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Choice 1

Nothing that I do at an individual level makes any difference. I could save animals, nature, not lie or steal or kill or harm – and yet the world remain the same. So fuck it – I will live life the way I want to. My way! Nothing else matters.

Choice 2

Everything that I do at an individual level matters. If I say no to plastic, leather, non veg food – it matters. If I am a nice kind hearted person – it matters. It makes me feel happy about myself, it gives me a sense of pride. And hence, I will do it – even if it means discomfort at times.

Choice 3

Nothing that I do at an individual level matters, unless I get a lot of people to do the same thing. Make the same choices. And hence I will build a tribe, a community, that’s represents our choices. Because together we can make a difference.

Choice 4

It’s really really hard to change people’s behavior. It’s best to change the entire landscape. Design the new way. Not optimize the current way.

Choice 1: the observer

Choice 2: the doer

Choice 3: the leader

Choice 4: the inventor

Guess which of these choices does the world need more of?

Guess which ones are dominant right now?

the world has more doers than we need. And less inventor than we need.

You work really hard.

And at some point that work stops becoming a process, a way of life, an approach.

Instead, it attaches itself to a goal.

A goal in your head, created by your expectations.

And then you don’t hit the goal.

Suddenly, while you should have met that moment with the reality of it, you end up meeting the moment with the expectation of how you would have liked it to be.

And at that moment, you fail yourself.

You let yourself down.

Reality generates action. Expectations generates reaction.

Had a late night discussion within the senior management, on the principles of annual bonus.

In question were people who join between Jan – Mar every year and are not eligible for the annual appraisal or bonus, in April.

When they do go through the process the following year, should they be compensated for 12 months, or for 15 months (assuming they joined in January).

Market practice apparently suggests paying on a 12month basis. The clock resets every April.

Logic tells me paying on a 15 month basis. The individual has worked for that period.

Finally we decided to go with 15 months – it seemed logical and fair.

Fuck the market practice.

Do what’s right!

The other day, at an office party, a colleague asked me

“All through this fund raising process, when things were not going our way, how did you remain so patient?”

Inside of me, I was like, “patient? Me?”

I am nothing like patience.

Yes, I am calm on the outside. Tolerant.

But inside, I am fucking impatient.

Here is something that I am though

Perseverant

Determined to achieve my target and continue to sign up on the process.

Show up every day, irrespective of how bad it is.

And if i feel like quitting today, I tell myself, let’s it tomorrow! And I say that tomorrow as well.

Patience is a virtue. But it’s inaction. It’s enduring pain. It’s tolerance.

Perseverance is action. It’s determination. It’s continuing despite everything.

What would you much rather be, if you only be one?

Imagine you meet someone for the first time and get talking

“So where did you do your MBA from?”, you ask.

“Gujarat”

“Wtf! Who does their MBA from gujarat. This guy looked smart to me!”, you think to yourself.

“Oh ok. Where from in Gujarat?”, you ask.

“IIM Ahmedabad”

:)

While this scenario is fictitious, it represents our life in a weird way.

The guy stated a fact. IIM Ahmedabad is indeed in gujarat.

But the truth you established from that fact, was driven by your biases, your perception.

And until you clarified, that truth would reside in you, as a fact.

The truth is merely a reflection of your beliefs, values and experiences.

It is unique to you

It’s your view

And it’s not an absolute

The truth is not a fact

It’s a feeling

You were supposed to get something done

And you couldn’t

So you would come up with that elegant savior of all times

An excuse

As if, the excuse is good enough

Since you have an excuse, you are seemingly pardoned from the crime of not doing the job

Now go back to a normal day – and consciously count the number of excuses you throw at people, including yourself

To not do what you are supposed to do

To not eat right

To not work out.

To not binge watch.

To not get angry.

To not slacken.

To not be ungrateful.

To not blame others.

And ask yourself –

at what point did I allow my excuses to become bigger than my goals?

Don’t regret what eventually happened or didnt

Regret what you did or didn’t to make it happen

Don’t regret that you didn’t make it

Regret that you didn’t even try

Imagine

You, a male, are shouting at your wife/girlfriend in the middle of the market. Almost getting physically abusive.
An observer, draws the courage to come up to you and says, “you do know you should be respectful towards women?”
At that moment, it strikes you that this person is right.
You are being a jerk. When you know you shouldn’t.
It isnt the right thing to do
You take this person’s advice – apologize to your wife/girlfriend for your behavior and promise to sort it out through meaningful mature dialogue

And you move on

Let me add a twist

What if, somehow, moments before this person approached you, to show you the mirror, you got to know that he is a convicted rapist, who has served his sentence.

Most likely, your reaction then, to his statement would be
“Well, that a bit rich coming from you, jackass!”

Now take this rather unlikely situation and see how this happens EVERYDAY to all of us

When we dismiss someone’s feedback, feedback that we know is true, just because we also know that the giver is guilty of committing the same crime?

As if the crime didn’t happen

“Don’t commit fraud”
“Well, what about when you committed it?

“Spend more time with your loved ones”
“Why dont you start by doing it first?”

“Why dont you quit your job if you are so miserable?”
“How come you are still at your job?”

“I dont think you should do this”
“How come you didn’t feel the same when you did this?”

The source of true feedback, doesn’t make the feedback irrelevant
Stop shooting the messenger! 

Most of us think of success as relative.

Am I more successful than him?

Does she have more fame than me?

What do I need to do to become wealthier than him?

Success isn’t relative

Achievement is

And we confuse success with achievement

Success is absolute – what you feel within. It has only one measurement – the one defined by you.