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Words. Wisdom. Winners.
Second-order thinking
A simple example of what’s called second-order thinking.
As humans, we are all hard-wired to respond to the immediate result of our actions. The first-order consequences.
Eating chocolate will make us feel good – Immediate result.
Watching Netflix will make us feel good – Immediate result.
Someone lied to us and we feel hurt – Immediate consequence.
It’s only when we go beyond the first-order consequences that we begin to see the true impact of our actions and of those around us.
I will feel good if I eat the chocolate. But it will deteriorate my health in the long run because of excessive sugar.
I will feel good if I binge-watch. However, I would not be able to get enough sleep. I won’t be at my best the next day.
You lied to me. Now I can’t trust you. I will second guess everything that you say. And that will shift into a habit that I will apply to others. And I will find it hard to trust people.
Thinking in second-order is not an exaggeration!
It’s a superpower that helps you see through the long-drawn process of compounding.
Is personalization a boon?
There was a time when content was not democratic.
The TV shows were decided by someone else.
Their timings were decided by someone else.
Their content was decided by someone else.
Noone could choose what to consume.
Either you consume all of it or don’t.
Then came the biggest technology intervention – Personalization.
Content today is a reflection of your interests, your reactions and your engagement.
It’s to get you hooked!
It’s all about what you know, what you want and what you care about!
Technology was meant to help us see things from a different perspective.
Instead, it’s making us more and more enclosed in our worlds.
It’s making us believe that it’s the entire world!
Personalization is not creating a better version of ourselves.
It’s only creating a bigger version of ourselves!
What we are not taught…
We are taught to admire the extraordinary.
To be inspired by them.
To want to become them.
But…
We are raised to become ordinary.
To follow a template.
To take the path already taken.
To admire is easy. To get inspired is easy.
To become extraordinary is not easy – because we haven’t been taught how!
You aren’t the only one!
Today’s generation is under immense pressure.
It’s the pressure of self-doubt more than anything else.
This self-doubt is led by the view that everyone else, except them, has it figured out.
People seem to be eating the nicest looking food.
Wearing the nicest looking clothes.
Clicking the nicest looking selfies.
We think the other person’s life is sorted.
We think that we are not good enough.
What we fail to realize is that others are going through the same anxiety as we are!
At times, all you need to know is that you are not alone in feeling what you are feeling.
This is how you go debt-free!
There is a kind of debt that is rarely talked about.
That’s emotional debt.
I cannot leave this job, because I had promised my boss I will stay.
I cannot leave this job, because I have dreams to fulfill for my family.
I cannot go back to work, because I had promised my kids I would be around.
Emotional debt is intangible. It doesn’t exist.
And because we don’t pay for it everyday, we keep on accumulating interest on it.
Here is what helps.
Treating emotional debt as financial debt.
Take it only when you need it.
Take it only when you can pay it back.
And pay it in monthly installments.
Emotional debt has killed more people than financial debt ever will.
I was jobless!
At 29, I was jobless, with no money, recently married, confused, clueless.
Had no idea where I will be in life.
To all those who think they haven’t done anything in life, and have wasted so much time.
It is not about the years gone by.
It is about the years still left!
But people will like it…
A famous sculptor wanted to sculpt his final masterpiece on top of a hill and he wanted it to be his best work ever.
He worked, day and night, creating patterns and bringing the mountain stones to life.
And when it was all over, he asked a friend to come and see the end result.
The friend saw a stunning piece of art, from the foot of the hill and knew instantly that this was indeed the sculptor’s best work ever!
And so he climbed the hill, to congratulate his friend.
Once he reached, the sculptor insisted that the friend take a closer look and admire the finer aspects of the sculpture.
The friend noticed a crack and reported the same to the sculptor.
The sculptor paused for a minute. Stared at the crack.
One could see his expressions changing.
Without any warning, he took his hammer and destroyed the entire sculpture.
The friend was shocked. What just happened!
“Why did you do that?
No one would have noticed that crack from such a distance.
People would have still liked it!”
“But I noticed the crack.”
Most often we ask ourselves, “Will people like my work?”
But we often forget to ask ourselves, “Do I like my work?”
Difficult decisions in 3 steps…
When we have choices in front of us, we also have a preferred one.
We always know of it.
Accepting that we know that choice, is the first step.
Step 2.
The next step is imagining the worst-case scenario once we have taken the choice.
Step 3.
And then, all we need to see is, if we are comfortable with that worst-case scenario.
Once we realize that we are comfortable, even with the worst, we are mentally prepared to go for it.
People don’t care
You get up every morning.
You show up.
You do the right things.
You work really really hard.
Don’t cheat, don’t steal, don’t beg, don’t lie.
Here is the honest truth – People don’t care!
People don’t care if you are doing the right thing.
They only care if you are doing the right thing for them.
A quote that will change your life in 30 seconds
Nothing changes your life in 30 seconds.
The world would want you to believe in shortcuts.
5 easy ways to do X.
2 simple steps to do Y.
Change your life in 30 days.
Change your life in 30 seconds.
But the harsh truth is, there are no shortcuts.
What will it take to be successful?
It will take everything!
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