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There’s a group meeting. And you want to share your point.

However, no one really listens. It’s just an endless discussion.

In such times, it’s fun and intriguing how the habit of Hollywood Keanu Reeves comes to help. Whenever someone else is speaking, he doesn’t speak a word. None. He just listens intently.

And when he does speak finally, his words end up getting more respect and exuberance.

Because he really cares to listen to others, all he gets is the same thing multiplied.   

When we listen and then speak up something that’s strong and thoughtful, our words end up having more power and respect.

You’ve been trying too hard.
Days, weeks, and months – relentlessly.
Still you’re not getting the results you want.

Sounds familiar?
Is every repeated effort of yours a replica of the last effort?

What if you tried different things this time?

Not getting results doesn’t mean giving up on the goal.
It simply means giving up on the current path and choosing a different one.

Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is insanity.– Albert Einstein

Eating junk food in an immaculately dressed plate.
Sitting in the right posture to binge watch Netflix..
Keeping your phone at the right eye distance to scrolling Instagram indefinitely.

Sounds weird right?
An odd combination of doing the wrong things in an efficient manner.
But that is what we so often do.

Spend insane hours and time and effort on things that should not have been done in the first place.
Giving us a sense of busyness.
Of completeness.

Nothing is more useless in this world than to do something efficiently, that should not have been done at all.
– Peter Drucker

Someone spoke disrespectfully.
They were rude and mean.
More so, they didn’t even realise what they did..

And we felt hurt.
Not just when they said what they said.
But repeatedly after that, thinking of it.

However, whatever they said, they said it just once.
The playing of that audio and video on loop was done by us.

Hurt was not from outside in.
It was a repeated affirmation from inside.

One’s words have the power to hurt us once.
It is the repetition in our head that hurts us over and over again.

We are drawn towards people that have the same points of view as us.
They make us feel comfortable.
They make us feel safe.
Our worldviews, our belief systems, our values are held intact.

However, they don’t make us grow.
They simply validate our existing cocoon of beliefs.

If you truly want to grow, surround yourself with people who are totally unlike you, looking at whom you feel, “Iske saath toh hangout nahi ho paayega bhai. Yeh kaise ghus gaye?”
Those are the people you must spend your time with.

The next time you see someone and your response is, “They’re not my type,” ask yourself, “What is it that they know that I don’t?”
And then spend your time knowing them.
You’ll know more about the world than you did before.

You are irritated by the behaviour of others.
It frustrates you..
And they don’t even realise it.

So to teach them a lesson, you do the same thing to them.
Only, that it does not change them.
They do not see their fault through your actions.
There now remains no difference between them and you. 

“Now you know how it feels” is almost always the worst way to teach someone a lesson.

You want your point to be heard. After all, you are right.

The other person also believes the same.

The reality is that both of you are right. With a different lens to view the world. 

The best way to win the conversation, then, is to listen to them. It is in listening to them that we will also feel heard.

Don’t try to win conversations, try to have them instead.

Your colleagues are doing better than you.
The classmate who flunked in school is doing better.
Everyone’s life seems sorted, other than your own.

And all this makes you worried.
Perhaps jealous of their success.

But why are we jealous of it?
Because we are not focused on our own success.
We are not busy and lost working hard for ourselves.
We haven’t found that calm while enjoying our own journey.

If we are truly focused on our success, we can never be offended by someone else’s.

We are starting something new.
A new job. A new relationship. Moving to a new city.
And we’re scared.
We fear that we might fail.

However, what is it that we are really afraid of? Failing, or what will people think of us once we fail? 

All of us fail.
All of us are scared of it.
But when we introspect and get comfortable with what will make us uncomfortable in the first place, the failure suddenly doesn’t look scary! 

Failure is a probability of an outcome that will occur. We can’t avoid it.
What we can change is how we deal with it by asking ourselves the question: What is it that I am afraid of?

In a job, we often ask ourselves such questions
What do I want?
Why am I not being given what I was promised?
What is it that I like doing?

Essentially we want our needs to be attended to, while in a job.. However, no company does anything for us, whatever they do is for their own good. If it helps you in the process, great! 

How can one find success working in such a set-up?
By asking ourselves a question:
“What can I do to be successful?”

Success at work isn’t about our expectations being met.
Success at work is about asking what is needed to be successful.