We don’t choose our parents.
Nor can we choose how they conduct themselves as parents.
Or the repercussions of it.
But we do choose what to do to ourselves, once we are aware of what happened.
We can either blame them for our lives.
Or we can choose to heal ourselves.
Both are going to be painful, but choosing pain to heal is a preferable place to be in, than choosing pain to add to existing pain.
A part of growing up is being able to parent ourselves, if we believe we deserved better.
Took Claude help to rewrite my messy message to something you can understand.. hehe!!!
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I genuinely feel the cruelest injustice of childhood trauma is this,
Children spend years… sometimes entire lifetimes… unlearning wounds they never chose, never caused, and never deserved.
They fight daily battles inside themselves,, rewiring patterns that were burned into them before they even had the words to say “this is wrong.”
They do the hardest work a human being can do, the exhausting, lonely, invisible work of healing for damage they never once asked for.
Years of reparenting yourself.
Rewiring a nervous system that learned fear before it learned love.
Fighting your own mind every single morning just to function.
All of it, every sleepless night, every therapy session, every breakdown and breakthrough, to fix something you had absolutely no hand in breaking.
We didn’t create the wound.
But we showed up every single day to heal it anyway.
That’s not weakness.
I feel that’s the most quietly heroic thing a person can do.
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20 days of showing up for your words — All 11 questions still in your inbox, patiently, curiously waiting.