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Words. Wisdom. Winners.

Why is there so much hate in the world?

Why is there so much hate in the world?
Why do people love putting others down?

When a kid is born, they are just their natural self. Happy. Curious. Non-judgemental. Free-flowing. They were not born knowing how to hate, or how to ridicule or how to discriminate people based on their color, caste, religion. 

So if we see hate around us, it is because we were taught how to hate. One hate at a time, compounded over many years.
All the hatred that we see around the world was taught by someone.

Think about that for a second.

What we teach someone, is what becomes their life.
What becomes their life, is what becomes the world we live in…

What’s the meaning of growing up

Growing up isn’t just about crossing numbers.
Growing up is about learning to let go.

Letting go when we’ve been betrayed.
Not because what they did was right.
Rather because we do not wish to be stuck there.
Because we don’t want to be a replica of them.
Because we do not seek revenge.

We have grown up when we don’t allow a betrayal to stop us from moving on. 

What are we optimising for?

If we are looking for a new job, what is the one thing we want? A great pay? An understanding boss? Work-life balance? Great learning?

When we are starting up, what is the one thing we are optimising for? Funding? Fame? A great team? Great culture? High growth?

While working out, what is the one thing we want? A lean body? A muscular body? Stamina? Strength?

We can get exponential results only when we know what is the one thing we want.
It’s one of my favourite questions to ask – what is the one thing you truly want from life? 

Because clarity is power. And awareness is everything!

If we don’t know what we want, then the next thing we want is everything.
And wanting everything will never lead us to the most important thing.

Jealous of other people’s success?

You are jealous of how much they earn..
The vacation they took.
The home they bought.

We are jealous of what others have and we don’t.

And we tell ourselves, “If we somehow could get what they have, life would become better.”

Just that it isn’t true.

Because we don’t get just part of someone’s life. We get their ENTIRE life. 

The stress.
The lack of privacy.
The constant scrutiny.
The intense pressure.

People’s lives are not modular. We can’t choose the parts we like.
If we are jealous of them, we better be ready to take on their entire life.

The biggest luxury of childhood

As a kid, maybe we were not given everything.
Maybe we didn’t have all the love in the family.
Maybe we did not go out like all other kids.
Maybe we were denied that shiny lunchbox.

However, what we got was something more special: the ability to appreciate everything.
And when we did get everything that we couldn’t as a child, it made us realise its value even more.

Not having everything is the biggest luxury of childhood.

Understanding that no one understands

When something bad happens, everyone says they’re in a lot of pain.
However, this pain that you are going through, only you can truly feel it. No one else can.

Only you know what’s going on with you.
Everyone else sees the world through their own biased lens.

It is your pain. It is your journey. And it is only your understanding.

20 books that helped me more than years of college or school ever did

It was 2009 when Vivek Pahwa gifted me 

REWORK by Jason Fried and DHH

The book changed me. Threw open a different way of looking at the world. Came to define “resist the obvious” for me as a life lesson. It remains my most gifted book till date.

 

2016: I had just laid off 80 of my colleagues for no mistake of theirs. And this book came to my rescue

BETTER UNDER PRESSURE

“CEOs must master three essential attributes, realistic optimism, subservience to purpose, and finding order in chaos.”

 

When I first read

GRIT: THE POWER OF PASSION AND PERSEVERANCE by Angela Lee Duckworth

I felt like I would want my life to be such a story.

“Passion for your work is a little bit of discovery, followed by a lot of development, and then a lifetime of deepening.”

 

Entrepreneurship was made cool by the media. And then came

THE HARD THINGS ABOUT HARD THINGS by Ben Howoritz

“Life is struggle.” I believe that within that quote lies the most important lesson in entrepreneurship: Embrace the struggle.”

 

As someone who loves to ask questions, this book opened my mind to a whole new set of them

SAPIENS by Yuval Noah Harari

“Money is the most universal and most efficient system of mutual trust ever devised.”

 

 

I love autobiographies

TOOLS OF THE TITANS by Tim Ferris

gave me multiple autobiographies in one.

“If you let your learning lead to knowledge, you become a fool. If you let your learning lead to action, you become wealthy.”

