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How to deal with failure?

Fail often.

Not the kind of failing in exams, or making a disastrous life decision.

Rather the smallest of things.
Asking a stranger for money.
Greeting a stranger in the elevator.
Sending that cold email to the CEO of the company you want to work with.

Worst case? You will fail.

Great. That is the intention.

However, in it will you understand how to build the muscle of dealing with failure. Which is what you were looking for – how to deal with failure.

I am right.
What I did was right.
I am always doing the right thing.

Vs

I could have been wrong.
Let me know the truth versus figuring who is right and who is not.
There is more power in knowing the right thing to do, than to know who is right.

Smart people, when they start doing the right thing versus trying to be the right person, is when they eventually become wiser.

There are a lot of nice people.
Nice because being nice is nice.
Nice because they want you to think nice of them.
Nice because who wants to not be nice and be a bad person.

And then there are truly kind people.
Who truly care, without wondering if others think they are nice or not.
Who be the bigger person in every conversation.
Who want everyone to win, together.

Anyone can be nice. But the truly nice people, are also kind.

It is what you feel within.

For what it has made you.

And for what you have become.

Achievement is rarely something that is to be shown. It is only a feeling.

It ceases to be an achievement if the only purpose of it is to show off to people.

I hate my boss. I will now go and start up.

Except, it perhaps might not help you

3 wrong reasons to startup

1. I want to get rich
2. I hate my current life
3. Everyone else is doing it

3 right reasons why your job might be the best for you:

1. You are obsessed with building
2. You cannot stop thinking about the product
3. You want to do something that will help others as well.

When you pick the right reasons, there is no way you cannot be successful :)

I dropped out of my PhD in the US.
100% scholarship.
Handsome stipend.

Yet, because I was not happy, I decided to quit.

Someone asked me the other day (almost 18 years after that happened), “Would you still drop out if you had sponsored your education, instead of it being on a scholarship?”

It got me thinking.
No one had ever asked me this question before.

And the answer is no.

I would not have quit.

I come from very humble backgrounds.
Not born with a silver spoon.
Hand-to-mouth existence for the longest time

So affording an international education in itself would have been a dream come true, which I would not have abandoned.

That is why, I suggest everyone make their life decisions based on their own life.

You are not living my life.
I am not living your life.
And you are certainly not living any influencer’s life.

Your life. Your choices.
Use the content you see online to get inspired. Not to mimic.
And you will be more than fine :)

We all love awards. 

Even I did.

I won Fortune 40U40 for 2 years of the 4 years I was CEO of Groupon India.

It was a lovely role.
Great money,
Global role,
High visibility – but not that required a lot of effort. 

And then I started nearbuy.

The BEST years of my life.

Worked my best, built a great team, a whole new brand from scratch, managed massive lows while celebrating immense highs. 

And I never won the award again!

Goes to show that the award is rarely paid to the person.
It is paid for the role. 

True for every award.
True for every job. 

What to do if I have to give up on my dreams?
It is heartbreaking to give up on your dreams.
I understand.
However whenever someone asks me this question, here is what I tell them:

1. Realise that the thing you gave up in lieu of that dream is also your dream.
2. It may be a need, it may be a compulsion, however, that is also something you can turn into your own dream.
3. Even in the moments you are not making a choice, you are making a choice. And that makes you feel more comfortable.

The first dream may not always come true.
However, for the new dream that you pick up, may make you come more alive through that. If you choose to :)

You will free yourself the day you stop blaming your parents for what they did to you.

Maybe they did a lot of wrong.
However, if you give it back to them, aren’t you behaving exactly the manner you didn’t want to be treated?

Forgiveness does not mean condoning.
Most cases, it also does not mean living together.
However, if we don’t forgive them, we are eventually letting their flaws live free in our head.

And you wanted to be a free bird, isn’t it, my friend?
The best time to let go of what weighed you down was yesterday.
The second best time is today.