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This post is meant to spark a conversation – I am genuinely seeking help on how to build a gender neutral workplace

This women’s day, I shared stats about women representation at nearbuy.com – a piece that went “mini-viral”
Share of women: 34%
Share of women in tech: 29%

Impressive, I assume

However, here is the reality

This month, 3 women colleagues – great at what they do, had to leave because of a change in their personal situation (got married in a different city or husband is moving to a new city).

In each of the situations, they wanted to continue working with nearbuy – and we tried to figure out options (remote work etc) but couldnt come up with any elegant situation that didnt harm work or their ability to grow.

Early this year, we lost 2 more colleagues to similar circumstances

And I know (as of today) of 3 more such cases before the end of the year

We lost 8 women colleagues, extremely capable professionals, because they got married or their husband moved cities
In 10 years I have encountered only 1 case of a male professional leaving their workplace because of his partner.

How am I supposed to deal with this?
I needed suggestions from the audience – how do I build a gender-balanced workplace in light of the above situation?

PS: Dont need to hear “this is the reality” – I am not looking for validation. I am looking for ideas

In school, I was fascinated with Nike, the brand

I knew it as “Niek” back then

And all day long, on every blank space possible – I used to draw the swoosh and sketch “just do it”

I decided that if I ever get a tattoo it will be the swoosh, on the mount of my palm.

Never managed to buy a pair of Nike shoes though. Never had enough money early on and by the time I did, other similar brands came cheaper!

Last year, I read Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight, founder of Nike.

Hands down the best book of last year. Possibly across many more years.

It rekindled my fascination with Nike, the brand.

I wondered what it would be to run in a Nike

I wondered if it was true, what Eisenhower (founder of Nike) said

This birthday, Ravi gifted me a pair of Nike shoes.

One of the most thoughtful gifts ever :))

And I was so excited

For my Monday run

Yesterday, I wore the shoes

Didn’t feel any different

Walked in them

Didn’t feel any different

Started to run in them

Felt the same as my Puma

Ran for 3Kms

The Nike didn’t feel any different

Then I looked at my timer

What every time takes me 18 mins to run, had taken me 15mins

So instead of running at 10kmph I had ran for 12kmph

I had gained 20% in a day.

On a day when I felt there was no difference

My mind was telling me something that day

But my subconscious had been listening to something else for years

Guess who won

It all boils down to the story you have telling yourself all this while

And if there was none, today’s story will win!

There was a time when content was not democratic

There was a lot of effort put into production. But distribution was almost dictatorial.

Set TV hours for each show.
The TV shows were decided by someone else
Their timings were decided by someone else
Their content was decided by someone else
Same for movies
Same for songs
Same for news
No one got to make them.
No one got to chose what to consume
No 10/20/30 second edits – either you consume all of it or you dont

People hated it.
I can understand why

So then came the biggest technology intervention that few talk about

Personalization

Content today, is a reflection of your interests, your reactions, your engagement.

Its constantly tracking you, and delivering freshly baked content to appeal to your senses.

To get you hooked!

Creating mini-you in the guise of that news item, that movie edit, that user-generated song, that viral forward

This scares me

Personalization is wiping out the ability for us to form opinions.

Technology was meant to help us see things from a different point of view.
Instead, machines are working to make us more and more enclosed in our worlds.
Making us believe that its the entire world

Thats why books are unique
A colleague mentioned this yesterday
I love books, because they are not personalized
They werent written for me. They were written by someone.

So we have no choice, but to consume the perspective of the author.
Accept or reject – but consume first.

Which is far better than being supplied stuff that endorses my point of view and never allows for a different one to set in.

To work on my neck and cheek bones, I got two bricks, placed them on top of each other, wrapped a cotton cloth around them and created a sling knot.

Idea is to hold the knot by biting it with your teeth. That puts pressure on your cheek bones. And if you make your head go up and down, it works on the back side of your neck.

So everyday, I walk from home to the gym with two bricks hanging from a cloth piece held between my jaws.

People give me the looks

People in the gym ask me what’s this all about

People are intrigued

The responses are quite funny, ranging from “is he mad?” to “wow, look at him”

The attention to this unusual thing, is quite amusing

Except,

My cheek bones are pretty much still there

It might take 2-3 months, even more for the effects to show

There might be no effects at all

Another reminder of life

Unusual things will get you a lot of attention

And that attention will make you believe you are on the right track

But it’s not the attention that influences the outcome

Stop measuring the success of your outcome, by the attention your work gets.