 

I have come to believe that everyone in life requires a coach

THE TRILLION DOLLAR COACH

taught me how

An absolute must for leaders

“Not what happened and who’s to blame, but what are we going to do about it?”

 

Getting to know about Stoicism has helped me immensely in life

A GUIDE TO THE GOOD LIFE: THE ANCIENT ART OF STOIC JOY

is a great book to understand stoicism

“the easiest way for us to gain happiness is to learn how to want the things we already have.”

 

If I ever write a book, I know it will be on the lines of

THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK by Mark Manson

I love its authenticity and realism

“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”

 

For the longest time I used to suck at giving feedback.

And then I read

RADICAL CANDOR by Kim Scott

which changed everything for me

“The way you ask for criticism and react when you get it goes a long way toward building trust—or destroying it.”

 

If there is one book I would love everyone to read every year of their life, it will be

HOW WILL YOU MEASURE YOUR LIFE by Clayton Christensen

“It’s easier to hold your principles 100 percent of the time than it is to hold them 98 percent of the time.”

 

IMO, one of the most simple yet powerful books of our times is

ATOMIC HABITS by James Clear

“You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.”

 

This book shook me to my core and made me realize what is important to me in my life

MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

 

What Nassim Nicholas Taleb did for me in his book

SKIN IN THE GAME

was explain the meaning and importance of risk, like nothing else ever had

“What matters isn’t what a person has or doesn’t have; it is what he or she is afraid of losing.”

 

I started following Kapil Gupta and his thoughts moved me. So I picked up his book

THE DIRECT TRUTH

I was shocked at how little I knew what’s inside my head.

“Why do I get angry when I am insulted? A: Because you entertain the verity of the insult.”

 

IMO there isn’t a better guide to understanding startups, than

THE HIGH GROWTH HANDBOOK by Elad Gil

“In fact, the general model for successful tech companies, contrary to myth, is that they become distribution-centric rather than product-centric.”

 

If there is only 1 autobiography that I would recommend, it would have to be

SHOE DOG by Phil Knight

“The single easiest way to find out how you feel about someone. Say goodbye.”

 

Nothing calms me down than reading Ghalib

Thank you Pankaj Bansal for gifting me

LOVE SONNETS OF GHALIB

It shocks me to read how much Ghalib understood human emotions.

 

Back as a kid obsessed with X-Files (and in love with Scully), the book

CHARIOTS OF THE GODS

added fuel to my imagination

I remain a student of aliens :)

“The positive thing about the skeptic is that he considers everything possible!”

 

The only fiction I have ever read

(and will perhaps ever read) was the only fiction I would ever need to read

THE FOUNTAINHEAD

This is a priceless book.

“To say “I love you” one must know first how to say the “I”.”

 

Any other books you would recommend, that you feel I would enjoy and learn from?

What are we addicted to?

Social media.
Junk food.
Video games
Alcohol
Drugs

Are these the biggest additions?

We are not addicted to these things. We are addicted to the feelings that the things generate.

And all addictions generate a feeling of comfort. Which makes us numb.

When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with failure.
Instead we get comfortable with what we have.
When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with risk.
Instead we get comfortable with safety
When we are addicted to comfort, we don’t get comfortable with challenges.
Instead we get comfortable with appreciation.

The biggest addiction is comfort.
Because we don’t change and challenge ourselves anymore.

Dealing with haters on social media

When we are real and vulnerable on social media, we are inevitably going to face haters.
And they might end up saying things that affect us..

Whenever that happens, here’s a question to ask ourselves: “Would we go to them for their advice when we need it?”

If we wouldn’t take their advice for anything, it certainly doesn’t make sense to take their hate seriously.

Negativity coming your way, isn’t your choice.
You taking in the negativity certainly is.

Does what you’re doing feel shameful?

A kid is told “no” 400 times a day while growing up.  

So as we morph into adults, that behavior gets reflected in everything that we do. It results in “no” being our default response to everything.

This has never been done.
Are you crazy?
What’s going on in your mind that you’re thinking of doing this?

What was taught to be shameful in childhood, might not be the reality.
When we question everything that we think is shameful, we might realize most of those things aren’t.

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