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People aren’t motivated to do what “they should do”.

They are motivated by what “they could do”.

The mountain they can climb.

The peak they can conquer.

The notion they can dispel about themselves.

The payback attached to it.

The excitement of reaching something big.

And the belief that it’s within their grasp to do so.

People aren’t motivated to do the normal. They are inspired to go beyond the normal.

People often regret things they couldn’t have done.

An alternate suggestion is to consider things you don’t regret doing more of.

And suddenly what’s not necessary emerges, hopefully leaving time and space to do what’s necessary

I don’t wish I could have slept more

I don’t wish I could have gotten angrier

I don’t wish I could have stayed longer with that bad boss

I don’t wish I could have continued to hate myself

I don’t wish I could have spent more money on buying things I didn’t need

I don’t wish I could have been more mean

I don’t wish I could have….

Over this weekend I was part of a rather interesting event.

On parenting in today’s world.

As I was gathering my thoughts to share with the audience, I realized how much being an entrepreneur has helped me in parenthood. And as Vidur turns 7, I can see how parenting is helping back in the entrepreneurial journey too.

What became evident rather quickly, from the questions and reactions, few of us are prepared for parenting.

As humans, we are horrible at understanding other people. We are unpredictable, biased, judgmental, emotional, layered with our own context – to truly have the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and make sense of it.

Being a parent requires not just that, but also the ability to guide, direct, advice and (as most of us unfortunately believe) command.

Not easy!

Here are 3 thoughts that have helped me

• Stop calling them special.

They are most likely not. And even if they are, don’t trick them into believing that being special means you are never wrong, you will never fail, and even if you participate you still win a medal!

That’s not real life.

• Realize that you are technically incapable of telling them what they should become

The world is changing so rapidly, that the notion of parents still trying to impose careers into their kids – doctors, engineers, lawyers – is laughable.

As average parents we are horribly ill equipped to predict the future. So let’s stop telling them what they should become.

Instead let’s train them on how they should think about it.

• Don’t take away their immersion

The biggest asset in today’s world is the ability to focus.

And kids have that.

When they play.

When they forget everything. Food, TV, sleep, school.

And immerse themselves in a task – that consumes them.

Don’t interrupt. Don’t call them for lunch or dinner. Don’t order them to sleep. Don’t ask them to pack up. Let them be.

Funny how critical the role of a parent is to shape the future of our world.

And how many of us are just not prepared.

Worst still, we rely on history (our parents) to tell us what we should do.

History can only teach us why we did what we did. Not what we should do going forward.

Enroll yourself in the school of parenting. That’s the one profession that matters.

At any given point, there will be a lot of people who will seem to know where you should head to.

And there will perhaps be only you, who might know how to get there.

Don’t let them believe they are more important or know more than you do.

Commentary, as much as an art, will always be easier than being on the ground playing.

The most amusing thing in the world is to get LinkedIn invites from people who call themselves “internet visionary”.

I am not judging their capability to be one. Rather their need to claim to be one.

Here is the difference between visionaries and people who are not

If you are a visionary – most of what you say suggests that. So you don’t have to ever say that you are a visionary.

You know what else is amusing?

People calling themselves leftists, inclusive, feminists, liberals, conservatives, a sensation, nerds, progressives.

Your actions have already determined a name for you. So you can stop calling yourself anything.

Conversation with my Uber drive this morning

Here is the key to make Uber work for drivers.

Traffic, at a given point of time, is mostly unidirectional.

So when you drop someone, don’t wait there for your next trip.

Because most likely people are just getting dropped there. And not waiting to be picked.

Instead, go to a cluster similar to where you picked your ride from.

In the mornings, wait near residences. In the evening wait near offices.

Common sense, isn’t it?

Yet elegant, powerful, logical, actionable.

Go where your customers are. Don’t wait for them to come to you.

Go where your employees are. Don’t wait for them to come to you.

Go where your future is. Don’t wait for it to come to you.

Go where you wish to go. Don’t wait for life to come to you.

The world loves to celebrate warriors. People who have wounds to heal, scars to show, stories to tell.

And every distress situation generates a warrior.

It needn’t be at war. In fact most warriors don’t emerge from war, as much as they do from real life.

Battling adversity. Fighting against all odds. Suffering.

Unfortunately,

There are no wounds to show if you are happy.

And that night it hard for you to be celebrated. Worse still, feel good about your own self.

And if that happens, do remind yourself –

living a scarless life isn’t such a bad deal.

Here is a sure shot way to make a group of people extremely uncomfortable

Ask them to close their eyes

And then don’t say anything

For 5 seconds

10, 15, 30, 60

Most likely it won’t last for 60 seconds – people would have already opened their eyes.

People find others difficult.

When the most difficult person to spend time with, is your own self.

Can you spend 5 mins with yourself, everyday?

If you could, would you have made friends with your own self?

Revenge is the weakest of human emotions. It indicates one has reached such a point that their “happiness” is predisposed on someone’s misery.

Pause and think about it for a second.

Your happiness depends on someone else’s misery.

You know what else feels like revenge?

Our education system.

The same one that tells us that seats are limited, opportunities are limited, your chances are limited.

So the only way to win, is when someone else loses.

You succeed as much because you are good, as because your competition was bad.

Revenge shouldn’t be the way to make you feel good about yourself.

Because worse than no exercise

Is the illusion of exercise

The 25 mins neck warmup

The 1kg bicep curl

The push up that’s never quite one

The squats that never go down

The counting that jumps from 4 to 6 to 10, when no one is looking

The 4kmph “run”

The “checking your phone because you know, something important” moment

The mirrors serve a purpose

Of making you feel ridiculed and laughed at, by none other than your own self.

These are mirrors of embarrassment.

And I contest, that we need them everywhere

Not just in gyms