2 traits define people who work with you

Capable

and

Compatible

Despite the best interview processes and intent, there are errors that creep in.

And it’s super critical to take a hard stand on such errors

I have never regretted firing someone. I have only regretted not doing it early enough

The easiest are people who are neither capable nor compatible.

Such cases need deep honest introspection. How did they get past the system, the checks, the balances.

Irrespective of seniority, my experience is that it takes no more than a month to find such people.

Take them out on the first day of the second month!

Next are people who are not capable but compatible

These individuals need attention. Training. Mentorship. Guidance.

If done right, they can win. But organizations need to have the will and more importantly the patience to see them through

In my experience, these individuals can be identified in 3 months. And I would give them another 3-6 months to upskill. Else unfortunately counseled out

Capable but not compatible is a tricky one.

My personal experience – such cases never work out in the long run.

These are hard to conclude, extremely painful to execute and you will almost always want to live in denial.

In my experience, these take easily a year to surface.

Doing the right thing requires immense courage

To me, these decisions is the hallmark of a seasoned entrepreneur or manager

In the long run, compatibility is greater than capability

Let a capable person not tell you otherwise!

Avoid

People who think of themselves higher than you think of them

They don’t want to grow.

They think they have already done everything

They have a misplaced sense of self worth

Developed largely by their own minds

Not by feedback

Hold on to

People who hold you to a standard much higher than you hold yourself to

They genuinely want you to win

They see in you a much higher order than you do yourself

And they act as the motivating mirror

Always showing you not who you are

Rather who you can be

The most dangerous kinds

People who think of themselves higher than you think of them AND hold you to a

higher standard than you hold yourself to

These individuals give you the impression they wish to help you.

They give the impression they want to fight with you

Not to make you a better version of yourself

But to make you lose

To tell you that even at your best, you are only a shade of who they are

(Most so-called mentors fall in this category!)

Knowing the kind of people around you, is the first step to improving yourself

Eliminating the toxic ones is the best step to improving yourself

Patriotism is when you like your country for what it does

Nationalism is when you like your country irrespective of what it does

Are you a patriot or a nationalist, when it comes to your startup?

Vidur (my 6yr old) has been learning the piano for a year now.
And he is really good at it.
He can read and write notes
And usually understands new notes faster than anyone in class
And then plays it by memory
Has also started creating his own music.
Which doesn't have much sense, but sounds peaceful when I hear it

There is one thing he hates though
Practice
And that worries the shit out of me!

Two words can predict someone's professional outcome accurately

Talent
Hard work

Think of a 2×2 matrix – talented (yes or no) on one axis and hardworking (yes or no) on the other

The worst is of course no talent and not hardworking
But the one after that is talented but not hardworking
Because the hardworking but not talented guy will any day beat the shit out of the talented guy

Hard working people know how to convert their hard work into talent
Talented people are poor. They only have their talent!

People use the term as if it's interchangeable. But it's not.

The titles are of course different
Founder – founded the company
CEO – runs the company

If it's the same person with both the titles, it is supremely critical to know the distinction

And I was made to realize it again day before

Founder – executes.
He knows what it takes to build the company, has a view on the market and the product.
Thus, a review meeting turns into a workshop
Where he identifies a problem and rolls up his sleeve to solve it

CEO – delegates.
He knows he has the team to build the company, bases his views on what his trusted people tell him, has his ears to the ground but knows that he cannot be the one fixing things
Thus, a review meeting remains a review meeting
This should be looked at again.
This is great
What drive this conclusion?
Yeah, we all agree this doesn't work. Fix it!
When he identifies a problem, he trusts his team to find out how to solve it
And he ensures there is nothing in their way, to do so

The important thing then is to know when to act as a founder and when to act as a CEO

During a founder conversation, don't become a CEO
During a CEO conversation, don't become a founder

It's been precisely 2 years since we became nearbuy from Groupon

And I honestly didn't expect such high and lows when we started on this journey.

In my head, it was a lot more stable and a lot more predictable
Instead – it was 2 years of fascinating highs and terrible lows.

And in the middle of all of this – the key is then to manage your own narrative.
What is the story you tell yourself every single day

Managing one's mind remains the single biggest determinant of startup outcome

Everything else – market, funding, team – is a manifestation of your thoughts

How you stand in front of your team, your investors, your customers and your vendors – is how the startup stands during the journey

Reminds me of one of the important statements in the Hard Things about Hard Things