the reality

This month, 3 women colleagues – great at what they do, had to leave because of a change in their personal situation (got married in a different city or husband is moving to a new city).

In each of the situations, they wanted to continue working with nearbuy – and we tried to figure out options (remote work etc) but couldnt come up with any elegant situation that didnt harm work or their ability to grow.

Early this year, we lost 2 more colleagues to similar circumstances

And I know (as of today) of 3 more such cases before the end of the year

We lost 8 women colleagues, extremely capable professionals, because they got married or their husband moved cities
In 10 years I have encountered only 1 case of a male professional leaving their workplace because of his partner.

How am I supposed to deal with this?
I needed suggestions from the audience – how do I build a gender-balanced workplace in light of the above situation?

PS: Dont need to hear “this is the reality” – I am not looking for validation. I am looking for ideas

In school, I was fascinated with Nike, the brand

I knew it as “Niek” back then

And all day long, on every blank space possible – I used to draw the swoosh and sketch “just do it”

I decided that if I ever get a tattoo it will be the swoosh, on the mount of my palm.

Never managed to buy a pair of Nike shoes though. Never had enough money early on and by the time I did, other similar brands came cheaper!

Last year, I read Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight, founder of Nike.

Hands down the best book of last year. Possibly across many more years.

It rekindled my fascination with Nike, the brand.

I wondered what it would be to run in a Nike

I wondered if it was true, what Eisenhower (founder of Nike) said

This birthday, Ravi gifted me a pair of Nike shoes.

One of the most thoughtful gifts ever :))

And I was so excited

For my Monday run

Yesterday, I wore the shoes

Didn’t feel any different

Walked in them

Didn’t feel any different

Started to run in them

Felt the same as my Puma

Ran for 3Kms

The Nike didn’t feel any different

Then I looked at my timer

What every time takes me 18 mins to run, had taken me 15mins

So instead of running at 10kmph I had ran for 12kmph

I had gained 20% in a day.

On a day when I felt there was no difference

My mind was telling me something that day

But my subconscious had been listening to something else for years

Guess who won

It all boils down to the story you have telling yourself all this while

And if there was none, today’s story will win!