I have a “problem”

I have been trained to think that everything is a consequence of me. I am the source of the current situation. My thoughts, my actions led to what we are witnessing, especially if it’s bad. 

I may not admit it all the time, but within I am already cursing myself. Scrutinizing myself. Killing myself. 

It is hard being this way. But I don’t know any better. This approach keeps me honest and keeps me up. All the time. 

Here is the deal with being honest with one’s own self. 

Most of us don’t do it. 

It’s so easy to blame others. 

It’s so easy to blame external circumstances. 

It’s so easy to think that something else led to this. Something we didn’t control. We did the best we could. 

Because this approach makes us think we are still good enough 

And good enough helps us sleep well at night

The next time something bad happens, start by assuming you are responsible. This is different from blaming yourself, where you will play the victim and console yourself. 

Make yourself responsible. What is it that you did that led you to this. Did it make sense? Was it right after all? Could there have been an alternate approach? 

Could you be the one that needs to change, and not the world? 
If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. 

If you ran into assholes all day, you are the asshole