Blog

You have two choices in life.

Keep working to improve yourself and get to the best spot or position, within the orbit you are in.

Become the captain of your school.

Become the student of the year in your college.

The spot award winner in your company.

Or

Change your orbit

Try to become the student of the year in the state.

Try to become the ceo of the company.

Try to start your own company.

Try to go to mars.

It’s clear which one is easy.

Staying in your orbit is comfortable. It’s your zone. It’s your territory.

The new orbit is unknown. It’s unchartered. It’s risky. It might not work.

And yet, it’s those that attempt to change their orbit, that we look up to and draw from.

It’s the ones who change their orbit, who don’t belong to any orbit.

All they know is to change.

Not to stay.

Not to sit.

In the brilliant Knowledge Project podcast, Shane Parrish speaks to Tobias – founder and ceo of Shopify.

And in response to a question, Toby says, “if Shopify wins, no one loses!”

That is such a wonderful way to look at things, such a blesses position to be in and such a wonderful company to create.

As usual, my pensive mind took over and I wondered – who all will lose if I win, as an individual?

I realized there were some who might lose. Did I want them to? No. But they might.

And I then asked – what might I need to do differently that no one loses if I win.

I will encourage you to do the same. Ask yourself –

Which person

Which ideology

Which belief

Which value

Which opinion

Will lose, if you win?

And then if you care enough, ask further, what might I need to do, to ensure no one or nothing loses?

It’s not who you are underneath but what you do, that defines you.

– the Batman

It all about who I am. Because I don’t even know what all I do.

– everyone else?

A brilliant piece by Captain Gopinath emerged yesterday, on Kingfisher Airlines.

The gist of it was – Kingfisher Airlines, when it collapsed, had twice the market share of Air India with 10,000 employees. And a brand that people did love.

And a loan default of 6000 Crores.

Then how come we see Air India being saved by pumping in 50,000 Crores of taxpayers money – and the same was never considered for Kingfisher?

My guess? It is because we thought that Mallaya and Kingfisher are one.

And saving Kingfisher would amount to saving him!

Or, as we thought, hurting Kingfisher will hurt him!

Without knowing anything about him, it seems to me that he moved on, the day Kingfisher collapsed. While we are still stuck!

His arrogance and flamboyance made us despise him. And strangely his airline too.

And herein lies the truth of life.

We do this to our own selves. We create an image, a persona of who we should be, what we should say, how we should work, how we should behave.

Rarely stopping to ask – have we truly changed? Or have we just made this person up?

And then when we don’t deliver to our own expectations, we feel shitty about ourselves.

When the truth is – we were never going to deliver on that promise.

It’s all about me. Because I don’t even know who I am.

I stay on the 15th floor and quite often climb up the stairs, after my morning workout. 

And I love playing tricks with my mind. 

Usually I climb up while looking down, thinking about something, not consciously counting the floors. 

And then one time, I did notice the floor.
It was Floor 5. 
And my mind instantly went, “damn – all the hard work done until now, has to be repeated 2 more times”. 

And then one time, I did notice the floor.
It was floor 8. 
And my mind instantly went, “ok – just repeat what you have done until now and you will reach”. 

And then one time, I did notice the floor.
It was floor 10.
And my mind instantly went, “just half of what you have done until now!”

And then one time, I did notice the floor.
It was floor 15. 
And my mind instantly went, “wow! Its done?”

And then one time, I did notice the floor.
It was floor 16. 
And my mind instantly went, “holy shit. I didnt even realize it!”

There are so many ways we can trick our minds. And all of them begin with not tracking what milestone we have hit so far. Instead focusing on the climb. 
And keep climbing! 

My tennis coach has been saying just one thing for the past 6 months.

Get the posture right.

He claims that with the right posture, the effort to hit the ball dramatically reduces.

And I have felt it.

Those rare moments when the legs, the hands, the racquet, the weight are all aligned, it’s effortless to hit the ball.

But it isn’t easy. Years of conditioning and bad posturing makes it super hard to get it right.

And that, to me, is coaching.

Quickly getting the fundamentals in order.

And then spending a lifetime just getting the posture right.

Because once it happens – it’s effortless.

That, to me, is also life!

Quickly figuring out the basics.

And then spending the rest of our lives getting the posture right.

When our minds, our body, our emotions are all aligned – the right posture – living life becomes effortless.

But for that – we all need a coach.

Not someone who necessarily plays better than us.

Rather someone who can observe people for who they are, not what the coach thinks they are or should be.

Find your coach. For the right posture.

Stayed at the Oberoi last night.

The previous night at an OYO.

And it was so clear, yet again. The only time we are truly awake, is when we are sleeping.

The conscious mind knows the difference between an Oberoi and an OYO. It seeks to judge. To assign a value. A prestige to the choice.

The subconscious mind couldn’t care less. It is neutral, indifferent, objective.

It is what we should be.

The bed we sleep on is judged by us all the time. Once asleep, our minds are possibly judging us!

Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky invented a fictitious woman named Linda and gave her the below description:

“Linda is thirty-one years old, single, outspoken, and very bright. She majored in philosophy. As a student, she was deeply concerned with issues of discrimination and social justice, and also participated in antinuclear demonstrations.”

People were then asked to cite which statement was more likely:

Linda is a bank teller.

Linda is a bank teller who is active in the feminist movement.

Did you choose the latter option? It’s easy to see someone like Linda being involved in feminist causes. And it’s much easier to picture her in that role than as a bank teller. Undergraduate study participants agreed. Nearly 90% said that Linda was more likely to be a feminist bank teller than a bank teller.

Except this choice completely defies the laws of probability. Since all feminist bank tellers are included within the overall base of bank tellers, the probability of Linda being a feminist bank teller must be lower than the probability of her being a bank teller.

Ask yourself

How many times have you allowed YOUR imagination of someone else come in the way of truly discovering that person?

And then ask the more important question

How many times have you allowed YOUR impression of who you are come in the way of discovering who you truly are?

People usually speak of me as a good listener. As a patient listener. As an empathetic leader. Someone who cares.

The truth is – I only care about learning. And if that learning comes through your story – so be it. If it comes from observing, from listening, from reading, from watching – I will sign up.

And what is it that I wish to learn?

The truth about myself.

Why am I the way I am. Why do some things work for me and some don’t. Why do somethings come easy to me and some don’t.

The truth

And in that pursuit of truth – I will sacrifice a lot and perhaps make people believe a lie. That I care about your story.

I don’t.

I only care about my learning.