Words. Wisdom. Winners.
We feel lonely without others because we have not built a friendship with our own selves.
Who else can be your best friend, but you?
You know your strengths. You know your weaknesses. You know your secrets. You know your desires. You know your mind.
The truth is – the less we know ourselves, the more we seek to know ourselves through others.
But they do not know us.
They know a small part of us.
But we will form an entire image of ourselves, through the limited view that they have of our life.
Does this mean we do not need friends?
Of course not. We need friends.
If one is friends with their own self, then one will still benefit from friends.
But we seem to need them because we think we are alone and need to share our thoughts, sorrows, and experiences.
That is an excuse to not be able to do so with your own self.
Become your best friend.
Bought the latest iPhone.
Bought a second hand Android.
Who is rich?
Person 1, right?
But then you get to know…
Person 1 earns 30% per month of what the iPhone costs.
Took an EMI to pay for it.
Person 2 earns 200% of what the phone cost her.
Paid for it in full.
Now who is rich?
Buying something that erodes in value on debt, does not mean being rich.
It means you borrowed money to show it as yours.
No investment is worth it, if it gives you returns while taking away your sleep.
On the other hand – No investment is worth it, if it just sleeps, while you do.
- The mentor should NOT be the only one you have.
One person can’t take care of everything. You need to have multiple mentors catering to fields they can help with.
For example, I have mentors when it comes to money, career, spirituality, people management, etc. And these are not the same people.
- The mentor should NOT be much older than you.
When 20-yr olds write to me requesting for me to become their mentor, I have a facepalm moment.
I will make a horrible mentor to a 20yr old. Because things that are obvious to me are things the other person would not have even experienced. So, when I share something obvious and they will not understand (for no fault of theirs), they will think “I must be dumb to not get it. Because clearly this person is an achiever and knows what he is talking about.”
What you want is a mentor that is 5yrs, max 10yrs older than you. So that they offer a perspective that is relatable.
- The mentor should NOT think like you.
If they do, you will get the same answers that you too would have come up with.
The mentor needs to challenge your thinking – ask you questions to push you in a new direction that you could explore.
- Struggle together:
You build the deepest bond with those who you share your struggle with. So, I would want to have a partner where my struggles are shared with her, and hers are shared with me. NOT to fix them. To give company. To offer solace during hard times. To go through a struggle and see how both emerge stronger from that experience.
Ruchi and I have struggled together through financial crises, through personal crises, and every such occasion has only got us closer.
- Learn together:
Learning together is fun. It is new, it is hard, but it is enjoyable if it resonates with both. So, I’d pick something that is liked by both and then enjoy the journey together.
Ruchi and I trained for tennis together for 2 years and it was awesome.
We work out every day at the gym, and while our times do not overlap, we do exchange notes that convert it into a learning process.
- Fart and laugh:
I am being serious here. If you are okay farting in front of your partner, not asking “Who did it, who did it?” and instead laughing about it – that’s when you know you are with someone who you can totally be yourself with. Isn’t that precious?
Ruchi and I have that. We actually judge other couples who can’t do this, lol.
It was my first job.
I joined the R&D team for a corporate training company.
I was earning 15K/month – more money than I ever thought I would make.
Life was good for the first 2-3 months.
And then came the turning point.
One of the biggest FMCG companies wanted us to design a sales training program for their field staff.
I was given the project.
I had NO IDEA where to start!
The next week, I went on many sales trips.
Just observing them.
The training programs until then were PPTs with exercises.
You know, the boring PPTs with font 14 text.
I knew this crowd comprising field sales executives would hate that.
You may not know this, but I LOVE movies.
The idea of a story summarised in 1-3 hours.
So I decided to create a movie!
A day in the life of Ramesh, the sales guy.
He was my SRK.
The best performing sales guy in the company.
I chronicled his day, from start to end.
How he planned his day.
How he approached shopkeepers.
How he formed a connection.
How he handled objections.
I worked 16+ hours a day for a week, creating a movie using PPT animations.
It was exhausting but so much fun!
I was convinced it would work.
And it did!
But something weird began to happen.
I began to get a LOT of work.
Back then, I didn’t know how to say no.
So, I said yes and was instantly burdened.
I could see my peers chilling, relatively.
It felt like some people’s work had been given to me.
I had a meeting with my manager. I vented.
When I was done, she said: “Good people pay a far higher price for being good than bad people pay for being bad.”
The world is selfish. So when it finds people who are good at what they do, the world decides not to risk it. It gives ALL the work to them while taking it away from the bad ones. If you find yourself overworked, it is because people know you can do it.”
“So now you have 2 choices in life. Be good with your work and get a lot of work. Or suck at your work and get less meaningful work. What do you want to choose?”
When someone says “I have a new project for you”, realise that they are giving it to you because they believe YOU can do it.
1. No one is truly your friend until they have seen the worst of you and still choose to stay.
2. No one is truly your friend until they say “I believe in you” when you struggle to believe in yourself.
3. No one is truly your friend until they choose to tell you the truth, even though they might be affected personally for saying so.
As kids, all we heard were stories.
And these stories shaped up our worldview.
Our fears, hopes, desires and imagination stems from these stories.
But as we grow up, logic takes over.
1+1 becomes 2 and nothing else.
History becomes fact and nothing more.
Nature becomes evolution and nothing beyond.
And we forget how much we loved stories.
We forgot how, hearing stories, makes us go back to who we were!
We have suppressed the child within us.
But it is still alive!
If I can find the kid in me and bring him back, that will be the best gift I can give myself.
Dad had just lost his job. We were under severe debt. Desperate for money, he started working at a corporate gifts biz.
That night, we had to fill ball pens with refills, to be paid per 100 pens.
The room was full of pens. And I asked “how will we ever fill them all?”
Dad said, “There are 3 of us. We can fill 3 pens each every minute. So 9 pens every min. Which means in a night we can do 3000 pens!”
And I was like “wow!”
We filled pens the whole night.
He gave me hope.
We made it! :)
??From an early age, thinking about money was not encouraged.
It was the unsaid rule that money is important, but thinking about it is evil.
After all, money was the reason behind the fights, the wars, the disagreements.
Now I know, it is not money that is the cause.
It is the importance we attach to it, in our lives.
Money is simply a medium of transaction.
When it becomes an emotion, that is when it consumes us.
And that is true for all things in life!
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