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Comfort is a trap.
Getting out of that trap is real success.

How to know if we are challenging our comfort zone?

By asking ourselves the question:
“Is there a high probability of success when we do something?”

If yes, we are getting comfortable.
If not, we are on the right track of challenging ourselves.

Consistently going towards things where success is less probable and if it still comes in, we are successfully breaking the bubble of comfort zone.

It’s a wonderful goal to lose 10kgs in 3 months.
Or to make sure you get promoted this year.
Or to find the love of your life within a year.

However we don’t have a basis for setting that goal..
And if we don’t reach the goal, we call ourselves a failure.

An alternate then is to not set goals.
Instead, take some action daily.

I will workout daily
I will gather feedback on all my projects, even if they might not be positive..
I will be genuinely interested in people and say hi to every new person I meet..

Over time, the need for action will be replaced by addiction to action.

Goals can make you look like a winner or a loser.
Habits only have winners! 

A great way to ace video interviews is to have a customised background.
The background is a function of whom you are interacting with.

If the interviewer is a risk-taker, let the background define yourself that way.
If the interviewer is risk-averse, let the background be modest while defining who you are.

It will require research.
It will require you know the interviewer fully well, before meeting them.
It would require you to make efforts to go beyond a one size fits all background.

Don’t personalise it. Make it personal.
– Seth Godin

Free time is something we all should make room for, in our days.
Not on days when there are less items to cross.
Rather every day, even on the busiest ones.

Read books.
Practise a skill you are inclined towards.
Or just do nothing and be alone.

It is not time wasted.
Rather if we do not make free time, the “productive” time would be longer, hazy and even confusing. 

Most of life is to maximize our free time. 

We should stop feeling bad.
We should stop feeling hurt over what’s over.
We should stop feeling regretful.

This is the advice we get when we are going through a negative emotion.
While this is what we know we should do, it is exactly what we are unable to do.

We want the negative emotion to go, but it persists.
The negative emotion persists, because we are resisting it.

What if, we just let it in?
What if we accepted that we are feeling this way?
What if we acknowledged the emotion instead of masking it as an elephant in the room that never existed?

When letting go doesn’t work, letting in does.

If we do not consume alcohol, our default response is to believe the ones consuming it are bad people.
If we do not party on weekends, our default response is to believe the ones doing so are bad people.
If we do not believe in relationships before marriage, our default response is to believe the ones who have them are bad people.
We have these moralistic views of what comprises good or bad in people! Driven by what we do. 

People don’t do things because they are bad people. They do it because in their head they have come to terms with what comprises good or bad. Just as we have a definition of it as well. 

Actions don’t make people good or bad.
Our beliefs make them so! 

It is easy to feel hurt. when someone gives you harsh feedback.  

However, if you only focused on the feedback and not the tone of it, you would perhaps learn something new.. 

• Don’t pay attention to the noise. Focus on the signal.
• There is always something more to know. Knowing everything is the beginning of stopping to know.
• Own it up and fix things.

The only superpower that could never be taken away from us is being real, is being us.
Zero competition! 

We all want to learn fast.
Maximise our experience in the least possible time.
And be able to tackle the right problems.

Reading helps us do that.

Not fiction. Instead psychology, human behaviour, history, biographies, self help.

Not only will they help us gain more wisdom, they will also take us out of trenches of bad mood.
Not only will they help us use our time better, they will also allow us to make our future better.
Not only are they a lifetime of wisdom compressed into several hours, they will also save us from the same mistakes.

The second best way to learn from mistakes is to commit them.
The best way is to read.

You want to explore.
Your parents want you to settle down.

No matter how much you try, things aren’t moving..

However, here’s a fact:
Our parents want exactly the same thing as we do: our happiness.
Their proposed path may be different, intentions aren’t.

If we try to listen to them and explain our perspectives, things will most likely change directions.
If they don’t despite you showing your happiness, financial freedom and others’ examples, perhaps you need to move out.

Do either.
But don’t let resentment live in a heart where your parents should.

The world runs on instant gratification today.

The instant likes, the instant comments, the instant live. 

However, this quick dopamine boost does more harm than good.
The reality is, all good things take time and effort.

True love, true relationships, true friendship, true meaning and fulfillment in work, true well being – physical, mental, emotional.

All the time! 

The quicker we realise good things don’t come quickly, more will we enjoy the daily small actions towards the long journey, even if they don’t give instant rewards.