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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
True success is not what you have been led to believe
Million dollar home
Million (or billions) in funding
Press coverage
Facebook and instagram shares
Awards
Top lists
Jury invites
Special passes
Autographs
Success!
Success – in the form we all have been trained to believe exists.
Success – that we all work towards. Crave for.
A misplaced definition of what the world chose for you and me.
Do you sleep well at night?
Does your body feel healthy?
Does your brain feel trained? Used?
Does your conscience feel right?
Do you dance, sing, smile when alone?
Do you feel like waking up every morning, wanting to know yourself better
Does your charm make people give way to you without you asking
Can you maintain eye contact
Can you listen, even to the man in the mirror
Can you outwork anyone, anyway, without knowing if you will succeed or not?
Does your meaning seem worth it? To you?
Are you successful within?
It’s not what you know today, that makes you awesome
At 22, I was a shy, low on confidence, single track mind, under exposed to the world guy.
Nothing to write home about.
So when I meet a 22 year old confident kid, who knows the world, who understands the power of story telling, who knows their own self and their place in the world, I cannot help but fall in love.
When I interview a fresher, I admire that some of them know so much for their age and are focused, curious, hungry and ambitious.
It will be unfair for me to compare them with those who have had time.
Just as it would be unfair if you were to compare yourself with an achiever and feel shitty about yourself. That achiever has most likely been at this for longer than you have.
It’s not what you know today, that makes you awesome or not.
It’s who you can be tomorrow, should you continue on the path you are on.
Today we are all a fact. Tomorrow we can also be a dream.
Bringing about change
I always take the front seat when in a cab. Besides being more convenient, it is also respectful. Never understood the deal about sitting behind.
Today though I was terrified.
Because the seat belt wasn’t working.
All through the ride, I found myself reaching out to the belt, subconsciously. I felt naked. Incomplete. Scared.
And I remembered the day, when seat belts were made mandatory in Delhi.
People revolted, ironically, against a law that was meant to save their life.
They found hacks. Loose belts, fake belts, putting it on only when they saw a cop.
Today, there is massive compliance. An entire generation has now grown up in the seat belt world, as a default!
Sounds familiar?
I am hopeful of a time when people will be terrified to use cash
I am hopeful of a time when people will be terrified to drive a car
I am hopeful of a time when people will be terrified to remain on earth
And all of these will require dramatic steps. There is no “getting used to them over time” mode.
Humans don’t like change. Best way to bring about change is to bring it in a single cut. Today.
Who is winning?
During a match or race, this is such a valid question.
During a debate or a conversation though, no other question can be worse off.
When stepping into a debate, the intention is to discuss, put your point across and listen. Perhaps refine your view, or establish it even further in your head.
More importantly, it gives food for thought for those on the fence. The half informed, the ones still deciding, the reluctant, the evaluating crowd.
Don’t try to convince the other side that you are right.
Don’t try to win conversations
Try to have one instead
Reconstruct yourself
Thought experiment
You lose your memory. But science has advanced. The reconstruction device can selectively gather your memory from someone else and upload it to yours. But it can only do so for 5 people.
5 people
Their memories about you
Uploaded onto your brain
To reconstruct yourself
Who will those 5 people be?
What is it that they know about you that’s so precious?
How did they come to know of it all?
How often do you go back into those memories yourself?
Why are those memories important?
Why are you spending time gathering others?
Will this process be able to reconstruct a better you, than you today?
A happier you?
Isn’t it surprisingly how the sum of these 5 parts seems better than the whole?
Isn’t it strange that despite this fact we still end up creating a different whole.
A lesser whole.
When we start thinking of people not as a judge rather as a mirror, is when we reconstruct our best self.
Give everyone a mask
I am a big fan of anonymity.
It works. No one can deny it.
And no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you care, no matter how much you listen – radical honesty isn’t easy to come through.
Embrace anonymity.
Invite anonymous questions for the town hall
Have an anonymous feedback form for your work
Call in for anonymous suggestions on how to grow
And anonymous ratings for your colleagues
At all times keep your ears open.
Belonging doesn’t establish itself by putting names to emotions. Rather the belief that one’s emotions will be heard.
Stick to your decisions
Stick to your decisions
It’s terrible advice, in my opinion, in these times.
The platform that we are all standing on today, is changing.
Every moment.
The only religion then, worthy of standing by, is the belief that you took the best possible decision in the circumstance that you were in, with the data that you were aware of.
That doesn’t qualify this decision to be the best one going forward.
It has an expiry date. And that expiry date could be now.
In the present, our decisions seem like facts
When the only fact is, that looking back all our decisions were merely opinions.
And opinions could change. Should change.
Don’t fall in love with your decisions
I am scared
I am scared
Not because I have witnessed the result of the decisions
Not because I know exactly how much it will take
Not because I have failed before and know what it feels like
Rather I have heard how it sounds
I have been told what failure is like
I have seen it from a distance. Not happen to me. But to others
And that isn’t a good feeling
We wouldn’t believe most things unless we see it for ourselves
Yet, we conveniently imagine failure of others as ours
Ask yourself
Are you scared because you have SEEN yourself as a loser? Or you have simply IMAGINED yourself as one?
Noisemakers are important
Only 5% create noise
Only 5% create ruckus
Only 5% break the law
Only 5% are brutal, unsympathetic, cruel and don’t care
They don’t necessarily win in the end, or get their way. And even if they do, it’s short lived and gives a false impression of victory.
But they alter the path
They force the 95% to take notice
They force the 95% to work harder
They force the 95% to think beyond the normal,the obvious
And that’s why, even though the noise makers are not ideal, they are necessary.
Next time you see one
Make sure you are not one of them
Make sure you don’t become them
Make sure you see beyond them, to see how they can help alter the path for the good.
Alter your path, for the good.
The Curse of Intelligence, or why do conflicts happen at work?
Three reasons
Misalignment of incentives: happens 20% of the cases
The conflicting parties are not aligned towards the same goals. One has been told to increase sales at all costs. One has been told to reduce costs whatever it takes.
Managers are almost always to be blamed.
Leadership is the root cause here. Rather poor communication architecture within the leadership.
Doesn’t care about alignment: happens 5% of the cases
This guy is someone you should fire. They are optimizing for their life. Their goals. They don’t care about anything else. You know such people, don’t you? We met one in The Dark Knight as well.
People come up with solutions. Not problems: happens 75% of the time
I call it “The Curse of Intelligence”
Intelligent people have been trained to solve. To fix things. And to not stop until fixed.
So the moment they encounter a problem, they begin to think of solutions. Mostly half baked, I would argue. Considering it’s coming from an individual without any collective discussion or reasoning.
And it’s the solution that’s proposed. Not the problem to be fixed.
Suddenly, the discussion is focusing itself on the solution. And whether the solution should be implemented. And arguments are ensuing on the worthiness of the solution. No one is asking “what is it that we are trying to solve here?”
The problem is not the focus. Its the solution
Classic – outcome vs output.
“Let’s put banners all across the site because” – solution
“I want new merchants to get visibility so that they have a shot at selling” – problem
“We need more money for marketing” – solution
“We are not retaining enough customers we are acquiring” – problem
“I need a raise” – solution
“I am getting married and my expenses are set to increase” – problem
“I want to quit” – solution
“I am not challenged by my work” – problem
Do yourself a favor the next time.
Walk in with the problem.
Make the effort to describe it well.
Make the effort to identify the grief it is causing.
Make the effort to pick the metric to track
And let the solution be discussed. Not proposed.
Fall in love with the problem. Not the solution.
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