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Our lives are shaped up by our perspective. 

Our childhood memories

Our value system 

Our friends and family 

Our experiences 

Our conversations 

Our media 

Our governments

Over time, all these help establish the perspective. The frame of reference against which we see ourselves everyday. 

And we come to accept it as our own. 

To the point where our path to success has been verified by only one person out there 

Ourselves! 

Suddenly, the biggest threat to our success becomes the perspective of other people 

How do they see the world differently. The very same world. 

We don’t want to change our path to success. We don’t want to mix it up. What if it messes up the chances. What if it’s rejected by my mind. What if it isn’t what I agree with? 

And yet, time and again, people who have opened up their minds to wider perspectives, are the ones we admire and adore. 

Don’t let anyone else define success or failure for you. But hear them define it for themselves. That might influence your definition. 

Most advertising is about “launches”

Here is our new product 

We have raised funding 

This is what we are going to do 

This is who we are

This is what the future looks like 

Time and money worth Billions of dollars is invested, everyday for such advertising speak 

There is another form of advertising, far cheaper and far more effective. 

The one that happens once the job is done. 

The one which isn’t about what you are going to do, rather what you have achieved. 

Ironically, such advertisement is most often not sponsored by you. It’s crowdfunded. 

We did it > We will do it 

Let the outcome of your actions become your advertisement, instead of the initiation of your actions. 

In response to a question on Quora, I recalled 3 things that I learnt in my first ever job

While the first one was almost an instant realization, the second and third were formed over years and has taken time to transform from a hypothesis to a theorem 

It’s been over 13 years, and it still holds true

If you do what everyone else is doing, you will end up being what everyone else is. To rise above everyone, you have to do things differently

Your manager has a far bigger role to play in your learning than the leadership

Your leadership has a far bigger role to play in the culture of the company than your manager

One of my favorite interview questions is “do you like starting things or finishing things?”

Almost 80% people like to start things. Shouldn’t come as a surprise though. 

Finishing is much harder. 

Finishing that project requires a lot more than starting it 

Driving a conclusion requires a lot more than initiating the discussion meeting 

Making the product work requires a lot more than starting to code the product

Building an organization where people love to come to work requires a lot more than hiring people 

Starting projects is what people do a lot more than completing them 

But thoughts work very differently 

Thinking never truly finishes. And hence, it’s the beginning that’s the hardest. 

Taking the first step to imagine, to listen, to comprehend, to think – is super super hard 

Once you have imagined or reimagined a thought – converting it into action is a unique path you will define, sooner than later (repeat – starting a task is easier than finishing it) 

The key then is – to start a thought 

I have been given some very valuable, gracious feedback on how this blog is a thought starter. 

They think it’s because I am experienced and am living through these emotions before most. 

I know it’s a thought starter because I keep it simple. 

The goal is NOT to define the path, not to be a self help book, but to plant thoughts and ideas. 

To just write in simple language what I thought of a certain situation in my life. 

No fancy words, no complex models, no fancy theorems, no patents filed! 

I am no intellectual. And I don’t pretend to be one. 

But when I read super insightful material written in a manner that only a few people can comprehend, I wish even the intellectuals didnt think of themselves as one. 

Ironically, our need to maintain our intellectual status ends up alienating the same people we wish to change

You get up every morning 

You show up

You slog it out 

You do the right things

You work really really hard

Don’t cheat, don’t steal, don’t beg, don’t lie

Here is the honest truth – people don’t care

The world doesn’t owe you it’s time just because you do the right thing the right way

The world owes you it’s time only because you have made it worth it for them 

Back in the Stone Age, the basic instinct was to survive. From animals, nature, any possible danger. 

Our brains were constantly working. Doing an almost great job of telling us when we need to watch out. 

I am assuming this single trait allowed us to survive through billions of years and “evolve” 

“Unfortunately” the brain has evolved much better than we might have expected.

It still works well to remind us of the danger ahead. What might hurt us. 

But the nature of that danger has changed. It’s not physical as much as it is emotional. It’s not arrows and spears and stones as much as it is words and feelings. 

The brain, everyday, is telling us not to do things that will be dangerous for us

Don’t ask that question. The world will make you feel stupid 

Don’t quit that job. You will lose social reputation 

Don’t wake up. Sleep will give you the needed rest

Don’t say you love her. It will make you vulnerable 

Don’t take that unpopular decision. People will not like you anymore. 

Overtime, dangers to mankind have reduced considerably. We are not threatened by extinction everyday nor do we think we might not return home at the end of the day. 

However overtime, our feelings that the brain manifests as danger, have taken over our actions.

What hasn’t changed though is – who in the tribe wins. 

The one that wins over the danger

And the danger today is our brain telling us to get comfortable. 

Nothing changes your life in 30 seconds 

Don’t fall for the trap, the easy diet, the short cut, the motivational video, the click bait, the pretty face, the higher pay. 

What will it take to be successful?

It will take everything! 

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Email from a colleague that’s moving on 

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I am an eternal optimist. People who know me well call me the irrational optimist. 

It’s my belief that the future is always beautiful. Tomorrow is always better than today. 

The operating word I chose to describe the future is better. 

It will be bigger. It will bring in more gratification. It will make you a more aware, a more experienced individual. It will bring peace, a sense of accomplshement or achievement. 

Unfortunately, most of us use the wrong operating word to describe the future. 

Easier 

Tomorrow will be easier than today 

Come to think of it – we have been raised this. 

Study tomorrow so that tomorrow is better (easier, is what they were hinting towards) 

Finish your education before so that you can depend on it tomorrow (education will make the future easier) 

Work hard in your 20s and 30s so that 40s are better (easier again) 

Instead, how about realizing the only truth of life 

Tomorrow is not going to be easier. It will be better, at best. 

And if that’s the case, the right question to ask is not if you are excited about the future. 

Instead,

Are you prepared for the future? 

Debt is largely a misunderstood financial instrument, especially at a consumer level. Somehow taking debt is not considered being financial prudent. While there is enough literature to suggest that debt can be a fantastic lever for growth, if managed well. 

Reason it carries a bad reputation is because of all the horror stories when the debt cannot be serviced. You can lose everything you had, because the debt providers have the first right to your property. 

But the normal world, where debt is serviced well everyday and individuals gain from this debt, largely goes unnoticed. Because hey, it’s the normal. 

There is another kind of debt servicing that rarely talked about. And I consider sheer evil. 

Emotional debt

Debt that we take on our head. Either by choice, or artificially planted. 

There is a fancy name for that too. Emotional blackmail. 

It’s debt, at the end of it. 

Because you tell yourself, irrespective of my situation and my need, I need to service this debt first. 

I cannot leave this job, because I had promised my boss I will stay

I cannot go back to work, because I had promised my kids I would be around 

I cannot take this decision, because it will betray the trust you have in me

I have to tell you how much I love you, and care for you, before I express my love for anything else

I have to fulfill my destiny here, before I fulfill it somewhere else 

Emotional debt is an intangible. It doesn’t exist. We created it. And we allowed it to grow. Because we don’t pay for it everyday. We accumulate interest for that one day when we will repay back the debt in all. 

And this fucks up our judgement. 

Here is what helps

Treating emotional debt as financial debt 

Take it only when you need it 

Pay it in monthly installments

Emotional debt has killed more people than financial debt ever will.