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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
Do words matter? Or is it something else?
It doesn’t matter what we say, people will only understand it through their experiences, in their context, through their lens, driven by their biases.
Now, that might make us think, why does it even matter what we say if that’s the case?
But here’s a better question to ask:
“How can I make an attempt to be understood?”
The words don’t matter. The intent does. The effort does. Empathy does.
The virus is in the mind
Our mental self is highly contagious.
To our physical selves.
And to other’s mental selves.
Our physical self loves to sleep.
It loves to eat. It loves being lazy.
It loves comfort.
Our mental self is powerful.
It has the ability to guide our physical self in the right direction.
When to sleep? What to eat? When to get uncomfortable?
But, it suffers from severe peer pressure and social influence.
What will the world say?
Am I good enough?
What will they think?
All the overthinking leads to a virus in our mind, leaving our physical self with no guidance!
If you know that you are the source of that virus, what would you rather choose to spread?
Failing this test is okay…
The treadmill is a fascinating device.
You walk on it, jog, run, run as fast as you can. Burn energy. Start panting.
But you don’t move an inch forward.
You are exactly where you were, when you started.
Here’s something to think about. Are we putting our hard work and passion into something that is moving us forward?
Or are we busy running at the same spot?
Failing the treadmill test is the best thing you can do to yourself!
How much do you love yourself?
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When you meet some of your friends, you feel excited. You feel pumped up and you feel cared for.
While when you meet some of the other friends, your energy gets drained. Enthusiasm lowers each time. And you just don’t feel cared for!
These are the friends you chose to be with.
You were not born into these relationships.
And since you chose them, you can also choose to get out of them.
When you take energy-draining people out of your life, you stand up for yourself.
That’s not being mean. That’s an act of self-love.
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Who are you listening to?
“Oh, you are doing such great work!”
“This is awesome!”
“It’s so good!”
We love positive feedback! All of us do.
It gives us the confidence to keep doing what we are doing.
But if we keep doing what we do, how would we ever grow?
After a point, what really helps us grow is listening to people who do not have positive feedback.
People who chose not to engage.
They will lead us to our next step if only, we choose to listen.
While it is not necessary to accept everything that people say, it is important to listen and be aware of what they have to say!
Why do we lie?
Remember that one time, when we did something wrong as a kid?
But, we decided to own up to our mistake and tell the truth to our parents?
And we got scolded?
Remember that one time, when we did something wrong as a kid?
But, we decided to tell the truth to our teachers?
And we got scolded?
And remember that one time, when we did something wrong as a kid?
But, we decided to lie to everyone?
And we weren’t scolded!
Are we doing the exact same thing to people around us?
By not appreciating someone for their vulnerability and truth, all we do is cultivate liars.
Don’t take my advice on this…
We often seek advice when we have multiple options in front of us.
And we are unsure of which option to pick!
There begins our journey of finding the right answer.
We look for people who have taken similar decisions before, hoping that we will get an answer!
However, there’s one thing that we often forget in the process.
Their experiences are not ours.
Their advice will be based on the outcome of their decisions.
Which could be driven by the advice of someone else – that’s even worse!
I would rather follow my gut.
If I will ask myself honestly, I will get the answer – an answer which would be way better than anyone else’s!
PS: Don’t take my advice on this – build yours :)
Are you feeling stuck?
I often say consistency is the biggest determinant of success.
And if you measure your progress when you are consistently working towards something, you’ll be able to move forward!
And yet, sometimes we still feel stuck.
We don’t know how to keep going!
Here are the 4 stages that you go through in whatever is it that you start with:
- You have to be told what to do.
- You know what to do.
- You do it.
- You do it well.
If you know where you are currently, you’ll know where to go next.
If you’re feeling stuck, which stage is it?
I wish I would have….
Every time when we think, “I wish I would have done that differently”, we are thinking about something we can’t change.
What’s done has been done.
No amount of thinking will change that.
No amount of regret will change that.
What we can change is what we do next.
So, here are better questions to ask.
“What stopped me from doing whatever it is that I should have done?”
“Do those things still exist in my life?”
“What was it that I did not know back then?”
“Do I know it now?”
Everyone makes mistakes. But not everyone learns from those mistakes.
Something exists between all the rights and wrongs. And that something is called reflection!
You’re wrong….
What do we say when we are disappointed in someone?
“This isn’t what I wanted.”
“Why don’t you work hard?”
“Why didn’t you work longer?”
“Couldn’t you be more diligent?”
Has it worked? Does it work?
I am sure, we all know the answer to it.
Let’s try a different approach.
“I trusted you. You’ve let me down!”
People always know they are wrong.
Pointing that out doesn’t make much of a difference.
But if you let them know how you never expected them to be wrong, they won’t be wrong anymore!
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