Ever since our TV Campaigns went off, the deluge of sponsorship emails has been uncanny. However, what came in today, caught my attention. I rarely respond to such emails unless they catch my attention in the right manner. This one did too, though not for the right reasons


Original Email

edited <edited@gmail.com>
7:53 PM (11 minutes ago)

to marketing
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: edited <edited@gmail.com>
Date: 23 December 2012 19:47
Subject: Fwd: sponsorship proposal
To: sponsorship@edited.com


this is a proposal for sponsorship of our event .since your facility is best yet in this competitive world we all need advertising .it will be a great hon-our for our society to be associated with  our society.since your target audience and that of ours is same we must look forward to this collaboration.
And this was my response
Dear edited

If you had wished to get responses from your email, you have succeeded. However, if you had wished to get a positive response, you will have to try a lot harder.
In the not so distant past, I was a student of Hindu College Physics Department, looking for sponsorship for our annual festival – Quarks.
And here is what I realized, which I think will be important for you too
  1. Writing an email, is an art. Never forward an email, unless absolutely necessary.
  2. Make the email personal, especially if you are writing in for the first time. A quick 5 minutes search would have told you who the head of marketing, or the head of the organization is. Address the email to them. Name them in your email. This goes a long way!
  3. All emails should be 100% accurate in grammar. Else they lose respect, even if they were truly genuine. You are from one of the best colleges at DU and I would expect the highest standards of written vocabulary from such a student
  4. Last, but not the least – realize that you are asking someone for their money. This money has most likely been earned through a lot of hard work. Establish why this money will be best utilized, when you ask for it. There are 100 other colleges and 100 other avenues, of spending this money. So why you. A document cannot answer that. You can!
Sorry for the unsolicited advice. But I wish someone had done that when I was young and learning. I just hope I am of help, but if I an not – dont bother! What I say is most likely not important! :)
All the best with edited!
I am sure he will end up fine. And this advice will not make or break his life. But it is a bit disturbing that a student during his graduation believes that an email such as this would have served his purpose.