Go back to the time when you failed, when you lost, when you didn’t make it. It was likely as part of the reflection, you blamed someone else.
If only they had not done it. If only the had done it. If only they didn’t say this. If only the had said this. If only they didn’t behave this way. If only they had reacted.
Here is a reminder
Other people are not the problem.
It’s the belief that other problem are the problem, which is the problem!